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Need help!!

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:12 PM
  • 14 Replies
I'm out if ideas ladies. I'm tired. My kids have been fighting me tooth and nail for almost 2 weeks. Nothing I do is getting thru. This morning after zacks 3rd time out and the 10 th time I'd talked to him in an hour, I just broke down and cried. I've talked, I've yelled, I've bribed, spanked, grounded, and nothing gets thru. I don't know what else to do. At the end of my rope :(
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by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mandee1503
by Amanda on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:16 PM

*hugs* I'm sorry. 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Mar. 22, 2013 at 7:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Big hugs mama!  What diagnosis do your children have?  

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 7:50 PM
Livesinthebalance.com
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jjamom
by Michele on Mar. 22, 2013 at 7:58 PM
HUGS! If possible, give yourself a time-out! Go and sit in your bedroom for 10-15 mins and read, close your eyes and just relax, watch a few mins of TV, whatever. Seriously, I have done it and it helps when you feel overwhelmed.
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Elyssa414
by Elyssa on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:09 PM
Have you seem a behaviorist?

I'm so sorry
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arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 2:24 AM
Zack has aspergers and is suspected of also having ADHD, odd, and spd. Maggie has sensory processing disorder and Jeremiah has developmental delay.
I'm sorry to be so negative and a downer but sometimes it all just swallows me. We're on spring break and I'm doing my spring cleaning this week, so I know the change of routine is at least part if it. But knowing that certainly doesn't make it any easier. The constant meltdowns and ignoring me and disobedience is ridiculous. I swear I out them in timeout for something and 2 seconds later they're back in for the same thing! And Jeremiah just doesn't seem to get it. I tell him no for something and he either continues to repeat his request or just goes and does it anyway. It's just exhausting.
Thanks for letting me blowup. I'll try to curb it ;)


Quoting darbyakeep45:

Big hugs mama!  What diagnosis do your children have?  


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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Mar. 23, 2013 at 7:33 AM

Does Zack have any therapists?  Behavioral (ABA) therapists maybe?  They might be able to give you some good ideas.  Don't every apologize for venting or being negative in this group mama...that's what we are here for!  Big hugs!

Quoting arkansasmama08:

Zack has aspergers and is suspected of also having ADHD, odd, and spd. Maggie has sensory processing disorder and Jeremiah has developmental delay.
I'm sorry to be so negative and a downer but sometimes it all just swallows me. We're on spring break and I'm doing my spring cleaning this week, so I know the change of routine is at least part if it. But knowing that certainly doesn't make it any easier. The constant meltdowns and ignoring me and disobedience is ridiculous. I swear I out them in timeout for something and 2 seconds later they're back in for the same thing! And Jeremiah just doesn't seem to get it. I tell him no for something and he either continues to repeat his request or just goes and does it anyway. It's just exhausting.
Thanks for letting me blowup. I'll try to curb it ;)


Quoting darbyakeep45:

Big hugs mama!  What diagnosis do your children have?  



SamMom912
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:21 AM

Sorry, i was going out to dinner and was getting picked up at 7:45. But anted to respond. Please I beg you for your own sanity visit ross greenes website. 

I think your driving yourself crazy looking at your children through the wrong lenses. Please forgive me for being blunt, but Your seeing their behavior as disobidient. Your seeing their meltdowns as tantrums. Your seeing your children as being bratty, and disrespectful, (and i did with my own UNTIL i found this website and dr and his books!) and they are Not. I know its a stretch, but since youve tried everything,,, (concequences, time outs, yelling, pleading, im sure youve even resorted to bribary... But none if it works... THIS WORKS. I can vouch... This works IF you work it, 

Your children have delays. They have delays with social, emotional, frustration tolerance, sensory issues. If any of this sounds familiar- again, i suggest the website:

They have difficulty regualting their emotions or Emotional response to frustration as to even think clearly.

They have difficulty transitioning.., (going from watching tv to coming to the table. ) 

Difficulty considering likely outcomes or concequences of actions

Difficulty shifting from orignial ideas, plans or solutions

Difficulty appreciating how their behavior is affecting other people

Difficulty doing things in a prescribed order or logical sequence.

Unable to handle unpredictabilty, ambiguity, uncertainty, novelty.

If any or all of  of these (and there are more!) sound familiar. And youd like to stop banging your head against the wall. Read "the explosive child or Visit livesinthebalance.org/solving-problems-collaboratively and click on: kids do well if they can button. Its flash, so you can use iphone or ipad. Listen for 4:27 the first of his models... And then let me know your thoughts.... I think you will feel a HELL of a lot better! I think you will feel more in control, more positive and hopeful. , 

HUG! HUGE HUG! 

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:27 AM

After kids do well if they can.. Spend a little time in "whats your explaination, being responsive, check your lenses, and 3 options, then plan B. 

It may take you 40 minutes... But if you can see this, it will change your house, it will change your views... And ultimatley, make all your relationships better. I really hope this brings you to a happier place. I know it did for me. 

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:39 AM
No. We homeschool and can't get any therapy thru the school. And without an actual medical diagnosis we can't get state or federal funding. We have an eval in July so I'm praying we get our diagnosises and will be able to get him back into therapy. He was so much better with it. He hasn't had any since pt last summer and it shows.


Quoting darbyakeep45:

Does Zack have any therapists?  Behavioral (ABA) therapists maybe?  They might be able to give you some good ideas.  Don't every apologize for venting or being negative in this group mama...that's what we are here for!  Big hugs!

Quoting arkansasmama08:

Zack has aspergers and is suspected of also having ADHD, odd, and spd. Maggie has sensory processing disorder and Jeremiah has developmental delay.

I'm sorry to be so negative and a downer but sometimes it all just swallows me. We're on spring break and I'm doing my spring cleaning this week, so I know the change of routine is at least part if it. But knowing that certainly doesn't make it any easier. The constant meltdowns and ignoring me and disobedience is ridiculous. I swear I out them in timeout for something and 2 seconds later they're back in for the same thing! And Jeremiah just doesn't seem to get it. I tell him no for something and he either continues to repeat his request or just goes and does it anyway. It's just exhausting.

Thanks for letting me blowup. I'll try to curb it ;)





Quoting darbyakeep45:

Big hugs mama!  What diagnosis do your children have?  





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