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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Autism? Too social? PIOG

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:59 PM
  • 10 Replies

 My 5 year old is starting testing coming this Tuesday.

For years now we have been getting conflicting reports about my oldest child, my now 5 year old. He did attend a preschool with an IEP and some of the people said he seemed Autistic, but others say that he is too "social". He was on the IEP for "communication delays" which he still has.

His thing is that he cannot follow a conversation nor keep one for more than two or three back and forths. I have watched other kids even younger than him keep on a good conversation and flow just fine. He does have pretend play, but a lot of it seems more to himself than with others. He still seems to really play next to a child than with a child. It is hard to explain, but he seems to go into his own world and play there with the toys.

He is too "social" though, because he will talk to anyone. I mean ANYONE. He will stop people while shopping to tell them about what just happened in his life and or ask what they are doing. He can ask a person three or four times what they are doing and sometimes he just asks once, but he always goes on to talk about whatever thought is going on in his head and not what the person is really doing. It's like he knows that asking someone what they are doing is an ice breaker to just get them to look at him so he can go on about something completely different. And, everyone is suddenly his friend if they talk to him. Even animals become his friend if they are around him (he gets upset when birds fly from him, because they are his friend and he just wanted to play with his friend).

Other times, though, you can call his name many times and if you do not physically catch his attention by touching him, then he continues with his own thing (staring in space, touching something random, spinning).

I will give an example of what he is like: This last Thursday we went to a McDonald's to play. It was a treat for my kids helping with spring cleaning. At the McDonald's Monkey, my son, approached a little girl who was 3 years old (I asked the parents later). They played for a while and the little girl had to go back to her table to eat her ice cream. Monkey went with her and with no boundaries of space was trying to talk to the father so close he could have pretty much kissed him. He was telling the father about his milk allergy and how the little girl was his friend. The dad of course was trying to be polite, but I went over and physically had to move my son from them. He did well with that and went on to play some of the video games (which he couldn't grasp the concept of the foot pedells for the driving game, but my three year old tried many times to show him). The other child finished her ice cream and they played for a long while. He mostly followed her around and/or she followed him around. At one point, though, she said, "What are we playing?" and he said "tag". They joined some of the other kids playing tag and he had a grand time. I called out the warning that we were going to leave (I always give him three warnings before changing his settings, and that is just left over from my part time parenting of his older half brother). When we were about to leave we did a pit stop into the bathroom. We came out and went out the side door. Monkey didn't follow us. I called to him several times and he never came out the door. So, I went back inside and he was spinning from four tables, touching each one on the corners and then going to the next in a circular motion. People were watching him, of course, and I called his name. He just kept doing it. I went over and stopped him and said, "Hun, back into this world, k?" He nodded and said we were going out the "wrong door". It wasn't the door we entered the place in. I told him it was okay and we went with no problems to the car. He took some constant guiding to get him into his seat and buckled while I buckled the others into their seats. He talks constantly, so at first I didn't really listen to what he was saying when he got upset. I asked what was wrong and he said that I turned on the radio and not his song. He wanted the radio to play his song. What song? HIS SONG... okay, I needed to figure out which song he wanted. I then put in the CD that I made him of his songs, the ones he has to listen to constantly on youtube or whatever. Nope, not one of those. Great... okay, I finally figured out which song. He has been obsessed by the Thrift Shop song since the first time it came on the radio and I didn't turn on his CD fast enough. That is now his song, I guess. I passed my phone to my sister and told her to just download it onto my phone. He had to not only listen to it, but has to watch the counter for it while it is playing. I know he does this with the radio in the car when a CD is playing, too. Okay. Once played he was fine. He watched out the door and sang to himself "Atama, Kata, Hiza, Ashi" (which is Head Shoulders Knees and Toes in Japanese).

Then yesterday he became upset at me for not stopping where I was suppose to to meet his dad for his visitation. I was dropping them off at their grandma's house and not meeting their dad like usual. Yeah, interesting ride yesterday. He was fine once he saw his dad, though, at the house like he is suppose to be there. His dad said he would start the schedule there and calm him down.

Also, all week they didn't have school... which I had to explain many times this week that it was spring break and he wasn't going to go to school. That he couldn't play with his friends (the children in the building) because they were all gone for spring break.

I am confused. I finally got the okay from his dad to set up the testing for him, but his dad said not to test for Autism. He doesn't want to hear Autism come out and he is sure our son just has ADHD. I'm not so sure, though. He is a wonderful little boy, but I think it's more than hyper activity and some sensory issue. Everyone around me (my friends and family) keep saying he is too social to be Autistic... is he? Really? Take out the talking to everyone on the planet and I think he has Autism. His dad and I worked with him to get him to look people in the eyes when he talks, but it took us almost 5 years to get him to do it. Seriously he just started to finally look people in the eyes and it never holds. He looks away pretty quick.

His dad and my sister think he is just mimicking his older brother, but his older brother was non-verbal and would never even acknowledge another person is in the room unless the person got close to him, in which he would scream and self harm if he didn't know the person.

I am so lost. Please someone help me. Am I looking for something that isn't there?

I'm a Pagan single mother to Monkey (2007), Lump (2009), Bean (2011), and Princess (2012).


  grey ribbon red ribbonlove you signMilk Allergy, delays, heart defects and CAPD can't defeat us!

by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ATG499
by Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 8:34 PM
That was far too long for me to read, but he sounds a lot like my almost 4yr old. I voice my opinions and they get shot down, saying it can't be Autism because he makes too much eye contact.
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Pukalani79
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 8:57 PM

 Sounds so much like my daughter! She also plays more near than with other kids.  Although she does play with them as well.  She just tends to live in her own world most of the time.  She is also super social and did have some communication delays (didn't talk until she was 4-5).  They are working on getting set up to test for ADD (she is not hyper). But I'm interested to find out what they decide is going on with your son.  Good luck and please keep us updated.

Kenre
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:17 PM
His communication skills suck, but he talked early. In fact, he knows a lot of ASL, English, Japanese, German and Spanish. He is learning all of these languages and can sing almost any song. His vocabulary was off the testing charts when he had his IEP, but he is very specific.

Quoting Pukalani79:

 Sounds so much like my daughter! She also plays more near than with other kids.  Although she does play with them as well.  She just tends to live in her own world most of the time.  She is also super social and did have some communication delays (didn't talk until she was 4-5).  They are working on getting set up to test for ADD (she is not hyper). But I'm interested to find out what they decide is going on with your son.  Good luck and please keep us updated.

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mandee1503
by Amanda on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:22 PM

I know a little boy who is autistic and he is very social, awkward, but will talk your ear off. Good luck! Keep pushing for your little guy! 

Cooperfamily
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:30 PM
My son was just like your son and he was diagnosed with autism on the 11th. You know your son and dont let anyone tell you different. ((hugs))
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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Mar. 24, 2013 at 9:13 AM

Yep.  I agree here.  Just because a child is social doesn't mean he's not Autistic.  I would personally have him evaluated for everything...if you can.  Hugs mama!

Quoting mandee1503:

I know a little boy who is autistic and he is very social, awkward, but will talk your ear off. Good luck! Keep pushing for your little guy! 


LauraT-H
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 9:46 PM
Sounds like aspergers and getting the correct" name" is getting the help they need in life right. So you and the father are already accommodating his needs, it's how the other people in his life need to do the same.
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sammygrl77
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 9:53 PM
I agree.


Quoting LauraT-H:

Sounds like aspergers and getting the correct" name" is getting the help they need in life right. So you and the father are already accommodating his needs, it's how the other people in his life need to do the same.

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scarlita88
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:24 AM

oh dear me...i am  by no means any kind of diagnostician but you are describing asd(autism spectrum disorder) to a tee!  it would appear that you have a very special,sweet kid who may be on the high functioning end. i am thinking of my child and how jesse always watched everything around him like a hawk when he was little but he never reached for anything. and the costant chatter! and the asking the same question over and over. not answering to his name. running all through the house smashing into everything including me . didnt pick a handedness til most of the way through pre-k. explaining that its the weekend or summer vacation for days. having to try and guess what they mean by ( fill in the blank). getting in personal space of others. not playing with other kids except in a vague or idiosyncratic way. no real ability at back and forth conversation.when jesse runs or wanders around the house aimlessly( or alot of following me) he makes noises with his mouth. getting to and in car  takes forever because of constant redirecting. forget getting dressed with out one of us being stressed out. my boy is so sweet and will look you in the eye somewhat but it seems to come and go. when he is being assessed he watches the person and is friendly so he seems social too. and to top it off was born real early so his sensory stuff and speech delay are easily explainable by that so i hear a lot of hemming and hawing. i am still working on firming up his diagnoses which they decided was both autism and adhd. but more so he could get help. now he is in  first grade with no i.e.p. his whole school career but it is finally in the works... pray for us.  he had early intervention a little past three. but he has skills then loses skills then makes progress so they signed off and left it up to me. i will say that i think noone wants to go out on a limb because at your sons age they still act so??( each child has strengths and weaknesses with many skills still emergent) and that might keep you from getting a firm diagnoses yet. but you are right on the money .frankly its not as important that you get a label as much as it is that they hear you and answer your concerns so that you have answers for your life and how to shape his.  good luck and dont give up!

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:33 AM

sounds like autism to me mama

Sadly, I think you're in for a fight if you really want the diagnosis. I was told once that when you have met one child with autism, you have met one child with autism. They are not all the same. They are not all textbook. Some have eye contact. Some will play with peers. Some have sensory issues. Some don't do any of these things. Some aren't even verbal. that's what makes it a spectrum. I get it. I'm in the same fight.

Hang in there mama. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know. Sounds like you have far more patience and are better with him than I am with my 3

 

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