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I need help and opinions... Please!!!

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:11 PM
  • 11 Replies
So I have a step daughter with Down syndrome but its not easy to deal with because is not just down syndrome we are dealing with she walk has seizures that cause her to fall. She does not eat food orally or speak. This is hard because for a 6 yr old these are things that she should do. My husband and I are not in formed of Dr appt and the mother doesnt take her to therapy so she can learn to eat or speak. I'm not sure what to do. We have takin her to court for these things but she doesn't care. It is very frustrating to me. And on top of it mothers day is coming and she had got my husband something last year for fathers day. I don't think she deserves a mothers day gift but I like to think I'm a nice person so I feel that we should get her something. But have no clue. I can't have my step daughter make anything cuz she isn't capable. What do I do? My husband's ex is also a lesbian now so do we get them both something or just the mom. I'm so confused on what to do. Help me please
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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:11 PM
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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:19 PM

 As far as your sd goes I don't know what to tell you except talk to a lawyer and talk to her dr's. Your husband doesn't need anything special he can request a meeting with the dr's that she has and talk to them and then with that and what your lawyer says then you can go from there. Anything other than that I don't know. As far as Mother's Day goes I would get just the mother a gift as that is what the day is Mother's Day.

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by Amanda on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:53 PM
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Good luck. I would be seeking a lawyer and trying to get her into therapy and get her medicine.
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by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:56 PM

myself i wouldnt do anything for the mom , can you take her to theripies , taslk with her DR. get referals for theripies and dont tell other people-if you could

by Gold Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:58 AM
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I wouldn't do anything for Mother's Day. I don't really think that's your responsibility. If she's in a school or similar setting they'll do something I'm sure.
As far as the other, how much do you have her? I agree that her father has just as much right to her medical records and should have the ability to request an eval for therapy or medication. If you don't think she's being cared for properly, talk to a lawyer. Remember tho, her mother does have the right to refuse treatment for her. I don't think that's the best choice but it is her choice. If nothing else, maybe try doing some research and talk to some therapists to see what you can do at home when you have her to help her progress.
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by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:57 PM

My advice as far as her Mom not keeping her appointments would be to petition the court for guardianship for medical reasons or at least joint custody. As far as Mother's Day is concerned, I would simply get her a card and flowers and leave her lover out of it. Good luck!

by Darby on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:56 PM

I wouldn't bother getting the mom anything for Mother's Day...not your responsibility.  Can you take her to therapy and appointments? 

by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 9:51 AM

Get paper & washable ink. Ink the girls hands/feet and make something home made and only for her mom. Good luck with everything. 

by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:20 AM

Her father has the right to talk to her doctors, school, therapists and see what is going on and why she has been having these issues.Have your husband make an appointment when you guys have her and go. Than talk to a lawyer and see what can be done after you get the facts from the doctor. It will show you are concerned for her well being and want to try and make things better for her.

As for mom i wouldn't worry about it. The kids make stuff at school for them. If you feel you would like to do something. Do a hand over hand project with her for her mom like a card or painting

by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Thanx for all the advice... But every time we ask for her records depending on what Dr office we are charged for getting them... We were charged $60 for 10 papers one time! The mother does not take her to therapy, school, and tries to restrict where we take her when we have her. She has never had the same Dr longer then 6 months which is an issue since my SD is 6 yrs old and mentally a 7 month old. She has no oral skills such as eating or talking. This is very difficult to handle. I feel it should be a child abuse case due to the fact that the mother is not providing for her correctly. My SD legally does not have to be in school till she is 8 yrs old. I feel this is ridiculous. Because of this the mother doesn't take her and always has am excuse as to why. My SDdoes not interact with other children other then her 13 yr old half sister. This whole situation keeps me up at night worrying that something bad will happen. CPS and all those places won't help because she is not bruised or malnutritioned (to them) She is 6 and weighs only 23 lbs. I can't even do paint, crayon, or maker project with my SD. She doesn't like her hands or feet touched at all. Her nails are never clipped this is wrong to me. They hardly bathe her I always do she doesn't like it but these things need to be done. I don't see how a mother doesn't care for her child. I'm at a loss right now with how to help my SD. Thank you guys for all the advice you have giving me.
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:42 PM

She can make a card-even if it is hand over hand--Homemade card-one card with both names

My son is 20 years old and on a toddler/very young pre-school level

Just care and love and do what you can do and have you and dh document everything down-

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