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about to break down...need a confidence booster....

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 3:36 PM
  • 25 Replies
So my son who has only been diagnosed ADD, but we have many other suspect diagnoses, totally bombed his tests last week. Like 33% bombed. Some he totally didnt even answer questions, and some he must have really not known what is going on. These are reading tests that we do not have study guides or anything for, they are basically trying to get the kids to write down what they found from the selection and summarize or whatever the topic is that week. He is awful at writing. Doesnt capitalize, put punctuation where it belongs, and a lot of times his handwriting is so awful, big letters, small letters, you cant even read it. Nor can he. He goes to tutoring 3 hours per week privately, with a teacher who has three children who have NEVER had anything below an A on anything. Her oldest son is in one of the top colleges in the nation to be a doctor. Anyways, she cant figure him out either. She has been tutoring him for almost a year and we have made no progress. I feel like I am failing my son. It will be 12 months before I can get him in DDBP at Childrens. ANY suggestions????? I am lost.
by on May. 7, 2013 at 3:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bluecalm
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 4:27 PM
How old is he?
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kelster_momof4
by on May. 7, 2013 at 4:36 PM
He will be 10 In October. Been in speech and OT since he was 3 through the district. Speech has gotten very noticeably worse this year and handwriting, well I am about to the point of no return with that. Hand strength is about 15 pounds under the average in both hands and his left is 1 pound stronger than right (he is right handed). I just don't get it. I can't help my own kid. It is pissing me off. I have nightmares and nervous breakdowns about this. Is he going to be a child lost in the cracks?? Probably. Will he be able to make it in the real world one day?? Probably not. But what can you do when you feel like you are trying everything and nothing is working?? Nothing is working. They say he is teachable. Is he? He ddoesn't retain knowledge. We started out this year doing multiplication facts. Now they are reviewing the year and he ddoesn't remember ONE SINGLE MULTIPLICATION FACT!!!!!! I am going to go bald.
kelster_momof4
by on May. 7, 2013 at 4:45 PM
I don't even think his issue is speech at all at this point. He pauses in the middle of words sometimes and it can take 2 or three minutes for him to get a sentence out sometimes. This was not the case before. What kind of condition could this be where a speech issue takes 9years to show up???
mami386
by on May. 7, 2013 at 6:51 PM

you have to try and relax yourself, i know its not easy but thats step #1. gather yourself . we are our kids models so if they see us stressed out and not in control they wont either.  you have to observe your son for yourself and see whats going on. why the changes, why isnt he retaining information you show him. if your a stay home mom watch everything he do and daily keep tract. if that doesnt help try turning to more professional(harbor reginal center) help with lots of  family support. all we can do is try but dont stress yourself, ok hun?

SamMom912
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 8:34 PM

Yeah, wow! Have some wine! Lol... You do sound really tense. 

So your sons stopping in the middle of the sentence is classic add... He is losing focus, falling of the thought train, and scrambling to get back on, if he makes it back on to what he was trying to say.. Thats great! Kuddos to him. Mom.. This is a tough time of year for our kids. Our kids dont handle pressure well at all. Does he take tests timed or does he hit the resource room for support to take tests?( Im hoping those bad scores were not with support)...and if theyre not, then id ask teachers about getting him support for tests. Im also not surprised by the scores for what they are asking him to do... It isnt a great test for Add kids.. To read, retain, interpret, regurgitate. For example the test for Add (a small part of the diagnostic test) is to write a story and then draw a picture. In MANY cases, the picture and the story are not related in kids with Add... Because the thought pattern changes from 1 task to the next.

Is your 10 year old on medication for add? How is his behavior at home? At school? Does he have friends? Is he social? Sports? Does he fight you on homework and other hard tasks? 

What do the teachers say? Does he have an iep? Is he in a special ed / collab class? 

Im sorry you are so stressed. I didnt mean to Sound callous with the wine comment. Our kids are challenging, 

JaSeaKnight3
by Member on May. 7, 2013 at 8:42 PM
Your not alone in this i am going through a similar issue w my son just a little younger. Adhd is only the begin of his probs, & o have 2 more. Just need to keep you're chin up which i know is easier said then done. What state are you in?
CameronsMommy23
by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:55 PM
This exactly. Take a step back from time to time, come back to it refreshed. Document everything and be patient. Big hugs!!

Quoting mami386:

you have to try and relax yourself, i know its not easy but thats step #1. gather yourself . we are our kids models so if they see us stressed out and not in control they wont either.  you have to observe your son for yourself and see whats going on. why the changes, why isnt he retaining information you show him. if your a stay home mom watch everything he do and daily keep tract. if that doesnt help try turning to more professional(harbor reginal center) help with lots of  family support. all we can do is try but dont stress yourself, ok hun?

kelster_momof4
by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:56 PM
he does have an IEP he does have help on standardized testing and small group. in regular class, he has preferential seating. He has no friends, except the neighbor who is pretty much all of our friend lol. He does play some sports, basketball and enjoys tossing baseball. He never gets passed the ball and struggles with other kids while out on the court. He doesnt fight me with homework but does argue when I try to help him and it isn't the exact same way his teacher or tutor taught him. He must have a routine. MUST. I am not sure if the testing help applies to regular classroom testing, I need to figure that out for sure. I don't know. This is all just ridiculous to me. How can this really be this hard????? Why is helping your kid so hard???? Ugh.
CameronsMommy23
by on May. 7, 2013 at 9:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Has he been seen by a developmental pediatrician? They are a more thorough type of pediatrician. Maybe they can help. Also if his speech is regressing maybe you can have him evaluated by a neurologist. Those are the routes that I know of. My son has a massive brain injury due to stroke, epilepsy, left sided weakness, and ADHD.
SamMom912
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 9:27 PM


From what your saying, i def see why you have some other suspect dxs. I think your son has a lot of stuff getting in his way to the path to success...im guessing there are a lot (too many) hurdles at school to really give his work the attention that it needs- and when focus is already a problem... All these other issues can really preoccupy his mond and make it even harder! Would you consider a different classroom setting for him? Does your school have an integrated or collab class (1/2 regualr ed, 1/2 special ed- typically 3 teachers). Have you spoken to the school psychologist/ social worker about him/ social skills training? 

Have you talked to him bout his school day? What he likes. What he doesnt like? And i dont mean subject wise.. I mean things/ issues in the classroom that go on he notices.. Has difficulty with... Struggles with... And again, not concepts or subjects- but the overall day.. Noise levels, problems at lunch, problems in his class, issues with other kids at recess, problems on the bus, difficulty tranistioning from subject to subject (still thinking about math when they are onto social studies) etc.... 

I think perhaps you guys should go for a walk (when your both calm and relaxed)or a drive (where there is no direct eye contact- easier for our kids to talk - there is no facial distractions) and really get your concerns, his concerns, his issues on the table. Im guessing that there are lots of problems at school that need solving together.... 


Quoting kelster_momof4:

he does have an IEP he does have help on standardized testing and small group. in regular class, he has preferential seating. He has no friends, except the neighbor who is pretty much all of our friend lol. He does play some sports, basketball and enjoys tossing baseball. He never gets passed the ball and struggles with other kids while out on the court. He doesnt fight me with homework but does argue when I try to help him and it isn't the exact same way his teacher or tutor taught him. He must have a routine. MUST. I am not sure if the testing help applies to regular classroom testing, I need to figure that out for sure. I don't know. This is all just ridiculous to me. How can this really be this hard????? Why is helping your kid so hard???? Ugh.



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