Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

my mother passed away

Posted by on May. 8, 2013 at 10:55 PM
  • 17 Replies

on monday, i now have custody of my 16 year old brother that has aspergers and depression and adhd plus i have my almost 1 year old cerebral pasly daughter how can i transition my brother into having to move outta my moms house because the size is too small...

by on May. 8, 2013 at 10:55 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
gma12.1
by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:05 PM

I am so sorry to hear that your Mother has passed. I wish I had some advice to give you.   ***Big Hugs Momma*** 

My Second time around & loving it!
boy n girl     toddler girlLina

The Twins R & A

Pukalani79
by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:38 PM

 I'm so sorry for your loss.  I dont have any experience with aspergers, but here's a hug and a bump for those who do.  ((HUG))

Elyssa414
by Elyssa on May. 9, 2013 at 12:18 AM
I am so sorry. Social stories?
jmrb2012
by on May. 9, 2013 at 12:29 AM

he isnt very good with change and i dont want to move to fast for him he will snap

 

mandee1503
by Amanda on May. 9, 2013 at 12:36 AM

I'm so sorry. Good luck!

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2013 at 6:29 AM
I am so sorry!!!
Are you staying at your moms house with him? Maybe try just a day at a time. Spend the day at your house and go back to his at night. Then a night at your house and a night at his and just build up to it, if that's possible.
darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 9, 2013 at 6:50 AM

I'm sorry to hear this.  Hugs mama!

SamMom912
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:50 AM

Im so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is really hard. And now, taking in your aspie brother will have challenges, my deepest condolences. When i lost my mom it was heartbreaking.. And honestly, the wound is still there.  Its just always hard now... Seeing kids with grandmothers (my kid doesnt have one- she passed before he was born)... Mothers day... All challenges. Im also really sorry youll feel this too... Its tough. 

Has there been time for your brother to mentally prepare for this change? Many Aspies suffer with anxiety and this situation of having to leave his home is pretty anxiety ridden. Is he High functioning? Does he attend school? Does he have friends? 

I would suggest you talk to him about what he wants to do. Explain that he will need to come to your house, but you dont want to rush him. Perhaps he can twll you how long he will need to stay at his house(a week) slowly packing and then transition to your house. I would suggest you have him over for dinners, an hour here or there over the transitional time.. So there is a comfort level. Perhaps even having him and his friend come over, hang out... So again, increasing the comfort with some support. 

You may want to reach out to the school psychologist as well and perhaps a private ine (maybe school can recommend) to help him deal with the outfall, the change, the loss..

How close are you? Do you know each other well? I only ask because my bro and I are not close. He was only 11 when I went to college and then they moved 8 hours away... So i only saw him 2 times a year.. And now even less. If youre not close, you may want to reach out in other ways, like take a drive or walk and chat. Try to avoid eye contact by doing something side by side when you chat. Its typically less stressful for aspies. 


jjamom
by Michele on May. 9, 2013 at 8:50 AM
I am SO sorry for your loss! Is your Mom's house close by? If so, I would say take things slow. If not, it will be especially difficult trying to go back and forth. I would talk to the school and see if they can help. Maybe he has a behavioral therapist who works with him? Get them involved. Will he also need to change schools? Huge hugs!
mommy4lyf
by on May. 9, 2013 at 9:08 AM

hugs

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)