Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Everyone keeps saying this is normal child behavior but I know its not! (LONG)

Posted by on May. 22, 2013 at 4:25 PM
  • 96 Replies
1 mom liked this

For the longest time, I have known that something was different about my DD. Ever since she was diagnosed with lead poisoning at 7 months until we got it under control at 13 months.

She started all her first early, she had her head up within a week-2 weeks, rolled completely before turning 3 months, crawled between 4-5 months, walked at 8 months (closer to 9 months) and babbling at 12 months. But she barely could verbalize words, she had violent interactions with other kids and she was just a little bit slower at most things then other kids. I mean she would excel at learning things like her shapes, colors and stuff (which she knew by 2) but important stuff like stop and no still are literally hard for her to comprehend. Why? I have no idea.

Well, lately she has been getting more violent. Throwing things (it doesnt matter what it is either) at kids and adults, kicking, hitting, still biting and just overly violent. She gets time outs and things taken away but I don't know what else to do. I keep hearing spank her but she was spanked and I think that played a big part in it too. It was stupid and now I encourage people to not spank her because, with someone with behavior violence issues like DD, its pointless because it just makes her more violent. But my family and close friends don't believe it. They say this is normal child behavior and that spanking would do the trick. And no matter what I say they won't listen to me.

I am trying to do what is best for my daughter and I know I am probably going to be bashed a little and thats fine. I can't just say stay away from her because I live with my family. She gets E.I. Services and she is meeting with a child psychologist on the 4th of June and I am trying to find a developmental pediatrician (my insurance provider found some pediatricians with ABA training so I am going to call them tomorrow because I literally just got my insurance cards in the mail yesterday). 

I know that this is not normal behavior and no matter what I say nobody believes me. Her E.I people think its PDD (I have posted that before in here) but I'm starting to think its not. I admit that I made plenty of mistakes in the past with this not knowing that some of these behaviors are not normal but for the last year, I have been dedicated to doing it the right way and not having support is killing me! I don't know what else to do! Can you ladies give me a little advice on how to handle the people around me? I don't want to have to uproot her because they don't know tolerance but I refuse for them to think that I will spank her or that they will spank her if Im not around. I never leave her with anyone anyway because I am at home with her all day and if Im not 98% of the time she is with me while Im out but if I have to, that is what I am worried about. Thanks ladies.

by on May. 22, 2013 at 4:25 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
PurpleCupcake
by on May. 22, 2013 at 5:56 PM
11 moms liked this

I believe you! :)

I am wondering what her environment is like. 

Some kids with special needs will react inappropriately if their environment is over stimulating. It is like a sensory over load.

Is the environment very neat, no clutter...really simple decor, neutral colors?

Is there a lot if noise? Lot if people talking? Tv? Music?

Also, sounds like she may have trouble communicating feelings...So she just reacts violently. 

Good luck!

SamMom912
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2013 at 6:24 PM
5 moms liked this
Your DD is conveying lots of information to you. Listen to her. Talk to her. When does she act out? (Violent) im guessing when what your asking is too much for her. We all act badly when we r stressed. Im a yeller when ive reached my limit.. What do you do? Remember; u and i are adults with the ability to reason, we have perspective, we have higher frustration levels. Your DD is how old? She doesnt have skills- but she has emotions! If she does have pdd then remember she is chronologically younger then she is.. So set your expectations for her behavior accordingly. She sounds super smart- and whenever there is a disconnect between cognitive and emotional there is a disorder... Cut your dd some slack.. When she is upset, empathize, respect her, tell her what she can do. Dont tell her no without a reason to back it up. Set expectations for her that she can meet. Tell her stories of what you want to see her do... I use to tell my son social stories st night like bedtime stories that would help him thru his day... About waiting patiently on a line at the bank cause he would need to do that , what he could do while waiting, how he should act at a place we were having lunch. Make teaching her what you want from her fun.
SamMom912
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2013 at 6:26 PM
6 moms liked this
I also suggest you read ross greenes explosive child. Then share the first 2 chapters with your family so your on the same page.
x_Starr_x
by on May. 22, 2013 at 6:26 PM
1 mom liked this
My son started at 2 to 3 finally was diagnosed with ADHD ODD EBD AND SCHYZOPHRINIA
SamMom912
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2013 at 6:35 PM
Im sorry. That must b so incredibly hard. I cant imagine how difficult he must have been. Hiw old is he niw? How is he doing?

My guy is 6 dxd with Aspie, anxiety and spd.




Quoting x_Starr_x:

My son started at 2 to 3 finally was diagnosed with ADHD ODD EBD AND SCHYZOPHRINIA


briellesmomma
by on May. 22, 2013 at 6:42 PM

Yeah its not really a quiet environment so that makes sense. And I remember her OT saying something like that as well. Thank you.

Quoting PurpleCupcake:

I believe you! :)

I am wondering what her environment is like. 

Some kids with special needs will react inappropriately if their environment is over stimulating. It is like a sensory over load.

Is the environment very neat, no clutter...really simple decor, neutral colors?

Is there a lot if noise? Lot if people talking? Tv? Music?

Also, sounds like she may have trouble communicating feelings...So she just reacts violently. 

Good luck!





briellesmomma
by on May. 22, 2013 at 6:44 PM

Shes 2. And I do that within her limit. I know right now it is a lot she can not comprehend. She will be 3 in October. Its like she doesnt process much of anything that has anything to do with authority. She was playing with my neighbor's daughter yesterday and out of nowhere just slapped her across the face. TOTALLY unprovoked. Stuff like that is why I am worried and not sure its PDD.

Quoting SamMom912:

Your DD is conveying lots of information to you. Listen to her. Talk to her. When does she act out? (Violent) im guessing when what your asking is too much for her. We all act badly when we r stressed. Im a yeller when ive reached my limit.. What do you do? Remember; u and i are adults with the ability to reason, we have perspective, we have higher frustration levels. Your DD is how old? She doesnt have skills- but she has emotions! If she does have pdd then remember she is chronologically younger then she is.. So set your expectations for her behavior accordingly. She sounds super smart- and whenever there is a disconnect between cognitive and emotional there is a disorder... Cut your dd some slack.. When she is upset, empathize, respect her, tell her what she can do. Dont tell her no without a reason to back it up. Set expectations for her that she can meet. Tell her stories of what you want to see her do... I use to tell my son social stories st night like bedtime stories that would help him thru his day... About waiting patiently on a line at the bank cause he would need to do that , what he could do while waiting, how he should act at a place we were having lunch. Make teaching her what you want from her fun.





briellesmomma
by on May. 22, 2013 at 6:50 PM


Quoting x_Starr_x:

My son started at 2 to 3 finally was diagnosed with ADHD ODD EBD AND SCHYZOPHRINIA

Wow! That is quite a lot to deal with! How old is he now?




x_Starr_x
by on May. 22, 2013 at 6:52 PM
Hes about to be 11 its been a nightmare but hes come along way when he was 5 and met my now husband the first thing out of his mouth was" I want a fucking chicken bisquet bitch " he use 6o tear my house apart. It was so bad I had to get on meds to not go nutty.

Quoting SamMom912:

Im sorry. That must b so incredibly hard. I cant imagine how difficult he must have been. Hiw old is he niw? How is he doing?



My guy is 6 dxd with Aspie, anxiety and spd.








Quoting x_Starr_x:

My son started at 2 to 3 finally was diagnosed with ADHD ODD EBD AND SCHYZOPHRINIA



x_Starr_x
by on May. 22, 2013 at 6:53 PM
About to be 11

Quoting briellesmomma:


Quoting x_Starr_x:

My son started at 2 to 3 finally was diagnosed with ADHD ODD EBD AND SCHYZOPHRINIA

Wow! That is quite a lot to deal with! How old is he now?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN