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I am the mom...(LONG, but raw, honest, & personal)

Posted by on May. 31, 2013 at 8:49 PM
  • 15 Replies
5 moms liked this

I am the mom...

I am Darby....mom to Brady...mom to a perfect little boy who is medically fragile with multiple disabilities...mom to a little boy who is 4.5 years old but functions at the level of a 13 month old.  

I am the mom that spoils her child rotten.  I am the mom who will buy him whatever he will truly enjoy as he doesn't play with most toys...he's very particular.  I am the mom who who will go out and purchase more than one just so we have a back up in case something happens to it.  

I'm the mom who gives her child a huge birthday party even though he truly has no idea what is going on around him.  I am the mom who takes her child to Target just so she can get him to eat.  I am the mom who goes to Target/Walmart/Food Lion/Commissary multiple times each week just to buy all the Gerber Sweet Potatoes/Turkey baby food as that is all her child will eat.  I am the mom who frequently forgets to feed her husband as her mind is so focused on feeding her child.  

I am the mom that makes a detailed meal plan for the week along with a corresponding grocery list, but manages to leave the list at home almost every time.  I'm the mom with the child that immediately squeals and screams loudly with delight and excitement when they walk into a store as bright lights, colors and open spaces excite him to the point that he tends to lose control of himself.  I am the mom who doesn't care if you stare at her child as he is THE cutest little boy on the planet, and she is extremely proud of him.

I'm the mom who does what works for HER child, and she could care in the least what you do with yours.  I'm the mom that fed her child breastmilk & formula, swaddled him, gave him pacifiers, and put him in cloth & disposable diapers.  I'm the mom who does not believe there is only one way to raise a child.  I'm the mom whose main priority is to raise a child to love Jesus and to love others.  

I'm the mom who knows it's not her kid's job to make her look good.  I'm the mom who is walking down the aisle at Target while feeding her almost 5 year old baby food.  I'm the mom who is well aware of the shocked look on your face as you stare at her child wondering why on the earth is a child that old is being spoon fed baby food by his mother.  I'm the mom who longs for the day when her child can orally consume enough calories and fluid so that she doesn't have to rely on his feeding tube to keep him healthy and alive.  I'm the mom who doesn't care if you stare in horror as her child is having a meltdown.  I'm the mom who doesn't care if you look at her child in shock as you see him with a blanket & pacifier after asking me how old he is.  I'm the mom who will not explain her child to you if you ask, "What's wrong with him?"  I'm the mom who will answer your questions about her child as long as you are respectful and genuine in your intentions.  

I'm the mom who is very involved her child's school, therapy, and activities.  I'm the mom who serves on the PTA board at her child's special education school.  I'm the mom who runs out to get supplies for her child's class the very day his teacher sends home a list of items needed.  I'm the mom who fights very hard for her child.  I'm the mom who will not let anyone mistreat her child & there's nothing that will stop this mom from advocating for her child with all she has in her.

I'm the mom who wears jeans, tee-shirts, flip flops or sneakers to every place she get away with it.  I'm the mom who does her own manicures & pedicures.  I'm the mom who struggles to fit in at times...more so than most may think.  I'm the mom who is overweight but calls herself a runner...well, because she is a runner...she just doesn't look like a runner.  I'm the mom who runs for her little boy because she wants him to run one day.  

I'm the mom with a not so pretty past.  I'm the mom who grew up in a loving Christian home, but went in her own direction for a few years.  I'm the mom who has been judged for getting married so young and not graduating from college.  I'm the mom who used to smoke cigarettes and swear like a sailor.  I'm the mom who loses her patience more often than most people may think.  I'm the mom who cries at the drop of a hat when it comes to her son.    I'm the mom who loves Jesus with all her heart, but goes weeks at a time without reading her bible.  I'm the mom who prays daily, just that she will get through the day.  I'm the mom, that by the end of the day, just wants to sit on the couch with her husband & watch TV rather than opening up her bible to study God's word.  

I'm the mom with two or three very close friends and bunch of acquaintances.  I'm the mom whose best friend in the world lives in another state, and even though they don't talk near enough, they are two peas in a pod, always knowing that they are there for each other no matter what.  She knows who she is.  I'm the mom who is cautious of other moms as there is so much competition out there related to children and husbands.  I'm the mom who enjoys sitting at the coffee shop with a good book, going for a long run, going shopping, and just being myself.  I'm the mom who is comforted by the Lord when her close friends understand her...without her having to explain.

I'm the mom whose husband is also a Christian & loves the Lord with all his heart.  I'm the mom who wants to spend every waking second with her family on the weekend, and the last thing she wants to do on Sunday morning is to put her child in a daycare type environment just for him to scream and cry the entire time.  I'm the mom that many have judged for not going to church, but she has made her peace with that.  I'm the mom that lives for the Lord and not for others.  I'm the mom who isn't perfect, but tries her best to do as the Lord would have her do.

I'm the mom who is just plain exhausted by the end of the day that she looks at the clock multiple times as she counts down until her child's bedtime.  I'm the mom who looks forward to that glass of wine after a long day at the hospital where she hears all about what is wrong with her child.  I'm the mom who has to take breaks from Facebook every once in a while as she feels like she will never measure up or be like other moms.  I'm the mom who, for the most part, is okay with that.  

I'm the mom who has different goals and dreams for her child.  I'm the mom who doesn't care if her child goes to college or becomes successful by society's standards.  I'm the mom who doesn't care about having grandchildren one day.  I'm the mom who doesn't long for the day when my child is out of the house & she's living the retired life with her husband.  I'm the mom who just wants to outlive her child.  I'm the mom who doesn't want to watch her child suffer and die from Cystic Fibrosis.  I'm the mom who doesn't want to bury her child.  

This is the kind of mom I am.
by on May. 31, 2013 at 8:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SamMom912
by Silver Member on May. 31, 2013 at 9:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Darby, 

you are an amazing mom. A brave, wonderful, thoughtful woman. brady is a very lucky boy to have you... And i had to giggle when you said you lose your patience, or that at points n your life, you swore like a sailor... Good to read youre human... And a lot of what you wrote I can relate to. 

i am also hoping your the mom whos house isnt clean, who would rather sit and watch brady giggle and smile then unload the dishwasher... The kind of mom who has a good perspective... 

I wish you were closer.  We would make good gym buddies. 

Im sending you a huge hug across the country! 

DragonInfinity
by on May. 31, 2013 at 9:18 PM
That was very long to read and sometimes hard to understand. But it brought tears to my eyes a couple of times and made me smile as well. You are one momma that is a force to be reckoned with! ***Hugs for you and your precious child*** ***Prayers for your family too*** I wish I could personally give you a hug and your child. As well as shake your hand!

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safety in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming, "WOO HOO, what a ride!!!"

darbyakeep45
by Darby on May. 31, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Thanks mama!  Hugs to you as well:)

Quoting DragonInfinity:

That was very long to read and sometimes hard to understand. But it brought tears to my eyes a couple of times and made me smile as well. You are one momma that is a force to be reckoned with! ***Hugs for you and your precious child*** ***Prayers for your family too*** I wish I could personally give you a hug and your child. As well as shake your hand!


golfqueen123
by Silver Member on May. 31, 2013 at 10:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Love it, you are amazing! Love the honesty, liked the comment about facebook everybody is the perfect mom and have the the most perfect kids all the time! 

Linagma03
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2013 at 10:30 PM

That was really nice. I enjoyed it.

  • My 2nd time around. I LOVE EVERY MINUTE!!!
  •           boy n girlblowing bubbles
  • Ronny              Asa                     Lina 
mandee1503
by Amanda on Jun. 1, 2013 at 12:58 AM

*hugs* love you hon. 

confused632
by on Jun. 1, 2013 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

You are a wonderful mother.  Made me cry.  I can relate to the feeding...I have a 4 year old daughter who doesn't eat anything but baby food and get lots of stares, but hey at least she is eating! 

HUGS!!!!


arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Jun. 1, 2013 at 12:43 PM
I love you. I can relate in so many ways. You have a lot more to deal with than I could imagine.
Elyssa414
by Elyssa on Jun. 1, 2013 at 1:14 PM
Beautiful.
mlogsdon
by on Jun. 1, 2013 at 1:20 PM
1 mom liked this
You are also the type of mom thats a perfect match for the son you have. I just keep in mind God picked us for a reason. He knows what we can handle even if we don't. Thank you for sharing :-)
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