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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Babysitter problem

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 8:24 AM
  • 35 Replies

I really like my sitter that ive hired for the summer. She is super smart.. In her second year at a major college in our area. Studying education with special needs. She was adhd as a kid,,, so has a lot of compassion. She is also super geeky... Which i love thatbshe knows pokemon, and other video games. She dressed as pic-a-chu for halloween party and has acually arrived at my house wearing the same tshirt as my 6 yearvold son (both had on flash tshirts... Lol).

But last night she came to sit.. And started talking about Sam, his issues, (aspie, anxiety) right in front of him to me.He is almost 7, he is super smart and perceptive. I tried ti shush her, but she wasnt oicking up on it.. (She was pretyy involved in her discussion about Sam) until finally I had to tell her to please, stop talking.... That we would talk about it another time... I was short... And a little curt... And right after that I had to head out or I would have missed my appointment. 

Do you think I should send her an email today? 

I dont want her talking in front of him... He doesnt know... He is getting to an age where he is going to start to notice he is different... And I havent yet approached the topic. 


by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 8:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SamMom912
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2013 at 8:25 AM

Fyi.. Hubby got home before me, so i havent seen her. 

Mabuka
by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 8:30 AM
1 mom liked this
I would have immediately asked her to save the discussion for another time. Like looked at the clock, interrupted her, and been like, 'Oh geez! I'm going to be late! We'll talk later.' and scooted out the door. Then you could address the matter later. Just simply ask her to not discuss it in front of your son. I'm sure she'll understand.
SamMom912
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2013 at 9:14 AM

 

There is part of me that is bothered by her even thinking she could talk in front of him. She wants me to hire her friend for days she cant make it babysitting.... and her comment was "I told her (meaning the friend) about Sams whole Asperger thing... and she is ok with it."...
Its ALL sitting so wrong with me. The way the whole thing went down. I dont want to lose a sitter.. a good sitter... but this is under my skin... and I dont "really" know why.

Quoting Mabuka:

I would have immediately asked her to save the discussion for another time. Like looked at the clock, interrupted her, and been like, 'Oh geez! I'm going to be late! We'll talk later.' and scooted out the door. Then you could address the matter later. Just simply ask her to not discuss it in front of your son. I'm sure she'll understand.


 

mlogsdon
by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 9:26 AM
1 mom liked this
Just talk with her, let her know you aren't comfortable with discussing your son with him right there. Also, maybe next time she has a sitter suggestion, leave it to you to explain. That's not really her place.

Quoting SamMom912:

 


There is part of me that is bothered by her even thinking she could talk in front of him. She wants me to hire her friend for days she cant make it babysitting.... and her comment was "I told her (meaning the friend) about Sams whole Asperger thing... and she is ok with it."...
Its ALL sitting so wrong with me. The way the whole thing went down. I dont want to lose a sitter.. a good sitter... but this is under my skin... and I dont "really" know why.


Quoting Mabuka:

I would have immediately asked her to save the discussion for another time. Like looked at the clock, interrupted her, and been like, 'Oh geez! I'm going to be late! We'll talk later.' and scooted out the door. Then you could address the matter later. Just simply ask her to not discuss it in front of your son. I'm sure she'll understand.



 

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jjamom
by Michele on Jun. 4, 2013 at 9:57 AM
1 mom liked this
I would definitely either email or give her a call. I'm sure she didn't realize what she was doing and she is still learning the ropes at this point. She probably simply didn't realize. Is it possible she doesn't know that Sam doesn't know that he has asperger's? I honestly would just be honest with her and clear the air. It sounds like she connects with Sam, which is awesome. I bet she is more than willing to work with you to work out kinks like this. Good luck!
DDDaysh
by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 10:35 AM
3 moms liked this

 Hmmm, maybe she didn't realize he didn't know. 

I've never held back DS's dx's from him and I don't know anyone IRL who has.  With my IRL friends, alot of our kids have issues, and they all know what they are and what it means and how they have to learn to compensate both for their own issues and issues their friends may have.  It's worked well for us.  I know different people have different theories on this, so I'm not trying to say you're wrong, but I do know that since my child has always been raised in a way where we face all the issues head on that he wouldn't think to NOT discuss it because he'd have no reason to believe the issue was taboo. 

I think you need to sit down and have a discussion with her about how you want to approach the issue with your son and which things you're not comfortable with him hearing. 

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2013 at 11:41 AM
He knows he learns different then ither kids. He knows he has other challenges. Since ive never fully embraced the dx i havent shared it. He is only 6.. I figured i had a little time.. Lol


Quoting DDDaysh:

 Hmmm, maybe she didn't realize he didn't know. 


I've never held back DS's dx's from him and I don't know anyone IRL who has.  With my IRL friends, alot of our kids have issues, and they all know what they are and what it means and how they have to learn to compensate both for their own issues and issues their friends may have.  It's worked well for us.  I know different people have different theories on this, so I'm not trying to say you're wrong, but I do know that since my child has always been raised in a way where we face all the issues head on that he wouldn't think to NOT discuss it because he'd have no reason to believe the issue was taboo. 


I think you need to sit down and have a discussion with her about how you want to approach the issue with your son and which things you're not comfortable with him hearing. 


natesmom1228
by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 12:39 PM
1 mom liked this

 

 

Quoting DDDaysh:

 Hmmm, maybe she didn't realize he didn't know. 

I've never held back DS's dx's from him and I don't know anyone IRL who has.  With my IRL friends, alot of our kids have issues, and they all know what they are and what it means and how they have to learn to compensate both for their own issues and issues their friends may have.  It's worked well for us.  I know different people have different theories on this, so I'm not trying to say you're wrong, but I do know that since my child has always been raised in a way where we face all the issues head on that he wouldn't think to NOT discuss it because he'd have no reason to believe the issue was taboo. 

I think you need to sit down and have a discussion with her about how you want to approach the issue with your son and which things you're not comfortable with him hearing. 

I feel the same way as you. I have never talked about my son's issues behind his back. We are very open and honest about what is going on with him.

 

MrsImperfect
by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 12:43 PM
Sounds to me she just doesn't understand not to do that. Tell her and if it happens again then take action.
DDDaysh
by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 12:45 PM

 

Quoting natesmom1228:

 

 

Quoting DDDaysh:

 Hmmm, maybe she didn't realize he didn't know. 

(trimmed post)

I feel the same way as you. I have never talked about my son's issues behind his back. We are very open and honest about what is going on with him.

 

 Well, not everyone feels that way, and I get that.  But I think there's a good chance the sitter here just didn't know.  It can probably be solved pretty easily with a conversation. 

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