Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

My 7 Year Old is Too Out of Control for Therapy???

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 7:21 PM
  • 6 Replies
1 mom liked this
My 7 year old sees a therapist once a week abd psychiatrist about every 2 months. Today sge saw both.

It was revealed to me today that both believe she should be taken out of therapy and referred to the Community Action Team which from my limited understanding of the program is meant for severely emotionally disturbed children. It would consist of a new therapist who she would see in the home/at school 3 times a week as well as a mentor and case manager.

My daughter has issues, yes, but according to what Im finding on google its basically a last step before a long term treatment facility. Idk why but this really aggravates me. She really.is not that bad overall. She just has her moments.

Her current diagnosis' are ADHD, DMDD, and Anxiety. For 5 1/2 years I was told she was on the autism spectrum. Her diagnosis changed last month after her newest psychological evaluation.

I can give more details (and fix.spelling errors) when I am not mobile.

Idk i guess I am just venting. I dont understand why they think shes bad enough to need such extreme therapies...
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 7:21 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
kajira
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 7:43 PM

How did she lose her autism diagnoses? Have they ruled out a psychotic behavior diagnoses? My son is 9 and has come very close to ending up in a residential treatment faciltiy for dangerous, reckless behavior. He's got a mild autism diagnoses, a mood disorder, and a psychotic disorder.

We see a team of nurses, psyciatrists, regular doctors, and a family couselor who does our treatment plan stuff with us. right now - talk therapy won't work for him as he won't participate and it doesn't sink in - so we do a lot of postitive behavioral modification stuff, plus medication, but his chemicals are a constantly moving target. We get the psychotic disorder stuff under control, and still need to get his manic behavior/mood swings under control. He's also paranoid but not in a traditional anxiety sense - he's actually paranoid, like thinking people are stalking and out to get him... and his stuff is more of a mood swing thing. Like he'll wake up happy one day and be a great kid, then the next day for no reason, wake up hating everyone and wanting everyone to go away or get hurt.

We have had it recommended a long-term live-in facility for him, but statistically, if they go in this young, they have a super hard time transitioning back out to regular society. Our current team of doctors feels acceptable with him living at home as long as we are comfortable having him here. We have to take a lot of precautions for safety though. So, I do understand how hard it can be with a mentally disturbed/ill child... especially if it's often chemical and brain wiring and not anything you can fix from talk-therapy or working it out because it's just a misunderstanding between parent/child kind of a deal.

I don't feel my son is that bad in the bigger picture, but I forget how dangerous he *could* be if we weren't so careful with him - left to his own devices he'll break stuff, steal, lie, damage property, break into other people's property, and hurt others and himself with self destructive behaviors. We've really had to make sure he's properly supervised at all times - if we didn't have a home life where it was mostly a 2 parent family being home during waking hours, we might not be able to supervise him as well as he needed to be safe.

It works because he's not given the opportunity to screw up. We go over the top praising and rewarding good behavior when it's done with out prompting or reminders. 

All I can suggest is find others who parent kids like yours. It's a totally different ball game then even just an autistic kid, or a kid who's had trauma because while the behaviors can be similar, the reason's are totally different and not all techniques, talking, or therapies work.

Think of it this way, if your daughter has the potential to be dangerous, even as a young kid, they will want to intervene as much as possible *before* someone gets hurt, or she does something illegal - even on accident - it's also to protect your family. If you have as much intervention, and services being used as possible, and it comes down to it not making a difference, and you have to make the decision for an inpatient stay  you know you had every other option exhausted and tried your best to help with what you could do day to day with what was available to you..... (day-treatment programs are an option too and I would move our family to do that for our son long-term before I would probabyl have him in a live-in facility long-term though.) 


All I can say is you know your daughter best. You also know what she's really like under all those behavioral issues, and how living with her mental health issues effects you. I would make decisions based on what you think you are actually capable of coping wiht - while listening to the unbiased opinion of how serious her issues are according to the professionals. They are giving you their advice, unless she does something that gets the court's and social workers involved, you get to make final decisions on her care... so they can give advice, but you don't have to always take it the way they suggest.

I take all advice my doctors and care team give me into consideration, then adapt their suggestions, or ideas in ways that I think will work for our family and in the best interest of our son and everyone else invovled - I don't nessecarily jump to the worse case scenario, but try to be realistic in dealing with issues - I live with my son, and I love him and sometimes I don't acknowledge how scary or dangerous he has the potential to be, because he's my little boy.  the doctors want to make sure you have all the "facts" and aren't in denial about potential risks.

Validate their feelings, acknowledge them, and then logically explain why you make the decisions you do and they'll generally find a middle ground to meet you half way. That's what works for us when it comes to our team of doctors and care staff that are involved with our life.

I dislike our case manager... but I like the nurses and doctors we work with. I won't like everyone we work with and they may not always like us either... but they are trying to do a job. You can always seek out a second opinion... 

kajira
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 7:54 PM

Also - if you ever want to talk, my inbox is open. I've dealt with all sorts of crazy behavioral issuesi n my son while we sorted out what was really going on under neath his symptoms. It's still a long-term work in progress.


mom2many747
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:41 PM

Thank you. I'm quoting this message but responding mostly to the other. 

After my daughter's psychological evaluation in May, the psychologist determined she no longer fit the criteria for Autism. He gave the new diagnosis' instead. I plan on getting a second opinion because the DMDD in particular is not something I agree with. It only made it into the DSM-V after a LOT of controversy. 

After being hospitalized twice in January, the psychiatrist at the hospital said my daughter had Psychosis. The psychologist also said that wasn't the case. 

I guess logically I know that my daughters behavior can be dangerous at times. The second time she was hospitalized in January was because she held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill herself. When I tried to take the knife she thrust it at me like she was trying to stab me. The thing is, she hasn't been that bad lately. She's only been restrained at home once since February and that was 2 weeks ago at the therapists office. She did have many incidents the last month and a half of school but I think that was mainly because she knew there was a major change coming up and she doesn't do well with change. 

Recently I brought to her therapists attention that my daughters lack of impulse control has led to my 5 year old getting hurt. She's not hurting her on purpose but in the last month there has been bruises on her neck, a black eye, and a few stitches on her finger. I know that sounds horrible but none of the incidents were my 7 year old TRYING to hurt my 5 year old. They were more like my 7 year old acting impulsively which led to my 5 year old getting hurt. 

Overall my daughter is a very sweet girl. She always feels horrible after an outburst or incident and will cry and apologize repeatedly. 

I guess the main thing that bother's me is that her therapist can't explain to me why she feels like the added services are necessary. I want to do what's best for my daughter but I also have to do what's best for the rest of the family. 

Right now I have my 5 and 7 year olds who both have a speech and language pathologist come to the house twice a week. They both also have an occupational therapist come twice a week. Then my 7 year old has her outside therapy once a week and the psychiatrist every 4 weeks. Now my 1 year old may need services because he's delayed in his social/emotional skills and is a bit behind in his fine motor skills. I feel like that's a lot to deal with. If we add a therapist coming to the house 3 times a week, a mentor once a week, and a case manager once every other week...well, I feel like I leave no time for anyone other than therapy.

I hope it doesn't come off as selfish that I'm taking how everyone else will feel about the added company every week. I know that my top priority should be my 7 year old and usually it is but right now I guess I'm just having a hard time seeing the added services as necessary. I'm a mom of 4 and pregnant with my fifth. I just feel like it is so overwhelming, you know? 

Quoting kajira:

Also - if you ever want to talk, my inbox is open. I've dealt with all sorts of crazy behavioral issuesi n my son while we sorted out what was really going on under neath his symptoms. It's still a long-term work in progress.



kajira
by Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:18 AM
I do understand, I'm going to send you a pm to share some of the things we went through with our son, and after a lot of talking to get to some of the root causes with our son from his own point of view. It may not be at all what your daughter is going through, but If you feel the second psychologist is not accurate, I would disregard them. If a hospital said your daughter has states and periods of psychosis, I would go down that path to problem solve. There are more options and treatments for say psychotic disorders and mood disorders like bipolar - including helping them learn to realize and ask for help when they aren't thinking clearly. Learning to identify, along with DBT therapy can be really helpful in learning to control and manage symptoms... you need a different approach based on the symptoms, so that label from a psychologist who threw out the autism label AND disregarded the psychosis label the hospital gave her would make me suspicious of their evaluations. Schizophrenia for example often in children can look similar to autism - the main difference is psychotic behaviors and thought processes though... You can also have more than one disorder - if someone's mildly autistic, but has bipolar with a psychotic episode occasionally - that can cause all sorts of problems - and be hard to diagnose, treat, OR understand, because it's a multi-layer process of figuring out what's going on.
Quoting mom2many747:

Thank you. I'm quoting this message but responding mostly to the other. 

After my daughter's psychological evaluation in May, the psychologist determined she no longer fit the criteria for Autism. He gave the new diagnosis' instead. I plan on getting a second opinion because the DMDD in particular is not something I agree with. It only made it into the DSM-V after a LOT of controversy. 

After being hospitalized twice in January, the psychiatrist at the hospital said my daughter had Psychosis. The psychologist also said that wasn't the case. 

I guess logically I know that my daughters behavior can be dangerous at times. The second time she was hospitalized in January was because she held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill herself. When I tried to take the knife she thrust it at me like she was trying to stab me. The thing is, she hasn't been that bad lately. She's only been restrained at home once since February and that was 2 weeks ago at the therapists office. She did have many incidents the last month and a half of school but I think that was mainly because she knew there was a major change coming up and she doesn't do well with change. 

Recently I brought to her therapists attention that my daughters lack of impulse control has led to my 5 year old getting hurt. She's not hurting her on purpose but in the last month there has been bruises on her neck, a black eye, and a few stitches on her finger. I know that sounds horrible but none of the incidents were my 7 year old TRYING to hurt my 5 year old. They were more like my 7 year old acting impulsively which led to my 5 year old getting hurt. 

Overall my daughter is a very sweet girl. She always feels horrible after an outburst or incident and will cry and apologize repeatedly. 

I guess the main thing that bother's me is that her therapist can't explain to me why she feels like the added services are necessary. I want to do what's best for my daughter but I also have to do what's best for the rest of the family. 

Right now I have my 5 and 7 year olds who both have a speech and language pathologist come to the house twice a week. They both also have an occupational therapist come twice a week. Then my 7 year old has her outside therapy once a week and the psychiatrist every 4 weeks. Now my 1 year old may need services because he's delayed in his social/emotional skills and is a bit behind in his fine motor skills. I feel like that's a lot to deal with. If we add a therapist coming to the house 3 times a week, a mentor once a week, and a case manager once every other week...well, I feel like I leave no time for anyone other than therapy.

I hope it doesn't come off as selfish that I'm taking how everyone else will feel about the added company every week. I know that my top priority should be my 7 year old and usually it is but right now I guess I'm just having a hard time seeing the added services as necessary. I'm a mom of 4 and pregnant with my fifth. I just feel like it is so overwhelming, you know? 

Quoting kajira:

Also - if you ever want to talk, my inbox is open. I've dealt with all sorts of crazy behavioral issuesi n my son while we sorted out what was really going on under neath his symptoms. It's still a long-term work in progress.



Living with Autism - The quirky kitty.

Our autistic Family - A Dad's point of view on living with Autism

singlemomfour
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 7:41 AM
Hi I also have a son with adhd and the doctor sent him to a therapy I just started going but I don't know other people look at me like if I am crazy ? He just has a bad behavior problems I've tried everything time out , parenting class , nothing worked ... he is just so active right now its 4:38 am he still awake ... I also need advice my daughter has adhd she's 5 y old I am so tired ... keep strong I am half awake half asleep ill come back later today just wanted to say god bless you with strength ...
letstalk747
by Joy on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:33 PM

it can get more extreme than  this , i know this is hard and rough and upsetting-i been there ,- just my  opinion from expierence i would do their suggestions-there is no reason not too- in doing those theripies and Action Team help can really HELP , AND PLEASE DONT LET YOURSELF GET ALL CRAZY THINKING ABOUT''long term treatment facility'' thats NOT how it is , ok let that thought go it will only mess you up , like kajira said above it is most likely that.

 keep us posted , ok , such extreme theripies really arent that extreme , just more often , more focused , more behavioral treatment-they are ok

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN