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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Giving toys away

Posted by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 11:13 AM
  • 12 Replies

We went to a birthday party on Saturday for 2 little boys...brothers...they were turning 1 and 3.  They are good friends of ours, and we've known them for several years.  Brady was playing on the floor with all the other little kids with all the toys, and he was doing so well...I was so proud!  He found a toy truck that he LOVED.  He was really into this truck and carried it around with him during the entire party.  They have 2 of these trucks.  The dad of the 2 boys was delighted that Brady liked this truck...he told us to take the truck home and that Brady could have it.  I said, no that wasn't necessary and we wouldn't take his kids' toy!  The afternoon went on and Brady still held this truck the entire time.  We got ready to leave and I took the truck from Brady and put it back inside...well, he made his way back inside and got the truck again!  Little stinker!  The dad saw us and said for us to take the truck...I ended up telling him we'd take the truck home with us that day, but that I would definitely return it!

Well, Brady played with that truck all weekend and loved it!  I posted a photo of him with it on FB and tagged both the mom and dad in the photo.  The mom messaged me asking me to take the photo down b/c that truck was a gift (from a while ago) from her parents, and she didn't want them to see that her husband gave it away to Brady.  She also asked me for the truck back...in not so many words.  

I was really caught off guard, as I never intended to keep the truck but I couldn't believe she actually messaged me asking for the truck back.  For goodness sake, it's a TOY!!!  Who cares?  I was just really surprised as I would have never reacted that way if I were in her shoes.  I probably would have chewed my husband out for giving something away without talking to me first, but I surely wouldn't ask the other parent for the toy back.  I would have my husband replace the toy since he was the one who gave it away.  I don't think she realized that I had no intention of actually keeping the truck, but to bring it up to me and ask for it back was just surprising...

Anyways...what would you have done if your husband did that?

by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 11:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sadiebug1228
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM
Wow see I wouldn't have cared I give my friends kids my kids toys all the time. They trade all the time too. That's weird that she reacted that way.
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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 2, 2013 at 11:57 AM

I do the same thing...I was hoping I wasn't alone on that one!  LOL!  It's just a toy...I don't care that much to be honest.  If a child comes to my house and is in love with a toy of Brady's, then we switch...he can learn to share:)  But, then again, if it was a toy that he LOVED, then I might feel a little different depending on whether I could replace it or not.  Regardless, if my husband gave it away without me knowing, I would never ask the parent for it back...I would chew my husband out and go buy another one!

Quoting sadiebug1228:

Wow see I wouldn't have cared I give my friends kids my kids toys all the time. They trade all the time too. That's weird that she reacted that way.


mandee1503
by Amanda on Jul. 2, 2013 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this
She over reacted. And I probably would have said something very rude back to her because I'd be irked by her message.
jjamom
by Michele on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:13 PM
I agree with you. If the husband gave it to you, it really is yours to keep, even if you had every intention to return it and her replying the way she did was wrong. Her issue should be with her husband. But, who knows, maybe she read him the riot act too, lol.

We have done the same thing when we've had little visitors and have also been told the same thing, although we have never actually taken the toy because I wanted to make sure my kids didn't think they could always just take home whatever toy they liked from anyone else's house, lol, besides the fact that we are inundated with toys as it is!

But yeah, that would irk me too!
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Your 2nd paragraph is right on. This is the first time this has happened and I wasn't sure how to react but I want Brady to learn boundaries and to learn he can't have everything he wants:) Thanks!

Quoting jjamom:

I agree with you. If the husband gave it to you, it really is yours to keep, even if you had every intention to return it and her replying the way she did was wrong. Her issue should be with her husband. But, who knows, maybe she read him the riot act too, lol.



We have done the same thing when we've had little visitors and have also been told the same thing, although we have never actually taken the toy because I wanted to make sure my kids didn't think they could always just take home whatever toy they liked from anyone else's house, lol, besides the fact that we are inundated with toys as it is!



But yeah, that would irk me too!
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jjamom
by Michele on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:54 PM

Yep, last week when the kids were visiting my parents, my Dad unfortunately, broke his foot and they had to take Alex with them to his orthopedic appt.  Well, my Mom told me that they hadn't realized until later, with checking out and everything, that Alex had taken a book from the waiting room.  My first thought, was 'oh no, all the work I have done to teach him we can't take the books when we leave because they don't belong to us, out the window'!  LOL

Quoting darbyakeep45:

Your 2nd paragraph is right on. This is the first time this has happened and I wasn't sure how to react but I want Brady to learn boundaries and to learn he can't have everything he wants:) Thanks!

Quoting jjamom:

I agree with you. If the husband gave it to you, it really is yours to keep, even if you had every intention to return it and her replying the way she did was wrong. Her issue should be with her husband. But, who knows, maybe she read him the riot act too, lol.



We have done the same thing when we've had little visitors and have also been told the same thing, although we have never actually taken the toy because I wanted to make sure my kids didn't think they could always just take home whatever toy they liked from anyone else's house, lol, besides the fact that we are inundated with toys as it is!



But yeah, that would irk me too!



Elyssa414
by Elyssa on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:33 PM
1 mom liked this
We are constantly exchanging toys with our friends. How strange. Maybe her parents are like freaks about the gifts they give her kids...?
lizard3731
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this
She overreacted. If my dh gave away a toy, I wouldn't care. Was it some special truck that her parents would know was the one they gave their grandchildren? And what are the odds, they'd see the picture? How weird!
Bluecalm
by Silver Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 5:20 PM
1 mom liked this
I feel kinda sorry for her dh! I'd message back and say of course you are returning it, it was just a loaner, you just wanted them to see how much he enjoyed it. I am calling her bad names in my head right now lol.
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mlogsdon
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 11:12 PM

Wow, that's a bit much. Toys are passed back and forth between my friends houses and my house all the time. If i gave someone a toy, and they passed it along, no big deal.... Kids don't play with the same toys forever. AND. If i or my husband gave a toy away, the other wouldnt be so rude as to ask for it back. 

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