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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

very new to all this and need advise.

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 6:56 PM
  • 18 Replies

for the past ill say year ive noticed something difrent with my now 2 year old son, he has yet to say his first word, doesnt point doesnt make eye contact, he doesnt play with others, just alot of little things, at age 18mons i mentioned it to his dr, at the time he had other health issues (we found out he had an eye tumor at that time, and he is also blind in that eye) so it was over looked. he is now being assessed for autism :(  we did the M-CHAT assesment and he scored a 20. i dont know what to expect, his dad and i are devastated, i cry nightly, because i know deep down something isnt right with my baby, but im so scared of whats next. 

by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 6:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Vintagefan
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 7:42 PM
1 mom liked this

You are not alone! Just take a deep breath, nothing is going to change overnight.  You are doing the best you can at such an early stage.  You have been through a lot and you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of your baby. 

mommy9164
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 8:16 PM

do you have any idea what i should expect as far as further testing and such, like whats involved, what actual tests they will give him?

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 8:39 PM
I know how you feel. My oldest is on the spectrum and my other 2 were just tested. The youngest is only 3.
If he is, it'll be ok. A lot of people go thru the same stages as mourning. It's all a normal reaction. In a while you'll settle into the reality of it and get your rythym.
As far as testing, it's easy on the kids. Most of it is play.
cnsmom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 8:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Welcome.  We've all been there, it isn't easy, but it's ok.  It gets normal, just a different kind of normal.  I have a 18 yr old son that was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 3.  Some days were/are hard, but most are good.  We have 2 daughters also, a typical 15 yr old and a 4 yr old with Spina Bifida.

When they tested my son I had to fill out what seemed like a book, all about things that he did and didn't do.  Then I think 3 different dr's went in (1 would go in while the other 2 watched through a window, then they would switch) and talked with and observed him for like 2 hours.  They went over their findings, along with what we had said, and written, and then they gave us the diagnosis.  They had him play with toys,and blocks, and puzzles, and a few other things, and they talked with him (he didn't talk then, and no eye contact either, he talks now though, and has eye contact) if I remember correctly.   I'm sure that someone that has had it done more recently will be able to give updated info.

Sorry that I'm not more helpful.  Just hang in there everything will be all right.  This is a great place for info, and for support from others that understand just what you are going through.    I just wanted to add that my son graduated high school in May, he was an A,B student.  He has lots of friends, and was named  Friendliest out of his senior class.  Things do get normal, it's just a new normal, and it's our normal.

mommy9164
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:00 PM

thank you, and yes it feels as if ive lost my son, knowing that he wont do "normal" things like drive a car, get married live a "normal life" kills me. but hes my baby and i love him. and im so glad to hear the testing process will be like play for him, thats very comforting 



Quoting arkansasmama08:

I know how you feel. My oldest is on the spectrum and my other 2 were just tested. The youngest is only 3.
If he is, it'll be ok. A lot of people go thru the same stages as mourning. It's all a normal reaction. In a while you'll settle into the reality of it and get your rythym.
As far as testing, it's easy on the kids. Most of it is play.



N.Carter2001
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:07 PM

I have a 5 year old son with autism. When he was age 3. He stopped talking. No eye contact, play alone. He not sleep ever. But he always on the move. He will spin but its crawing around and around. He cant walk cause his legs dont work. But thats has nothing to do with autism.  When we got him tested the lady had us fill out paper work. And we mostly talk about how he acts. We had to go up a few times to see her. She also tryed to see if she could get him to look at a book with her, do a puzzle.  He dont like people if he dont know you and he did not sit still. How he acted in preschool. He gets very little therapy and people gave up on working with him. I wont ever give up on him.And he is doing stuff finally. He will do a little eye contact. He is starting to talk. And he will join his friends in class.

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:21 PM
1 mom liked this
He may still do all those things. With such early intervention he may just amaze you :).
My 3 year old said less than 10 words at 2. 2 months later he was talking in complete sentences and hasn't shut up yet ;). It might take longer and a lot more work, but you just never know.


Quoting mommy9164:

thank you, and yes it feels as if ive lost my son, knowing that he wont do "normal" things like drive a car, get married live a "normal life" kills me. but hes my baby and i love him. and im so glad to hear the testing process will be like play for him, thats very comforting 




Quoting arkansasmama08:

I know how you feel. My oldest is on the spectrum and my other 2 were just tested. The youngest is only 3.

If he is, it'll be ok. A lot of people go thru the same stages as mourning. It's all a normal reaction. In a while you'll settle into the reality of it and get your rythym.

As far as testing, it's easy on the kids. Most of it is play.





mlogsdon
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 10:19 PM
Welcome. Many of us have felt that way about our kids, and had bad days. But having this doesn't change who your child is :) they are just as awesome, and amazing, as any other kid. Having special needs doesn't necessarily mean the end of all your hopes and dreams for your baby, they just might change, or take a different path to achieve those goals :)
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dawncs
by Dawn on Jul. 8, 2013 at 10:33 PM

Welcome to the group! It is good that he got identified early because it will help him reach his full potential in life. I recommend contacting your school district for early intervention services (http://www.wrightslaw.com/) for your son. I recommend checking out: http://www.autismspeaks.org/, and http://www.autism-society.org/, http://www.thearc.org/.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

Linagma03
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:55 AM

Welcome to the Group! You are not alone in the feelings. Knowing something isn't right but not knowing what or what to do to help. You are going in the right direction talking to his Doctor and getting him tested. Good Luck Momma!

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