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Does Your Child Adapt Well To Change?

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:09 PM
  • 8 Replies

My son is having issues adapting to the changes here at home.

My 22 year old son moved out last summer, my 19 year old is stationed in Conneticut with the Navy, my husband works out of state 30 days at a time. These are all fairly new changes to our houseshold. So we went from a 5 person household filled with friends, to just my son and I a lot of the times. He is also going to be starting a new school in the fall because it has a program that is better suited for his needs.

He is becoming more combative, stubborn, clingy and even whiny and I think it has to do with all the recent changes in our lifestyle.

How do your children adapt to change? Have you gone through changes in your childs temperment when you have experiences life changes?

by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:09 PM
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by Michele on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:58 PM
I'm sure that must be hard for him. That's a lot if changes within a short period and it has changed the entire family dynamic. :(

My son handles changes well, in general. We will see however, when my DD leaves for college in 2 years. I think that might really throw him for a loop.
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 1:21 PM
Mine seems to go with the flow for the most part. He likes to be busy and noisy, but is ok with just me and him during the day. If DH is away for training for a while, he gets upset. He knows when DH is supposed to come home from work, so when that doesn't happen he's not happy. Usually it's nothing more than being a little more whiny and clingy, lots of snuggle time.
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by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 2:10 PM

Yes we have. I am so sorry that you are going thru this right now. 

Once her Mother decided that she wanted her kids. She just showed up and took Lina away right after she got off the bus from school, yelling at her to get in the car. We didn't see the kids for almost 3 weeks then we were allowed to have Lina on weekends. They lived in a camp trailer with no power, water, or heat for 4 months during one of the worse winters we had in many years. She had several seizures that her Mother didn't take care of but made the oldest dd take care of Lina. She wasn't given her medication on time, she missed a couple of doses at a time, she missed school. After 4 months when the kids came home Lina was so anxious that she had to sleep in bed with me again for about a month then I could get her into her own bed again. She was extremely whinny and clingy, she became scared to go with her Mother anywhere for fear she wasn't coming home. I had to get her back into the routine of school which helped, going back to school everyday getting her medication on time became imperative to her she got obsessed with that, then she became obsessed with everyone in the house that takes medication taking their medication on time too. Everything got better then school was out and she was changing schools that Fall, summer was here, her Great Uncle (my brother-in-laws) moved out to be closer to his job, and another Great Uncle moved in she tried to get close to him but it wasn't the same for her as it had been with the other Uncle, then we were back to that insecurity this time we had to deal with whinny, clingy, anxiety, then she added arguing, annoying her sibs until they were yelling at her, annoying the dog until he would snap at her, getting into things she knew she wasn't supposed to. It was a long summer. Fall came we went back to a fairly rigid routine and within a month she was back to normal. 

Right now I need to get her on a routine again even if it is a loose one that would help with the behavior she is showing right now. We are all having many days where we want to just lock her in a closet. 

All I can suggest is to create a routine that is livable when those people in his life come back to visit. It is going to take some time and patience. Maybe take him to the new school and if possible let him walk around the outside and play on the playground? Can you set up a day & time that he can talk to his brothers & Dad on the phone or video chat?  I take Lina and drive by the school, we haven't been able to walk around the outside or play on the playground yet. What is making this change easier her entire program is moving to this new school, friends, teacher & aides. When I went to see my Mom before she passed Lina had to stay home and so we Skyped every night before she went to bed, DH said it helped alot to get her to sleep thru the night and she only had one night where she woke in the middle of the night crying.

I hope any of this is helpful. 

by Darby on Jul. 9, 2013 at 6:28 PM

Not sure mama...Brady does *fairly* well most of the time, but we don't have any other children and we limit changes if we can:)  Hugs!

by Amanda on Jul. 9, 2013 at 7:06 PM

*hugs* My kids do well. I hope he adjusts soon, so you guys can get back on a schedule.

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by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 10:38 PM

Thanks ladies. This one requires more patience than usual but we'll figure it all out. He is usually so independent that I know all these changes have just thrown him for a loop. 

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:50 AM

We have just moved states Brooke my eighteen year old at first was very combative  but with time she settled down good luck

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 11:47 PM

I think maybe making a special book or photo album with all those people he doesn't see as much, and spending some time every day talking about them, how much they love him, and when he will see them next.  Also, having him put together some sort of correspondence to your sons and husband, so he can share what is happening in his world.  Good luck, those are some big changes.  

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