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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Got ripped to shreds yesterday, but! I have news... *longish*

Posted by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 11:33 AM
  • 20 Replies

ODS was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and I was told he'd need an OT. His behavior specialist said see his pedi for a referral and his pedi said see his behavior specialist for a referral. I've been so frustrated, trying to work with him as much as I can. I can't even get my freaking pediatrician to write a note saying he's sensitive to artificial dyes and needs to eat foods that are dye-free! 

Skip to Kinder starting: He loves class and is head and shoulders above the majority of his classmates academically. (There's one kiddo he says is better/faster at math than he is. lol) HOWEVER, his behavior issues have begun mounting and his outright defiant attitude, his erratic behavior and sleep issues have all gotten worse by the day. Yesterday, he apparently stabbed at a kid with a plastic knife. (I misread the note him which I posted about yesterday- he stabbed AT, not actually stabbed; yes, I'm still aware of how serious this is.) 

So, in my last ditch frustration having gone to several doctors and the other nearest specialist willing to see him being a couple hours away with a waiting list of months (yes, DS is on said waiting list)... I posted to CM hoping to find guidance, an avenue I hadn't persued. His behavior doesn't sound like SPD ONLY. 

I was utterly lamb basted. Raked over hot coals. My precious son, who, apart from unpredictable bouts of impulsive acts like this, is sweet, funny and so, so smart. He loves his baby brother, loves BABIES and says he wants ten when he's a daddy... is beyond gentle with animals and is a cat person, rather than a dog person. They told me my son was a sociopath. Compared him to Hitler. All manner of horrible things... I am terrified that he will have to face these sorts of people every day. 

I finally scared the school system. I went to the head of the department for federal programs and special populations and explained the whole situation. He'll be getting his OT through the school and they're setting him up for an evaluation. I feel like we've had a small victory. 

by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 11:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tinkerspell
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 11:36 AM
What they said about h I would never put my child back in that school again wow
lyranightshade
by Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 11:48 AM


What? No, no.. the school hasn't said anything derrogatory. They weren't exactly jumping to help at first, but.. no. That was CafeMom. That's right. A bunch of mothers sat at their phones and computers calling a five year old they don't know a sociopath, a monster, the next Hitler. 

I wonder how proud THEIR mothers would be of them. 

Quoting tinkerspell:

What they said about h I would never put my child back in that school again wow



lyranightshade
by Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 11:55 AM

Bump!

mlogsdon
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 11:57 AM
2 moms liked this
There are certain groups I don't post in for that exact reason. They are always very brave sitting on the other side of a screen. I bet no one would say what they say in person. Just ignore all of them, and do what you need to do. I'm sorry you're going through all of this :(

Quoting lyranightshade:


What? No, no.. the school hasn't said anything derrogatory. They weren't exactly jumping to help at first, but.. no. That was CafeMom. That's right. A bunch of mothers sat at their phones and computers calling a five year old they don't know a sociopath, a monster, the next Hitler. 

I wonder how proud THEIR mothers would be of them. 


Quoting tinkerspell:

What they said about h I would never put my child back in that school again wow




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:00 PM

The confessions group by chance?  I just can't go in there.  It's a mom eat mom world in that one.  Glad you came to this group.  We all have issues with our kiddos and are understanding of others.  I hope you get some resolution soon.  Sounds like you made a little progress though.   

Quoting lyranightshade:

 

What? No, no.. the school hasn't said anything derrogatory. They weren't exactly jumping to help at first, but.. no. That was CafeMom. That's right. A bunch of mothers sat at their phones and computers calling a five year old they don't know a sociopath, a monster, the next Hitler. 

I wonder how proud THEIR mothers would be of them. 

Quoting tinkerspell:

What they said about h I would never put my child back in that school again wow

 

 

 

lyranightshade
by Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:04 PM


Yup. Before I l eft CM (just so busy between work and two kids and DH's hospital stays, etc etc) I had what I thought was a pretty good support network there. Granted, I rarely talked about my fears and concerns for DS. I felt guilty even thinking that there was something 'wrong' with him.

I was beyond shocked when I got the response I did when all I wanted was some genuine guidance. 

I've worked with adults with delays and disabilities, intellectual/phsyical/behavioral.. But working in the system for minors and ESPECIALLY when that minor is your baby is a completely different world. One in which I was completely lost. 

Thank you so much for understanding AEMW. 

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

The confessions group by chance?  I just can't go in there.  It's a mom eat mom world in that one.  Glad you came to this group.  We all have issues with our kiddos and are understanding of others.  I hope you get some resolution soon.  Sounds like you made a little progress though.   

Quoting lyranightshade:


What? No, no.. the school hasn't said anything derrogatory. They weren't exactly jumping to help at first, but.. no. That was CafeMom. That's right. A bunch of mothers sat at their phones and computers calling a five year old they don't know a sociopath, a monster, the next Hitler. 

I wonder how proud THEIR mothers would be of them. 

Quoting tinkerspell:

What they said about h I would never put my child back in that school again wow



 



ladyraven16
by Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:33 PM
I was on that post yesterday. Those women were nuts and rude as hell. I gave you dome real advice but I think it got lost in the mix.

Anyway, Spd doesn't cause children to be impulsive, ADHD does. My son has Severe combined type ADHD and Spd and trust me the ADHD makes him do things that I can't believe. His is extremely bad but he's never had any violent impulses thankfully lol.

I hope the school can help your boy in school but I seriously doubt OT will stop him from being impulsive, behavioral therapy and meds if he has ADHD bad enough to warrant them are the most helpful things for impulsivity. Like I said yesteerday, if you have a children's hospital near you, you should try to get an eval set up with the child development unit. They will do a 3-5hr evaluation for everything that his syptoms fit and even things that they don't. Good luck!
letstalk747
by Joy on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:48 PM

good for you

kajira
by Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 4:24 PM

I'm so sorry you delt with that. My son had an experience in 2nd grade where he stabbed a kid with a pencil. I ended up having to home school him - my son has more going on than just a mild autism diagnoses. His teacher compared him to being a monster, and she was justifiably right in her concerns, though I dislike how she worded some of it.

My son ended up having a psychotic disorder, and a mood disorder too. He's got some kind of conduct disorder with how everything in his brain manifests, and he requires a lot of daily work. He's academically ahead of his peers and does fine academically, but his mood swings, and his irrational thinking require a lot more intensive care/handling. I love my son very much, but he has the ability to potentially be a danger to himself or others when he's not thinking clearly, or rationally.

We work on self control and communication BEFORE his brain gets to that point. I understand why people would be afraid of your son - I have a son who's made some bad decisions myself, and I love him to pieces and know that he has the ability to be kind, helpful and sweet to others.... but he also needs help to control the bad parts of himself, and it's a work in progress.

All I can say is most people aren't going to understand, and if your son HAS the ability to lash out or be aggressive or violent, they justifiably also have the right to be concerned for other people's safety.

You need a full mental health evaluation, and a system/plan in place for dealing with more dangerous behaviors BEFORE he gets big enough to hurt someone, or even you. Just because your little boy is a sweetheart, doesn't mean he doesn't have the ability, or potential to hurt someone. 

Be realistic, support your son, and make sure you get him the help he, and your family will need as he grows up. Having support in place will prevent problems. 

I don't post on most non special needs parenting groups about my son because it's hard to talk about him with out people responding so negatively, and I know my son has the ability to be a great kid. It's just, I also have to be realistic about the bad parts, and face them head on. Being realistic keeps bad things from happening.

RobinChristine
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 4:53 PM

Mom confessions are a mean group of women for the most part. I am glad the school is willing to help

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