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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

My 18yr old son wants to be my respite care provider for my younger son. What do you think?

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:06 AM
  • 8 Replies

Okay here's the question. My 18yr old wants to be my respite provider for my younger son who is 10yrs. old and blind. He's a very responsible person, but not always the most patient with him. He has taken first responder classes, volunteered since age 13 and know CPR and has his certificate in it. He says he really wants a chance to make some extra money while he's laid off from his forestry job for the winter. 

I had already lined up and given the application to son's retired VI teacher who said she would do it. She's already sent in the application and we are awaiting approval.

I can call the company and tell them I have another person and would like to use both (but it means that I would have to pay the $35. background check on my son)

Things that I am concerned about: he's not the most patient, he might just take the money and expect me to watch him-even though it's to give me a break. Younger son doesn't really want to be around him, cuz it's what the oldest son wants to do, not younger son. 

So now the older son is disappointed in me for not "trusting" him and not giving him a chance to earn some money. So what do you think and what would you do? 

Dammed if I do, Dammed if I don't. 


You don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option.


 

by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:06 AM
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Replies (1-8):
mlogsdon
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:44 AM

I'd say no. Sorry, tough luck for him, but no. 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Sep. 19, 2013 at 6:21 AM
Tough call mama! Hugs!
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jjamom
by Michele on Sep. 19, 2013 at 8:02 AM
I'd have to say 'no', as hard as I am sure that is. If you don't have 100% assurance that the younger son is in capable hands, you will not be able to fully get the respite you deserve.

Maybe explain to your oldest son that you already promised the position to someone else and don't feel you can go back on it now.
arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 8:26 AM
Yeah, I'd say no too. It would be different if you had said he was patient abd understanding and the younger one just loved him and they were best friends. Since that's not the case, I'd leave it with the lady you've already got lined up.
Sorry mama.
Linagma03
by Gold Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 8:52 AM

 Big Hugs! This is a hard one maybe tell him that you could try a couple of times and see how it goes and see if he would really like the responsibility that goes with it. How many hours are they giving you? You would have to be gone for the same amount of time that you would be as if the other person was going to be there to give him a good & honest expiense (?). Tell him that you want to make sure he really understands the job and then you'd talk about it and then both of you could decide if paying the fee is worth it. That is all I can think of.

momof2js946
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:42 AM

I get 16 hrs. a month. I like the idea of giving him a chance with the understanding that if it isn't working I will go with the other lady. The other lady wants me to bring my youngest to her house and I don't think that's allowed. She watches her little grandson at the same time. I just get tired of my hubby supporting my decision and then going back on it to please my oldest. He makes me feel guilty about not giving the oldest a chance. Thanks for the ideas ladies.

You don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option.


 

thatgirl70
by Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:56 AM

I would say no too. Let him do the work with another special needs child. He might be able to learn patience and such better that way.

Pukalani79
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:23 AM

 That would be difficult.  The fact that your younger son does not want to be around the older would make me say "No" though

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