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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

I feel like a horrible mother, all I do is yell. I know it's wrong but I cant seem to stop. I have to tell my boys 20 times to do something, it's driving me nuts. My boys are 6 and 7 and just don't listen...I'm calling the school behaviorist tomorrow, and I'm going to get counseling for myself. I'm also going through menopause which isn't helping! Ughhhh thanks for listening ladies!

by on Oct. 14, 2013 at 11:04 PM
Replies (21-30):
Pukalani79
by on Oct. 17, 2013 at 3:13 PM
1 mom liked this

 Yes, but I'm working on it. 

Hottubgodess
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 12:20 PM
2 moms liked this

I cant yell...my son is a sensory (auditory) defensive.  It hurts him.  With that said - boys have "male pattern hearing...".  They ignore loud.  A few suggestions -

1. Dont yell - say it quietly and have the acknowledge you (repeat it back they understand you....not parrot it).

2. Use hand gestures - My son responds to sign language - he has a processing delay.  I dont have to say a word sometimes.  :)

3. Dont talk to them when they are playing video games.  

4.  Have a talk wiht them about your frustration - they are intellegent human beings and if they are given a chance to be part of the discussion, they may tell you some suggestions to get them to do what you need.

5.  Keep it simple.  Short simple, clear steps.  Maybe even written down or with pictures.

6.  Give a clear warning or heads up a change is coming. 

7.  Tell them how it is "It is rude not to come to the table when I call.  I worked hard on dinner, and that insults me."  


I hope this helps.  

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Member on Oct. 18, 2013 at 2:30 PM
1 mom liked this

First, hugs momma!

Second, I think you are taking all the right steps to address the issue.

I'm not a yeller but I am a popper and they are both equally awful. In fact, I think "popping" "spanking" -- hitting -- is the worst thing in the world. I have to leave my son and "compose" myself. Breathe and come back to the situation.

Although, on a side note, I am loud and my dh says to me all the time "stop yelling" but I swear, I'm just excited. I'm not "yelling" - as in upset and loud. I'm loud and happy, make sense?

But, don't feel too bad.

My mom was a yeller but she was a GREAT mom. The yelling was AWFUL, I won't lie, but her love permeated everything else she did and said. That's how I remember it now, years later. Although as a kid at the time, it was a really big downer.

She felt bad about it too.

Hopefully your behaviorist and counselor/parenting classes can help.

I took a parenting class and it changed my relationship with my kid from sour and angry to sweet and loving.

Good Luck mom!

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Member on Oct. 18, 2013 at 2:30 PM

BTW, thank you for sharing and being brave to share :)

benny1031
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 9:57 PM
I yell at mynson son when he doesn't listen after telling him to stop then he will but I do it more to my husband because he irritates me he will knock my phone out of my hand when I'm texting thenhe will pinch the back of my arm and other irritating things like that. I tell him to stop and he doesn't listen it's like having another child around.
karenl
by Karen on Oct. 18, 2013 at 10:24 PM

(((Hugs)))


Quoting benny1031:

I yell at mynson son when he doesn't listen after telling him to stop then he will but I do it more to my husband because he irritates me he will knock my phone out of my hand when I'm texting thenhe will pinch the back of my arm and other irritating things like that. I tell him to stop and he doesn't listen it's like having another child around.



foreplay
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 10:42 PM

Once in awhile I lose my patience and unload all my anger and frustration at my son with Angelman's syndrome.i almost always feel better.

AllyB_
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 11:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes! I understand how you feel. My twin boys are 4 and everyday is exhausting and my 14 year old has some behavior problems and we fight sometimes. It's such a relief to read through everyones replies, I feel a lot less alone knowing I'm not the only one. Persue counseling, I have been for my family and it's helping a lot. Make sure you are taking time for yourself to relax, that always helps too

Basherte
by Bronze Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 7:22 AM
1 mom liked this
*hugs* I know the feeling. I catch myself yelling, and then stop for a moment or two and let things go. Then go back to the telling over and over again. *hugs* You are not a horrible mother.
CafeMom Tickers
lucasmadre
by on Oct. 19, 2013 at 12:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes I yell, I have a 9 year old and I am also going through menopause so I feel your pain. Hang in there...everyone says it gets better. Once in a while I believe a little yelling is ok, it kind of wakes them up out of their world. But when I find myself yelling too much then I make a promise to stop for a while. No raising my voice no matter what. It helps us both a lot. 

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