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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

I really need to vent

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 10:13 AM
  • 10 Replies
I am getting tired of my mother. My sister's bf left her for another girl in feb. she is now on her own with two kids. One is about to be 7, the other 4. My mother is the type where everyone is a burden on her. She'll barely see my daughter. The only time she really pushes to see Alyssa is when we find out anything that has to do with her medically. And I feel like she does it so she can go to her work friends and get sympathy since my daughter will likely be completely dependent on me for everything. Anyways mom is suppose to watch my sisters kids while she works. She hates watching them. A lot of times she'll cancel the day of, then my sister will have to ask us, and of course I'd never tell her no. I love my niece and nephew. 4 years ago when Alyssa and her son were only a few months old I was watching all 3 kids 4 days a week both my dh and I working. So straight after work babysitting all night. I'd have to have a friend come over to watch Alyssa because my nephew would literally not let me pick up my own child he would scream and cry till he puked. Thankfully he's not like that anymore but I felt like I missed out a lot on being a first time mother to my own child. I have never asked my sister for money, but it is like having two jobs. And since Alyssa can't chew, we only get enough things to make dinner for two and we never know when we'll have to watch them so normally we buy pizzas or go get fast food each time. And I feel bad for my DH because he just worked a 16hr shift till 11pm last night and this is his only day off and I have to work so he'll have to be the one watching all of them for the first few hrs we have them. My sister texted saying she's looking for a different job since this keeps happening. I told her, you need to straight up ask mom if she doesn't want to watch them so you can stop depending on her to be the main babysitter. She just said I dunno. I'm like why? I don't get that. It's her responsibility to confront mom. If mom doesn't want to watch them then that's whatever but they need to figure that out. I get mom works and has to come home and watch them afterwards but I have a disabled daughter and finding out a few hrs before hand that we need to watch them is getting annoying. I'd like to know a little sooner than the day of. This happens at least once a week most times. Sigh, I just needed to vent.
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by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 10:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Pukalani79
by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 11:36 AM

 How frustrating. :(  Sounds like your sister needs to find a new sitter

Elyssa414
by Elyssa on Oct. 15, 2013 at 11:41 AM
Ugh. That sucks for you and for your sister.
alyssaravensmom
by Ashley on Oct. 15, 2013 at 11:43 AM
Yes it's stressful. I talked to my sister more and just told her I'll become the main babysitter and mom can just go screw off honestly.
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Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2013 at 1:15 PM

Hugs Mama.  Sorry you're stressed. 

Vintagefan
by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 1:39 PM

This is NOT your responsibility!  Once in awhile, yes.  But not regularly.  Your sister probably doesn't want to ask your mom because she doesn't want to hear the answer.  I feel bad for her, but we are all responsible for our own children.  My parents never babysat.  I depend on my sister for vacations.  She hates it, but I pay her well.  Tell your sister you can watch her kids 15 days a year and not more.  

jjamom
by Michele on Oct. 15, 2013 at 1:39 PM

You are wonderful for always being there for your sister.  But, at the same time, it sounds like it's putting a stress on you and your family and that isn't fair either.  Can your sister get another babysitter?  You could agree to watch them if the sitter can't (due to illness or some other unforeseen event) but it sounds like it really is a lot for you all right now.  

alyssaravensmom
by Ashley on Oct. 15, 2013 at 2:19 PM
No she doesn't have anyone else besides my mom and me and our mom has never really been good. I don't mind to watch them I'm just tired of getting not even a 24hr notice before I need to watch them. That's what makes it hard, but I know my mother finds excuses to get out of it. Then mom will come to me and tell me how sorry she is because she hates to have me watch them. I'm like yeah sureeee. It also makes it hard because my sister doesn't enforce anything. Like she'll tell them to sit but not make them sit if they won't. Her and my mother both spank and yell. I don't spank, and I also don't yell at them to do something I ask them once before I get up and pick them up and make them sit. So I usually don't have to much problems with them not behaving and we have fun playing whereas both my mom and sister have trouble with them and neither will really will get down and play with them like I will.


Quoting jjamom:

You are wonderful for always being there for your sister.  But, at the same time, it sounds like it's putting a stress on you and your family and that isn't fair either.  Can your sister get another babysitter?  You could agree to watch them if the sitter can't (due to illness or some other unforeseen event) but it sounds like it really is a lot for you all right now.  


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jjamom
by Michele on Oct. 15, 2013 at 4:18 PM
I can see where that makes it hard. Maybe you could get some frozen pizzas and fruit cups and keep them in case they come with little notice? That way you wouldn't have to order pizza, which I know gets expensive. Or maybe you could ask your sister to pack them some food/snacks for when they come.

I know that is only one facet of what makes it hard, but I can't think of much more right now. Hugs!


Quoting alyssaravensmom:

No she doesn't have anyone else besides my mom and me and our mom has never really been good. I don't mind to watch them I'm just tired of getting not even a 24hr notice before I need to watch them. That's what makes it hard, but I know my mother finds excuses to get out of it. Then mom will come to me and tell me how sorry she is because she hates to have me watch them. I'm like yeah sureeee. It also makes it hard because my sister doesn't enforce anything. Like she'll tell them to sit but not make them sit if they won't. Her and my mother both spank and yell. I don't spank, and I also don't yell at them to do something I ask them once before I get up and pick them up and make them sit. So I usually don't have to much problems with them not behaving and we have fun playing whereas both my mom and sister have trouble with them and neither will really will get down and play with them like I will.




Quoting jjamom:

You are wonderful for always being there for your sister.  But, at the same time, it sounds like it's putting a stress on you and your family and that isn't fair either.  Can your sister get another babysitter?  You could agree to watch them if the sitter can't (due to illness or some other unforeseen event) but it sounds like it really is a lot for you all right now.  



alyssaravensmom
by Ashley on Oct. 15, 2013 at 6:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you :). Now that I told her we'd be the babysitter from now on I can proceed with meals for 4 instead.


Quoting jjamom:

I can see where that makes it hard. Maybe you could get some frozen pizzas and fruit cups and keep them in case they come with little notice? That way you wouldn't have to order pizza, which I know gets expensive. Or maybe you could ask your sister to pack them some food/snacks for when they come.



I know that is only one facet of what makes it hard, but I can't think of much more right now. Hugs!




Quoting alyssaravensmom:

No she doesn't have anyone else besides my mom and me and our mom has never really been good. I don't mind to watch them I'm just tired of getting not even a 24hr notice before I need to watch them. That's what makes it hard, but I know my mother finds excuses to get out of it. Then mom will come to me and tell me how sorry she is because she hates to have me watch them. I'm like yeah sureeee. It also makes it hard because my sister doesn't enforce anything. Like she'll tell them to sit but not make them sit if they won't. Her and my mother both spank and yell. I don't spank, and I also don't yell at them to do something I ask them once before I get up and pick them up and make them sit. So I usually don't have to much problems with them not behaving and we have fun playing whereas both my mom and sister have trouble with them and neither will really will get down and play with them like I will.






Quoting jjamom:

You are wonderful for always being there for your sister.  But, at the same time, it sounds like it's putting a stress on you and your family and that isn't fair either.  Can your sister get another babysitter?  You could agree to watch them if the sitter can't (due to illness or some other unforeseen event) but it sounds like it really is a lot for you all right now.  




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darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 15, 2013 at 7:54 PM

Big hugs mama!

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