Went to target with my twins and my mom today. In the little cafe they had cookie samples and I offered the boys each one and Matty said "no I want to look at them" So I said, there isn't anything to look at, see, they're just these cookies in cups and he started getting whiney and angry and said "no I want a cookie" and I told him, these are the cookies do you want one yes or no and he started yelling at me.
I think what happened is that he heard cookie and thought he was going to get a real, whole, chocolate chip cookie. so we left the cafe area because he said no to the cookie and we started into the store and he just started with his fit. so my mom tries to take him to the food and buy him cookies but I stopped her and I said, no he's throwing a fit he isn't goin to get cookies and so he just kept up with it the whole time we were in the store. so we go to check out and I decide to take him to the car and I have to carry him out kicking and screaming and put him in the car. He was starting to calm down but when my mom got to the car with his twin he started in again, but more intense. I think this is because he knows my mom gives him whatever he wants if he screams because she doesn't want to listen to it. but I already said no cookie so I can't give in at this point so I figure lets just wait it out. that is what i HAVE to do with his fits. i have to wait until he's done, there isn't any stopping him. but she is getting aggitated and trying to tell him that the police man is going to come if he doesn't get in his car seat and on and on and so this freaks my other son out who starts crying and saying I don't want the guy to come take my Matty and I'm trying to assure him that won't happen, but he's still crying because Matty is scarying him by being so loud and my mom isn't helping because he's getting irritated. so she decides she needs to physically force him into his car seat. Well good luck with that because he's 40lbs and strong as hell. I don't attempt this anymore because even if I could get him in the car seat he can take his belt off himself and he will. so I just wait until he's done and he gets in his car seat (he did the same thing on Saturday and I had to just wait it out)
Eventually he stopped and got in his car seat but it was so horrible. the fit was so loud and intense and it was worse because we were in the car and I just felt so damn helpless. I don't know what to do in that situation. I have tried everything. I think I could have handled it if my mom hadn't been there because I could have just waited him out but she made me feel like I wasn't doing something right and she was basically throwing her own fit. And she has to point out that "everyone can hear him" and on and on and it makes me feel like others are jugding me. They don't understand that my son has special needs, they don't see that when they look at him.
It's just so hard to deal with and then I have to have my mom be there being mean to me making me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I felt like she was frustrated with the situation and she was taking it out on me by being mean.