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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

took your advice

Posted by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 1:34 AM
  • 21 Replies

I took the advice I got about Sam and his self harm and I didn't nag him about it or anything. I caught him in the bathroom just a little bit ago cutting his leg and I tried really hard not to react negatively or anything like that. it was so incredibly hard to just bite my tongue and be calm. I ask him if he was ok and he didn't respond and I sat him on the toilet and got out the bandaids and neosporen and he objected but I told him semi firmly if you're going to do it I'm going to clean it and he didn't say anything after that. 
It was pretty deep and it made me feel really sick that he could do that to himself. It makes me even sicker to think that he's hurting so much inside that he would rather slice is flesh open until he bleeds.
what helped me tonight was knowing I could come post in here about it, that I have people to talk to. so thank you for reading this. any advice is appriciated. (I'm going to tell his therapist about it the next time we see her, but she asks him about it each session and from what I know he is honest with her about whether he is doing it or not)

also, how do you know when a cut needs stitches??  

by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 1:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Oct. 28, 2013 at 6:20 AM

Hugs mama.  You're always welcome to come in the group and share.  That's what we are here for.  What was he cutting his leg with?  A razor?  Is there a way to keep all sharp objects out of his reach so he doesn't have access to them?

AllyB_
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 9:28 AM


yes, a razor blade. I have tried that, he always finds more. Last time I went through his room and took everything I could find that he might use and he has a massive panic attack over it. It was a hard night for everyone. Someone told me that might not be the best idea because its his only way of coping and the best thing I can do is just make sure to clean his cuts and get stitches if I need to. I WANT to take everything away but I'm afraid of causing another huge panic attack. His therapist suggests I try to get him to use the alternative ways of coping that they've discussed in therapy. we've been working on it

Quoting darbyakeep45:

Hugs mama.  You're always welcome to come in the group and share.  That's what we are here for.  What was he cutting his leg with?  A razor?  Is there a way to keep all sharp objects out of his reach so he doesn't have access to them?



mandee1503
by Amanda on Oct. 28, 2013 at 10:38 AM
I think of the wound is so deep and so wide that a bandaid won't fully cover it or staunch the bleeding it will probably require glue at the least. *hugs*
SnapShotMama
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 12:49 PM
1 mom liked this
For a cut if its wide enough that a bandaid wont cover it, Bleeding wont stop or its just obviously huge. I would stock up with some butterfly stitches, it will help hold the wider ones closed if they are between not so bad and er bad. Also get some vit e oil, it helps to heal the skin and minimize scarring.
letstalk747
by Joy on Oct. 28, 2013 at 1:24 PM


i hope he gets some serious help soon with all this

Linagma03
by Gold Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 1:49 PM
2 moms liked this

Figuring out when something needs stitches isn't easy. Like the others have said if it won't stay closed with a bandaid, if the bleeding doesn't want to stop even if it slows down if it doesn't stop then go get stitches. Keep the butterfly bandaids on hand they stick better and after cleaning it, use the butterflies to pull it closed then you can cover it with regular bandaids or leave it as is. 

Hugs. 

Basherte
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 8:43 AM
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*hugs* I don't know if this will help you or not. The reasons I've been told about why people cut. (coming from those that do cut) is that it is something they can control. That when they feel their life is so out of control is when they feel the need to cut the most. Maybe include him in the decisions on bed time, homework time, play time. Something that you will feel comfortable allowing him to have control over. It might not stop the cutting, but it might help him feel more in control of his life. Make sure that he is cleaning whatever it is that he is using to cut himself with. That will lower the chance of an infection. Make sure that whatever he uses is sharp as well. I know the point is to get him to stop cutting himself, but in the meantime you can at least make sure that he is healthy, and that him cutting himself doesn't do more harm than it already is. My brother cut himself. One time when he did it, he reached and grabbed the closest knife to him, and it turned out to be a ginsu knife. He barely touched his arm, but it went straight to the bone. The hospital had a psychiatrist go see him. He looked at her and said "if I had wanted to commit suicide, you and I wouldn't be talking right now." He was an adult at the time. I don't mean to scare you, but accidents happen. Until the cause of the cutting is taken care of nothing you can do or say will stop the cutting. Understand that. Please. My brother would just go somewhere else to find something to cut himself with and then he'll not be home and still cutting with more risk of not getting to a hospital in time if something bad happened. While taking away all sharp object will prevent him from cutting in your home, taking care of the reason he cuts himself will get him to stop cutting himself for a lot longer of a time. Hopefully his counselor can help him with that. Maybe ask him if there is anything you can help with that would help him to not feel the need to cut himself. But do it in a way that is loving and understanding. I wish the best for you and your family. My heart goes out to you guys. I wish there was more that I could suggest that would be like a magical wand and take away all the pain, hurt, and frustration that you are all feeling.
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Hottubgodess
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 11:45 AM

Good for you...to remail calm when you wanted so hard to freak out.  

Many times kids/adults cut for the sensation - is he a sensory seeker?  Is he underresponsive to pain?  If so, OT can help.  

Please call his therapist today.  Dont wait until the next appt.  You dont want to be feeling bad when he goes farther.  Any he will.  

Can you calmly, when he is not in the moment, ask him why?  What does it do for him to cut?  Is it the attention (negative attention can be better than none...and sometimes our kiddos dont realize we are giving them attention), or for the sensation?  Does it dull emotional pain?  Does it give him a rush?  You have to find the purpose, and then replace it with something that is not harming but has the same effect.  Some kiddos do better with rubbing their hands on velcro.  I am a nervous eater (I bite my nails, even at 42 and flick my fingers).  I started knitting again.  It keeps my hands and mind busy, without biting my nails to the "quick" and bleeding.  

Find the purpose....then together you can find the solution.  

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 12:04 PM

Oh, hugs Mama!  Not sure on the stiches thing, maybe google it? 

raysma07
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 9:44 PM

I am so sorry I don't really know about the stitches. but we can dicuss the cutting if you want to PM me at anytime

 

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