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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

I need help ASAP! Feeling helpless right now

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 12:34 PM
  • 20 Replies

Hello ladies! I am new to this group and I was hoping that I could get some advice on how to handle my 6 year old daughter. We just found out she was diagosed with ADHD and ODD and I have NO idea how to handle it. She's been defiant and stubborn ever since she was 2 years old and it's only gotten worse as she's gotten older and I just have no patience for it anymore. Our pediatrician recommended no medication at this point since she's so young but did say a psycholgist would be a great start. Our insurance doesn't cover mental health services for children or adults so I don't know how we are going to go about this and get the help she needs. It's just getting the worst its ever been and my husband and I just can't handle her anymore, we've come to our breaking point. She gets up at 4:00 every morning and gets into the pantry and eats and eats and eats. She just doesn't stop. She just is out of control. I just want to help her but I don't know how to do that with everything she's going through. I just want to go one day without feeling like a horrible mother for not wanting to get up in the morning because i I know I have to deal with her attitude and her being out of control. I just want one day where she listens to me and I don't have to to tell her 5 to 6 times to do something. I want to go one day where she doesn't whine over everything because she's not getting her way.  

We also have a 2 year old son and after he was born I was diagnosed with PPD and I feel like it's now turned into something more. I was on anti-depressants for it and I was feeling better but then when my daughther's attutide has gotten to the point that it has I just feel like I am going to snap one of these days. I don't even want to be home most of the time because I just don't want to deal with all the stress from everything going on. I am not sure if I get myself help if it will help my daughter as well because I just feel like I need to be talking to somebody and being on some sort of medication to help me with this anxiety and stress. I feel like a horrible mother for feeling this way because I love my daughter so much, I just want to know how to help her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much. 

by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 12:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Cindy18
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this

First and formost.... YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER!

Call your local Dept. of Mental Health and see if there is a sliding scale that you can get on for help. Be honest with them about your DD and you. 

HUGS!

calimommy1021
by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 12:44 PM

Thank you for that. I just feel like I shouldn't feel this way and I do and it makes me feel so crappy. I don't want to have to put my daughter on medication but right now I have NO idea what else to do. I feel like I am slamming my head into the wall and nothing is helping. This morning has been super horrible with her, she's been talking back, slamming her bedroom door at me, just having a nasty attitude and I can't handle it. I guess part of this was venting as well but I really do want some advice. I will see what the local department of mental health can do to help me and her. 

Quoting Cindy18:

First and formost.... YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER!

Call your local Dept. of Mental Health and see if there is a sliding scale that you can get on for help. Be honest with them about your DD and you. 

HUGS!


mandee1503
by Amanda on Nov. 17, 2013 at 1:15 PM

*hugs* no experience! but here's a bump.

aakeiser
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 2:16 PM
Sorry no experience with this issue. Hugs!! Welcome to the group.
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 2:45 PM

I do not have any experience or recommendations here, but no, you are not a bad mother.  Just a stressed out mother.  I would talk to your doc about personal options for you, and maybe they could also recommend some resources for your daughter.   

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 3:53 PM
I would request meds for her and you. At 6, she's old enough. I'm not normally a big pill pusher, but quality of life has to be considered too. If she's unhappy and y'all are stressed and unhappy all the time, its time to look at options.
lillettemomma
by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 4:41 PM
Call the department of mental health and get her a social worker asap.....Also look into state health care as a suplament to what u have already she should qualify if u can show she needs services ur insurance doesn't cover and u can't afford out of pocket
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:21 PM

Hugs and welcome!  I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.  I agree with these ladies...she needs a social worker and maybe to see a counselor at school.  Is she in public school?

Codysmom2106
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Hey! Welcome to the group! 

First you definitely are not a bad mom. You are doing the best you can for yourself, your dd, and your family. Also, my ds was diagnosed with ADHD at just over 6 1/2 years old. As much as I hated the idea of medicating him in the long run it has been the best thing for him. 

I hope you find the resources that you need. Idk if maybe your local health department could help or not?

best wishes and good luck! Stay strong!

lazyd
by Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:22 AM

im sorry, but i would find another pediatrician.  Is this a "general" ped or a "specialized" ped??  Im sorry, or maybe I AM a "pill pusher" but my son was diagnosed with adhd/odd/severe anxiety at 3 1/2!!  AND PUT ON MEDS!!!  He is 11 now.  There is NO WAY i go a day w/o medicating him.  I know that sounds bad, but it IS about quality of life!  Everyone is suffering.  I know people will say you are stunting a child's growth or there is a lack of appetite & other sides effects, but they do have lots of different meds out there that you can try.  You will be using your child as a "guinea pig" in essence.  When it comes to meds, it is trial n error.  You need to find a doctor that specializes in mental health issues.  They MAY NOT recommend meds either, but they will have better resources and access to therapist, etc.  Go to the your counties mental health building, they usually work with people on a sliding scale.  I take it, she is in school??  If so, than have the school do testing on her & get her set up with a 504 or IEP.    

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