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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

Don't want to hurt her feelings but........

Posted by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:03 AM
  • 14 Replies

I have a friend that is making me feeling I don't know smothered. She calls me first thing in the morning agian before picking the kids up from school and then when she gets home and agian whenit is around dinner time and then agian and agian . she invites her self over  when I don't really want to hang out and when I want to go like shopping or something by my self I need to lie to her cause I want to go alone! DID I MENTION SHE LIVE A BLOCK AWAY!!! LITERLY!!!!

So how do I tell her that I just need some space and breathing room without her taking it the wrong way?

Btw she doesn't get that my son is on a strict schedule because of his ADHD and needs to do certain thing at certain times and NO I WON'T JUST LET HIM BE! I just want to scream If you don't like it stay away!

Help I like her as a person but I feel smothered!!

by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cafe MichelleP
by Head Admin on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:35 AM
2 moms liked this

I would just tell her that you appreciate her friendship so much and you are glad to have such a good friend. But right now, you need to really work on your sons schedule and routine and until you have it down effortlessly, you need to focus only on that.

Just tell her that you keep your phone on silent during the day and you will return her calls when you have some down time.

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:46 AM

Well, if you enjoy being with her and think there is a friendship there she needs some disability awareness education so she can understand what your life entails and choose to accept and stick around or bolt.  If she understood more about your son, maybe she would better understand why you can't just answer your phone or go out at the drop of a hat.  Maybe pick a couple of days each week where you meet for lunch or to go do girlfriend things or something but then explain much of your time is taken up with your son's treatments, medical issues, therapies, extra educational help, etc and that when he is around you can not be available to her as you need to focus on your son.

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:57 AM
1 mom liked this
This. I had a friend for 10 years who would call or text every day, several times. But when I tried to explain my kids issues to her, she just backed away farther and farther until she was gone. It really is a true test of friendship.

just be honest with her. If she cares for you, she'll understand.

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

Well, if you enjoy being with her and think there is a friendship there she needs some disability awareness education so she can understand what your life entails and choose to accept and stick around or bolt.  If she understood more about your son, maybe she would better understand why you can't just answer your phone or go out at the drop of a hat.  Maybe pick a couple of days each week where you meet for lunch or to go do girlfriend things or something but then explain much of your time is taken up with your son's treatments, medical issues, therapies, extra educational help, etc and that when he is around you can not be available to her as you need to focus on your son.

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:51 AM

Well said...I totally agree here!

Quoting Cafe MichelleP:

I would just tell her that you appreciate her friendship so much and you are glad to have such a good friend. But right now, you need to really work on your sons schedule and routine and until you have it down effortlessly, you need to focus only on that.

Just tell her that you keep your phone on silent during the day and you will return her calls when you have some down time.


N.Carter2001
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 5:18 PM

Just tell her how you feel. But i wish i had a friend that wanted to hang out with me.  I only get used when it something she wants.

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 8:40 PM

Omg.. Its so hard... Those needy friends.  I had to once tell a friend I just did not have the time or energy she needed me to have... Lol... Rough spot. 

squeekers
by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:03 PM

 well for starters get a voice mail/answering machine.

letstalk747
by Joy on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:07 PM

THIS

Quoting Cafe MichelleP:

I would just tell her that you appreciate her friendship so much and you are glad to have such a good friend. But right now, you need to really work on your sons schedule and routine and until you have it down effortlessly, you need to focus only on that.

Just tell her that you keep your phone on silent during the day and you will return her calls when you have some down time.


lazyd
by Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 11:28 AM

So how old are you guys?  I take it she isnt married or have kids?  Cuz if she did than she would be pretty busy herself and not be able to bother you as much?  Or she just doesnt want to be around her own family?  Tell her that you do have to take care of your family and that you are only available at certain times to talk or visit.  If she loves you enough as a friend, than she will abide by your "rules".  I know it is tough...the people who have kids vs the ones who dont.  It is a fine line.  The ones who dont have kids sometimes just dont understand that us parents dont have as much free time as we would like or when we do we like to spend it with our kids.  My son also has adhd and a schedule is necessary.  I know you may not want to completely lose the friendship, but do you guys have other friends that maybe you can "pawn" her off on?  LOL!  

mommyof7921
by Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 1:02 PM

I just wouldnt answer her calls since I'm too busy and just give her a call when I'm free.

you really do not have to say anything just let her know that your busy.

does she come by your home too or just phone calls?

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