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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

i don't know what to do...ot but need help ladies

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:42 PM
  • 19 Replies
Y'all remember not long ago I was asking your advice about taking in my younger cousin? Well, its come up again. My uncle just called me and said she needs to be moved for her safety. Apparently she's been running with the wrong crowd out there and managed to get herself in some serious situations. He's asking us to become her legal guardians.

he's already tried her mom, and she's agreed to take her. But mikayla hasn't seen her since she was 2 and she's 14 now. She refuses to go with her. We're the next choice. I told him I didn't know what we would be able to do. She would have to sleep on the couch or we would have to get a bigger place. He offered to send some money each month for groceries and expenses and such, but I don't know if we could swing it still. Because it would be a legal matter, he said there might be some state money involved for us, but I'll have to make a few phone calls and see how that works.

I just don't know. I won't have time to sit down and hash this out with dh until Friday because of work and such, but I'll give him the condensed version tomorrow afternoon so he has some time to think about it and come up with any questions or concerns. Please pray for us and her. I want to help, but not at the expense of my own family either. Of course, out here she's more likely to stay put of trouble. School would be out very soon, we live way out in the country, and we go to church every week. They all think we would be a great influence on her. I told my uncle she would have rules and limits and would be expected to help out with things. I want her and them to understand this wouldn't be a free ride.

she's a good kid at heart, I know she is. Its just such a big responsibility to take on another kid, a 14 yr old at that.
by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 5:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
letstalk747
by Joy on Mar. 19, 2014 at 7:39 PM

yeah , tough one , i guess pray for a peace about this within yourself

mandee1503
by Amanda on Mar. 19, 2014 at 8:07 PM
*hugs* hope it all works out
Momof4AEMW
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 8:10 PM

I have no advice, just hugs!  You'll make the right decision.  Just follow your heart, and your gut!

Momof4AEMW
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 8:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Ok, another thought.  Could you take her just for the summer kind of as a trial period and see how things work out; if she fits in your family ok, is helpful, is too much trouble there too, if uncle does send some money to help out with expenses, etc.  Maybe if you are really thinking about taking her a trial period for all of you.  Kind of like foster parenting before adoption.  Legal guardian is great if you want that, but it's pretty permanent responsibility too. 

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 8:32 PM
Yeah. I don't know. He wants to send her at the end of the month. I think between family members we could get the financial help we would need. It would just be a matter of asking. Surprisingly, dh didn't immediately shoot it down and wants more information on the kind of trouble she's been in and why she's involved with the court system there. My fil is against it, but he seems to be against anything we take on lol.

Quoting Momof4AEMW:

Ok, another thought.  Could you take her just for the summer kind of as a trial period and see how things work out; if she fits in your family ok, is helpful, is too much trouble there too, if uncle does send some money to help out with expenses, etc.  Maybe if you are really thinking about taking her a trial period for all of you.  Kind of like foster parenting before adoption.  Legal guardian is great if you want that, but it's pretty permanent responsibility too. 

Linagma03
by Gold Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 1:39 AM

Good Luck. Before you make any decisions make sure that you are getting the whole story from your Uncle. I know that you'll make the choice that is right for all of you.

 

aakeiser
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 1:01 PM
This is a tough one. I linagma03 I would make sure you get the whole story. I am not saying not to take her. There could be things going on you don't want to get in the middle of. My concerns is what kind of trouble is she getting in and if she can fall into the same ctowd where you live and get into the same trouble. I can imagine what she is getting into. My high school was nothing but stoners, drug attics, and drunks. It was noting to walk into the bathroom and see a girl od on something. I still don't know how I managed to stay out of it. I have never tried pot or any type of drugs. Drinking I did in my twentys.
arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 8:49 PM
I know. I talked to my aunt for over an hour last night about it. Her boyfriend is a drug dealer. She's been seen selling, but didn't have enough to charge. She's getting into a gang and its becoming dangerous. Its scary how much such a young kid can get into 😞.

yes, I'm sure she could into drugs here. But, we live out in the country and are 30 minutes from town. Plus dh is a deputy with the sheriffs office. I'm hoping that helps scare her straight

Quoting aakeiser: This is a tough one. I linagma03 I would make sure you get the whole story. I am not saying not to take her. There could be things going on you don't want to get in the middle of. My concerns is what kind of trouble is she getting in and if she can fall into the same ctowd where you live and get into the same trouble. I can imagine what she is getting into. My high school was nothing but stoners, drug attics, and drunks. It was noting to walk into the bathroom and see a girl od on something. I still don't know how I managed to stay out of it. I have never tried pot or any type of drugs. Drinking I did in my twentys.
arkmomma06
by Angie on Mar. 20, 2014 at 8:52 PM
Thats a tough decision.

I have a 14 year old girl, and i know first hand how tough it is. Good luck
aakeiser
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 9:37 PM
I am here no matter what you decide.

Quoting arkansasmama08: I know. I talked to my aunt for over an hour last night about it. Her boyfriend is a drug dealer. She's been seen selling, but didn't have enough to charge. She's getting into a gang and its becoming dangerous. Its scary how much such a young kid can get into 😞.

yes, I'm sure she could into drugs here. But, we live out in the country and are 30 minutes from town. Plus dh is a deputy with the sheriffs office. I'm hoping that helps scare her straight

Quoting aakeiser: This is a tough one. I linagma03 I would make sure you get the whole story. I am not saying not to take her. There could be things going on you don't want to get in the middle of. My concerns is what kind of trouble is she getting in and if she can fall into the same ctowd where you live and get into the same trouble. I can imagine what she is getting into. My high school was nothing but stoners, drug attics, and drunks. It was noting to walk into the bathroom and see a girl od on something. I still don't know how I managed to stay out of it. I have never tried pot or any type of drugs. Drinking I did in my twentys.
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