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Everyone in the store was just staring! :/

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:01 AM
  • 29 Replies
So today I had to go to cvs to return some make up and I usually put my son in a shopping cart because he runs every where and throwing stuff he is 6yrs old he has Down syndrome also so anyways I thought I'm going to let him be a big boy and not be in a cart and let me hold my hand and walk with me. So started off good we got in line he got inpatient really quick started wanting to run away so I had to hold him hand harder so then started screaming pulling away from me I got down to his level told him we have to wait almost done and that he has to wait with me lol and I put lol because I should of known my sons crazy lol he threw him self on the floor laying completely down there was a few people in line and he screams really loud so I picked him up told him again to behave and that were almost done. Everyone is staring at me as I'm trying to hold a 6 year old kid from running away he gets away runs to a newspaper stand and throws the newspaper over the counter I ran after him and told the manager sorry because he was right there and he just gave me a dirty look it was my turn so I return the stuff and on our way out he knocked over a ball.. Everyone was just giving looks and looked like in shock I got in the car told him to please not act like that on my way home I started crying i don't know why I just did I think I am very patient with him and do good with trying to talk to him instead of yelling or getting frustrated I just I don't it just got to me and I cried I guess also because I feel so alone in this now since me and his father broke up 2 months ago and he hasn't helped with him. I talk to my family but I don't think anyone without a special needs child can understand how challenging the little things can be or important patience is with them sometimes. I have a class tomorrow to learn about PODD training class tomorrow so hopefully I can learn how to communicate more with him. I know this is really long sorry I needed to vent.. Thanks for reading:)
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:01 AM
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by Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:07 AM
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Oh hun we have all been there at sometime, we've all cried, its normal for a SN mom to have a breaking point.

Just remember you know your son at his best, and those strangers don't mean anything in your life.

To make you feel better I can tell you even my nurotypical child can not wait long lol, so its normal. I have two sn boys (ds 5, ss 3), one nurotypical (ds2) and I am pregnant, stores are hit and miss.

Pm me anytime
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:57 AM
3 moms liked this
You are not alone. There have been a number of times where my ds who is 8 btw has had to be taken out to the car by my dh because of his behavior. I know those looks all to well. I try to just ignore them because unless you have a sn child I don't think you can really understand. I'm sorry you feel like you have to go through this alone.
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 8:46 AM
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What's PODD training?  Curious!!

I can understand.  My little one with downs is 5.5, and I still take her in a stroller if I need to take her in somewhere.  She has pretty much no understanding of rules and expectations and can not hear me well to even try to process them.  She'd run, pull everything off, etc.  My son with ASD would be the screamer that the whole store would hear, he'd need to be carried or held and is so heavy.  I control as much as I can, but people are going to notice and stare.  It's just happend so much I am use to it now and don't even notice them anymore.  I'm sorry it hurt your feelings but can understand why.  You're a great mom and doing a great job.  Those are strangers you'll never see again, and your son is amazing!  Hugs!! 

by Michele on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:10 AM
1 mom liked this
Hugs! I know it was frustrating, but really, who hasn't seen a kid throw a fit in a store before? As for the manager, I wouldn't give a damn about his dirty look. You apologized. It's not like you completely overlooked it or did nothing. He can get over it!

My son with DS is 8 and I still have him ride in the cart most times. He is a very small 8, so he still fits and things just go a lot smoother.

I'm sorry you are feeling so isolated. Is there a DS support group near you?

What is PODD training?
by Amanda on Apr. 3, 2014 at 10:12 AM
1 mom liked this
*hugs* my nt dd was that way for a while.
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this

You're doing great! Do whatever you have to do to find a group of special needs moms. If you're having trouble finding groups, ask moms of special needs kids that you see in public! Just, find a group so you don't feel isolated and can talk about things.

by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Awww we all have worse days tban others Its not simpke to wirk things out with people stairing and giving judgemental looks expecially on our own.  

by Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:17 PM
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I have a daughter who has Down Syndrome and what worked for us was:

  • Reminding her that she had to keep a hand on the cart or she wouldn't get to come shopping again (it was an empty threat but *she* didn't know that)
  • Getting her to fetch things for you even if they're within a hand's reach (keeps her busy and makes her feel important)
  • Allowing her to make a couple of choices (choice of soap, choice of apple, and it's even better when they have tastings and she gets to choose cheese or ham!)
  • Letting her put all the stuff in the cart in front of the cashier (though this can take time - most people behind me smile understandingly)

I suppose what it all boils down to is making her feel important so she doesn't feel the need to grab attention with a fuss...

Good luck. Just tell yourself that it gets better :) because it does!

by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this

both my kids did this when younger , i put them in shopping cart

by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 2:24 PM

I can relate! My son is 7 with down syndrome. He has been pretty good in stores lately. I get upset sometimes as well, it seems like what is simple for others to do, seems to be such a challenge for me at times, like just going to the store! Know you are not alone!! Hope you find some people to talk with and help you out, but you can do it, you will be fine!

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