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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

She's Perfect to Me

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2014 at 9:39 PM
  • 16 Replies

My daughters name is Whitney & as hard as it is to believe, she will be a whopping 9 years old in October. I never imagined my life would be what it is now, but i am happy. I have stress, bad days, needs that go unfulfilled,a 2nd child I fear feels neglected at times and sleep that goes unappreciated but I am happy.

My story starts in June 2002, when I met and fell immediately in love with a man named Rickey. After about a month of him being at my house on weekends, unanswered calls after 6-7p during week, I became suspicous. My suspicions were confirmed and i discovered he was married, ad his wife was 6 weeks pregnant. I packed all his things, wrote his wife a letter and dropped it at the front desk of her job. I thought that would be the end but he left her, and months later we were back together.We started trying to get pregnant in January 2003 & We married in July 2004. He already had 4 kids from 3 other women, but at 19 you could tell me nnothing. After 13 months of trying without success i decided that I didnt want to try anymore ( i had actually just given up hope) yet in February 2005 i found out we were expecting. I was ecstatic, and couldnt wait to be a mommy. During my whole pregnancy i felt like something wsnt quite right..even though test after test came back with nothing wrong, my OBGYN told me it was "first time mommy nerves", I KNEW in my heart that something was not right. To add to my worry, on Oct 14, just 6 days before having her, I watched my 17 year old sister get killed in a car accident. My world started falling apart at that very moment.

I went into labor at 2am on October 20th 2005 and we made our way to Birmingham. Labor was easy...wonderfull even, and when all 5lb 3oz of my beautiful daughter was laid upon my chest all I seen was perfection. A beautiful, perfect angel who came to heal the hole iin my heart left by the loss of my sister, my best friend. Everyone in the room got quiet, she was taken from my chest to the table to be cleaned up and the look on my friends face caused something inside me to stir.."is she ok?" "shes doing great mrs. martin, but we cant seem to get her eyes open so we are going to take her down to NICU and have an MRI" All I remember saying before bursting into tears is "you are NOT taking my baby anywhere without someone with you". MY husband followed. Several hours later while visiting her in the NICU an ophthamologists came to speak with us. He informed me that my angel was born with bilateral anophthalmia(no eyes) but that, in a strange turn of events, nothing else seems to be "wrong" with her. You see, most children born with this have it accompanied by a syndrome/disorder. Not my girl. She just simply has no eyes.

The geneticist used the appalling term "fluke of nature" for as to why this happens and only in recent years have they discovered the exact gene that mutates in the first month of gestation. Yet, knowing what causes the mutation is still unknown.

People constantly say things like "oh im so sorry" or "oh bless her heart" and though it irks me, they have no idea! She is amazing! She is sooo happy, sooo loved, sooo smart and is not missing anything!! She attends the best blind school in the united states as we, luckily, have always lived 20 minutes away. Her dad hasnt been around in a few years, but thats something else she is not missing,  she is no less loved..she is beautiful...she is perfect to me!!

by on Apr. 26, 2014 at 9:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 10:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Welcome to the group!!  Very supportive here!!  Sorry to hear about the loss of your sister, very sad.   

Momof4AEMW
by Gold Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 10:04 PM

Oh, and she is adorable, btw! 

Whitbev1020
by New Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 10:13 PM

Thank you! & yes though the loss of my sister is very traumatic i truly believe that  losing her has somehow helped me to become a better person and mother..i never knew loss before her..and i never reallly valued people, relationships and compassion either..so somehow an awful thing became a blessing..still wish i couldve seen her hold my daughter, just once..listened to her sing to her just once, but its the way things are...

Mipsy
by Chelle on Apr. 26, 2014 at 10:27 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow thank you for sharing with us! Your dd is very beautiful!
snuggsxox
by Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 10:28 PM
1 mom liked this
She is watching over you! Your daughter is beautiful!
letstalk747
by Joy on Apr. 26, 2014 at 11:05 PM
1 mom liked this

welcome , thanks for sharing , lots of support here

luvnoah10
by Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 11:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Your daughter is beautiful! God doesn't close one door without opening another.....

Linagma03
by Gold Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 11:56 PM
1 mom liked this
She is beautiful. Welcome to the group.
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Apr. 27, 2014 at 7:59 AM

Welcome...she's gorgeous!  Glad you're here!

Mommy2Boys0900
by Member on Apr. 27, 2014 at 8:17 AM
Welcome to the group. The ladies here are so sweet and very supportive. Your daughter is beautiful.
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