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living a nightmare :( ** update **

Posted by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 6:26 AM
  • 21 Replies
Mikayla asked me the other night if I was going to read her fb messages. I asked why and she said nevermind, I'll just delete them. So, I turned her WiFi off (only internet access) because I figured there was something there I should see. After she went to bed, I checked. She talked about drugs with a few friends and told a couple others she was planning another suicide attempt. I chalked it up to attention seeking and looking for drama. I was wrong. Dh checked the internet history tonight when he got home from work. She's told several friends goodbye, been visiting suicide chat rooms, and researching how to overdose on adderrol. I've locked up ALL medications, except Jeremiah's since they're harmless. Dh talked to the sheriffs office and they said we need to print out all evidence, file it with them in town, and they show it to a judge to sign off on an involuntary commitment to the psych hospital.

I feel like I've completely failed her. My cousin could have died because I didn't pay attention. It just feels like a nightmare. We can't really do anything until Monday, so the plan is to keep her alive and safe and busy until then.

anyway, I guess that's all. I just needed to get it out. Dh wants to confront her tomorrow afternoon and tell her we know, but not that we're committing her. The deal was that we would be open and honest with her if she would be with us. Since she hasn't been, we feel no need to disclose everything. This was one of our worst fears when we took her, but I just thought she was doing ok. That she was happy here. I was wrong.

**Mikayla was really out of it this morning. She didn't say anything all morning and disappeared when we got to church. I finally found her hunched down in the corner of a dark room. I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't talk. So I offered to take her for a drive and get some breakfast and she agreed to that. So we went to Denny's and she talked on the way home. She came clean and agreed that she needs help. I'm going to make her a Dr appointment and she said she would talk to him and we would do what he suggested. I told her that may mean the hospital, but not necessarily. I told her she could trust me, I won't betray or hurt her. But I have to do what I have to do to keep her safe, even if it makes her angry.
by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 6:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Gold Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 7:53 AM

Sorry Mama.  Big hugs!!  You're doing the right thing getting her help.  Good luck!

by Michele on Jun. 14, 2014 at 9:40 AM
Sorry to hear this. Sounds like she needs professional help. You should not in any way feel like a failure, it doesn't reflect at all on anything you have or have not done. Now that you know, you are getting her help and that is the best that anyone could do in this situation. Hugs!
by Amanda on Jun. 14, 2014 at 10:39 AM
I'm so sorry. *hugs*
by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 11:18 AM
good luck I hope she gets better. I will say this though she didn't have to say anything to you she could have killed herself and you found the Facebook posts after the fact. See it as a sign of her knowing she needs help and asking for it even though it wasn't out right. And kudos to you for your quick thinking with the WiFi shutdown thing
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 11:26 AM

I'm so sorry. *HUGS* You haven't failed. You have done your best. Her problems are her's alone. She has to work to get past them and she won't do that until she is ready.

by Ruby Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 12:11 PM


by Silver Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 6:12 PM

You have an enormous amount on your plate, and have done your best. So do not beat yourself up.

Do not wait for Monday. Call your doctor. her parents, and a suicide hot line.

by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 6:41 PM
I would call a suicide hotline. Better safe than sorry later. Hugs!!

Keep us updated!
by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 6:49 PM

Maybe what she needs is the professional help. Sudicial thoughts are, sometimes, from mental illness and that just doesn't go away with a change of scenery. 

by Platinum Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 7:48 PM

You haven't failed her. She was reaching out to you for help and you are giving her the help she needs. If she didn't trust you and want help she never would have said anything about her FB messages. Do what the Sherriff's office said to do so that you can get her the help that she needs. 

She does trust you guys she just has a hard time showing it openly by telling you the things that are bothering her and just sitting and talking to you. She has never had that chance before and doesn't know how to do that I'm sure. 

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