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Raising Special Needs Kids Raising Special Needs Kids

daycare kicked him out

Posted by on Aug. 24, 2014 at 11:34 PM
  • 21 Replies
My son Logan is 3 will be 4 sept 3. He has down syndrome. We did before and after school last year. He went to school during day for pre k. All summer he's been home with my boyfriend and his son who is 6. The boys like to wrestle alot. We decided to do before and after school again this year at the daycare because I think it is good for him to interact with typical kids. This was the first week. One day this week they said he was crying and very tired. Understandable since it's a new routine with a shorter nap than his 2 hour nap all summer. On Friday when I picked him up they said that would have to be his last day. He's too disruptive and is hurting other kids. There were no complaints all week. No notice just don't come back. Well his bus will be picking him up there until he gets a new bus come to our house. I can't miss an hour of work every morning to take him to school. I'm going to have to hang out front of the daycare in the morning and hope they don't mind. I asked if he could come 1 more week so I can get the bus changed but they said no. He's not violent. He just likes to wrestle because that's what the boys do at home. I'm sure if they gave him more than a week he'd adjust. So stressed by the whole situation.
by on Aug. 24, 2014 at 11:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kinshipcaremama
by Member on Aug. 24, 2014 at 11:56 PM
4 moms liked this

Start quoting the ADA to the daycare and tell them you will be contacting a lawyer.  The daycare is REQUIRED to make "reasonable accommodations" to allow your son to participate.  Unless they can document what they did to make it work out you could have a nice tidy settlement comingfrom the daycare.  You can research the ADA online and make a complaint if you feel it would help. Don't let them tell you they are exempt.  Even home day cares have to make accommodations.

mandee1503
by Amanda on Aug. 25, 2014 at 12:13 AM
I'm so sorry.
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Aug. 25, 2014 at 5:38 AM

Perfect advice...totally agree!  Hugs mama!

Quoting kinshipcaremama:

Start quoting the ADA to the daycare and tell them you will be contacting a lawyer.  The daycare is REQUIRED to make "reasonable accommodations" to allow your son to participate.  Unless they can document what they did to make it work out you could have a nice tidy settlement comingfrom the daycare.  You can research the ADA online and make a complaint if you feel it would help. Don't let them tell you they are exempt.  Even home day cares have to make accommodations.


Nicole_2007
by Member on Aug. 25, 2014 at 9:04 AM

I agree with this

Quoting kinshipcaremama:

Start quoting the ADA to the daycare and tell them you will be contacting a lawyer.  The daycare is REQUIRED to make "reasonable accommodations" to allow your son to participate.  Unless they can document what they did to make it work out you could have a nice tidy settlement comingfrom the daycare.  You can research the ADA online and make a complaint if you feel it would help. Don't let them tell you they are exempt.  Even home day cares have to make accommodations.


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jjamom
by Michele on Aug. 25, 2014 at 9:36 AM
That makes me so mad! I'm so sorry. Is it the same daycare as last year?

A lady in my local DS group had an issue like this with a local preschool. She decided not to pursue it legally and instead found a preschool that welcomed her daughter and worked with her to get her acclimated.
Marti123
by Member on Aug. 25, 2014 at 9:41 AM
2 moms liked this
They gave you no warnings or prior concerns. I would be pretty frustrated, what a ugly care provider!! I am so sorry!

As far as quoting the ADA, my opinion and my opinion only............I never want my high needs with a caregiver that does not want him, even if he has the legal right to be there. My DS can be difficult to care for and when possible I only try to have him with caregivers that feel confident dealing with him.

Also, I know my sensory seeker loves to wrestle, but we are always working on boundaries, it's only ok at home..............can your DS understand this?

*hugs* good luck finding a new place.
kinshipcaremama
by Member on Aug. 25, 2014 at 12:03 PM

Personally, I would find a new daycare AND make an ADA complaint. The thing to remember if you do make a complaint is that you don't HAVE to keep Logan at that daycare.  A complaint would allow the daycare program to be investigated and required to make any changes to it's rules and regulations to make it ADA compliant.  A complaint will make the program more accessable to the next child with special needs who walks through the door.  As parents of kids with special needs we need to watch out for each other.  Helping the daycare program develop a more accepting attitude, by following through with a complaint, is good for everyone involved.  Good luck!

Quoting Marti123: They gave you no warnings or prior concerns. I would be pretty frustrated, what a ugly care provider!! I am so sorry! As far as quoting the ADA, my opinion and my opinion only............I never want my high needs with a caregiver that does not want him, even if he has the legal right to be there. My DS can be difficult to care for and when possible I only try to have him with caregivers that feel confident dealing with him. Also, I know my sensory seeker loves to wrestle, but we are always working on boundaries, it's only ok at home..............can your DS understand this? *hugs* good luck finding a new place.

 

Marti123
by Member on Aug. 25, 2014 at 12:07 PM
Good point!

Quoting kinshipcaremama:

Personally, I would find a new daycare AND make an ADA complaint. The thing to remember if you do make a complaint is that you don't HAVE to keep Logan at that daycare.  A complaint would allow the daycare program to be investigated and required to make any changes to it's rules and regulations to make it ADA compliant.  A complaint will make the program more accessable to the next child with special needs who walks through the door.  As parents of kids with special needs we need to watch out for each other.  Helping the daycare program develop a more accepting attitude, by following through with a complaint, is good for everyone involved.  Good luck!


Quoting Marti123: They gave you no warnings or prior concerns. I would be pretty frustrated, what a ugly care provider!! I am so sorry! As far as quoting the ADA, my opinion and my opinion only............I never want my high needs with a caregiver that does not want him, even if he has the legal right to be there. My DS can be difficult to care for and when possible I only try to have him with caregivers that feel confident dealing with him. Also, I know my sensory seeker loves to wrestle, but we are always working on boundaries, it's only ok at home..............can your DS understand this? *hugs* good luck finding a new place.

 

arkansasmama08
by Gold Member on Aug. 25, 2014 at 12:54 PM
I agree completely. I am so sorry. If he's not being violent and constantly physically hurting other kids, they have no business kicking him out. And frankly, I've worked daycare and I would have loved to have kids that only wrestled! We had one new girl that cried every day for 3 weeks, I've had hitters, pinchers, biters, and not one got booted!

Quoting kinshipcaremama:

Personally, I would find a new daycare AND make an ADA complaint. The thing to remember if you do make a complaint is that you don't HAVE to keep Logan at that daycare.  A complaint would allow the daycare program to be investigated and required to make any changes to it's rules and regulations to make it ADA compliant.  A complaint will make the program more accessable to the next child with special needs who walks through the door.  As parents of kids with special needs we need to watch out for each other.  Helping the daycare program develop a more accepting attitude, by following through with a complaint, is good for everyone involved.  Good luck!


Quoting Marti123: They gave you no warnings or prior concerns. I would be pretty frustrated, what a ugly care provider!! I am so sorry! As far as quoting the ADA, my opinion and my opinion only............I never want my high needs with a caregiver that does not want him, even if he has the legal right to be there. My DS can be difficult to care for and when possible I only try to have him with caregivers that feel confident dealing with him. Also, I know my sensory seeker loves to wrestle, but we are always working on boundaries, it's only ok at home..............can your DS understand this? *hugs* good luck finding a new place.

 

TommyAbby
by Bronze Member on Aug. 25, 2014 at 4:30 PM
2 moms liked this

OK.. I am going to play devil's advocate here. Just follow me for a second:

Per the ADA, they have to make reasonable accomodations, correct? How would they do that for him?  If he is wrestling with other kids and hurting them, he would have to be put in an area by himself, correct? 

Now this is if you can't get him to understand that wrestling with his brother is ONLY for home and NOT for at daycare.  If he doesn't understand that concept, what would you like for them to do? You can file the complaint, make the reasonable request (such as giving you a week to try to work with him to understand where wrestling with kids is appropriate), but if he doesn't get it? 


And on the flip side: Yes, your son has the right to go to day care. But the other kids ALSO have the right to be in daycare and be safe. If he is playing too rough and hurting other kids, those parents also have the right to complain.   


In your case. I would talk with the head of the daycare; ask for direct examples of what he is doing wrong; ask for an extension of say 1 to 2 weeks to work on said behavior. IF at that point in time, your son doesn't get it, then try to find another place or stop with the program. 

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