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If it's not too personal can I ask you sahm's...

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:59 PM
  • 11 Replies

How did you become a sahm? were you always or did you decide when you had kids? How do you find being a one income family? Do you work from home? For those with adoption fees how do you make ends meet? I would love to at least cut back to part time but I am worried we will be stressed and struggle to pay all our bills. Thoughts?

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:59 PM
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coonanmom
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:29 PM

When my husband got a job in Washington state.  We were in Ct.  One of the things I ask was if I could stay home with my son, age 1 1/2 years.  I was able to by opening a home day care.  My Mother also did this.  When he was 10 we mover to a new home and stopped child care. We had two kids then.  A few years latter we decided to adopt.,  We did this through foster care.  Over the 10 years we did foster care we adopted 3 and we had 1.  The 6 kids are now 25,21,10,9,5,& 4.  I could have not done this and worked.  My husband also went back to school and got his bachelor's and masters degree in project management.  Which has helped him in his job.  We also make choices so I can stay home.  Raising my family and helping other children has been my job.  We no longer do foster care but I still help out with mission work that helps foster kids and families. 

clvahlberg
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 4:40 PM

 Hubby and I were both active duty. Originally, the plan was for me to stay in until retirement and hubby would get out and pursue a civilian career. I had better career advancement opportunities and was higher ranking.

I ended up breaking a bone in my foot and as a result, both of my arches fell. So, I was medically discharged. I had several jobs here and there, but they all required standing for long periods of time. With us moving every 2 to 3 years, finding a decent job where I could sit the majority of the time was difficult. Most people didn't want to invest in an employee that wouldn't stick around.

I also had several 6 month long periods where I couldn't walk because I was healing from a surgery (5 foot/ankle surgeries total). I have a wierd pain tolerance and was constantly tearing tendons in my ankles and even tore my achilles. It seemed like getting a job usually ended in another foot surgery for me. So, eventually we realized the little bit of extra money we would get from me having a part time job just wasn't worth it.

Technically, we do have another income. I receive a disability from the VA. It's not the same as a full time job, but it's enough to help us live comfortably. Plus, the military has great benefits as well.

mcginnisc
by Claire on Sep. 14, 2011 at 4:50 PM


Quoting rainbowsrock:

How did you become a sahm?I made the decision, correction, we made the decision before we had children that I would stay home at least until they were all in school. 


were you always or did you decide when you had kids?I have always worked..since 16. Before we had kids, I was a Chef. I was also a supervisor in the pet care dept at Petsmart. The restaurant I worked for went under and PM offered me a full time job with a big raise. I took it. I quit a week before we left for China and never looked back!  


How do you find being a one income family?Well, Dh makes a very nice 6 figure salary on his own..it would be easier if I worked- just to offset private school fees, but other than that we live comfortably. 


Do you work from home?I am a Beachbody coach, but it's not going anywhere these days.


For those with adoption fees how do you make ends meet?We don't have any fees...ours was paid off before our adoption was finalized and then we got the tax credit the following year. 

Claire

 I would love to at least cut back to part time but I am worried we will be stressed and struggle to pay all our bills. Thoughts?


" I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

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prayinforlilone
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 5:06 PM

Hubby makes a nice six figure salary as well, so my salary would have been nice, but it was more important to stay home and raise the kids ourselves than put them in daycare.  We don't have any famiily that can help with babysiting.  I have been home since DD was born seven + years ago.  All our adoption fees were in our savings acct, so there wasn't anything to pay off.  Occasionally I will babysit a friends kid after school everyday for weeks (shift changes) and they give me a little something, but I do it more to help my friends out than for money. 

 

harmony7
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 5:27 PM

How did you become a sahm? .were you always or did you decide when you had kids

It was a decision we made before we had children, in fact before we were married that our children would not go to daycare whether I stay home or he did did not matter but someone was going to be home for them.

How do you find being a one income family?

My staying at home did not makes us a one income family. God has always provided a way for us to make additional monies.

 Do you work from home?

I started out by providing childcare in my home for sixteen years. Then we moved back to Alabama and I only had two of the seven kids at home during the day so I started cleaning houses. I took them with me..so not really at home but only worked two days a week and kiddies were with me.  I raised show dogs, boxers- did some showing and selling puppies...good bloodlines were in demand. Cant do that in this economy and showing cost too much now.

When youngest started school I went to work outside of home for 11 years but husband became a stay at home Dad... he trades finacial futures from home. I lost my job due to economy a few months ago and now I am a stay at home mom full time but we are older and are debts are just the house, all others are paid.

For those with adoption fees how do you make ends meet? I would love to at least cut back to part time but I am worried we will be stressed and struggle to pay all our bills. Thoughts?

We adopted from foster care so no expenses...We are quite frugal with our monies.If it is not a true Need we dont buy it and before we do there is quite a bit of thought. 

A Mom to nine sons and one daughter with six still at home!
3gifts.from.god
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 6:49 PM

How did you become a sahm? were you always or did you decide when you had kids?

When we were matched with our kids, the county and agency agreed that the placement should be conditional on that I be a stay at home mom because of my children's particular needs. Now that we have finalized, I choose to remain a stay at home mom because with my kids, and the issues they have, yeah, the county was totally right about them needing a SAHM

How do you find being a one income family? Do you work from home?

I sometimes babysit for other people (this brings in a good $400 - $500 per month usually), and make hairbows with some friends of mine (although I wouldn't really call this an income, because we use all the money we make to get pedicures and have dinner for a Mom's night out LOL)

For those with adoption fees how do you make ends meet? Foster Care Adoption does not cost a thing. The county and Agency pay for everything except the fingerprinting, which we got reimbursed for when we finalized our adoption.

I would love to at least cut back to part time but I am worried we will be stressed and struggle to pay all our bills. Thoughts?

Foster care adoption can come with a monthly stipend for families who need the extra financial assistance to be able to afford more children. (That said, it definately does not cover the entire cost of raising the kid, but it does help) We get a stipend because it is the only way we would be able to afford me to stay home where they need me right now. Me becoming a SAHM was kind of a financial leap of faith. We always end up with enough for our bills and to pay for the kids' activities.

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Allison489
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 1:52 AM

 

Quoting rainbowsrock:

How did you become a sahm?

I got laid off of my job a few weeks before our adoption was final.  Within minutes, we realized that God was making a way for our family and kids to get what they needed--a full-time at-home parent (preferably mom).

were you always or did you decide when you had kids?

I was the primary breadwinner, so we expected that I would continue working.  Since all of the children we adopted were school-aged, we started out thinking that would be feasible, but their special needs (RAD, PTSD, bipolar disorder) have made going back to work infeasible. 

How do you find being a one income family?

It can be challenging.  Technically, we are not a one-income family because we receive adoption subsidy, due to the kids' special needs, that helps replace part of my former income.  I look forward to being able to work again when the kids' needs are less, but that hasn't happened yet.  In the meantime, we can and do survive on what we have by making sure that we live within our means (debt is very expensive) and by making my at-home time work for us.  Working is expensive.  As a SAHM, I have time to shop more carefully, do not have to pay for convenience items, such as pre-prepared foods, eating out because I didn't have time to cook, hiring people to take care of things I don't have time for, etc.  Our kids are also doing much better with me at home, which really cuts the convenience budget for us. 

Do you work from home?   Not for money, but my days are full anyway, between being Chief of Operations in our home and all of the kids' appointments and therapies.

For those with adoption fees how do you make ends meet?  No fees--we adopted through foster care.

I would love to at least cut back to part time but I am worried we will be stressed and struggle to pay all our bills. Thoughts?

You will be stressed and will struggle to pay all of your bills if you don't also make the lifestyle adjustments that will enable you to live within your new means.  But that's not as bad as it may seem.  On the days when my kids' mental-health issues are really severe, having gotten a smoking deal on meat or produce while shopping earlier in the day can feel like an island of accomplishment in a sea of frustration.  We've had to adjust our expectations and have made many lifestyle changes, but most of them haven't left us feeling deprived.  The ones that have--oh well, you can't have everything.

 

meam4444
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:51 AM

 I became a sahm when I had our first daughter.  We decided when we had children, it would be best for me to stay at home.  Also, I would have to drive over an hour each way for where occupations are for my field of work.  I guess we have done pretty well on one income family.  Of course, we have it where things get a little tight at times, but everything usually comes together. 

Amy127
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 5:56 PM
We get Foster care reimbursement for our DS that will continue after adoption also. He is labeled medically fragile due to his many medical conditions that requires many specialists and tons of therapy appointments. We still had to make major financial adjustments, I just played my tips on the spin off post.
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rainbowsrock
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:16 PM

Thanks for all the responses ladies. I am a good saver, there is no issue there however, we are in debt with our adoption, house etc. I have going part time as a goal for the future. Just may not be able to do it as soon as I would like to. I love my job but I love being home with my baby more :)

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