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Questions...Domestic vs. International adoption (piog)

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:27 AM
  • 14 Replies
So good news...Our application was accepted!!! Which means we can move on to our homestudy process.
Our options with this agency are Ethiopia or domestic infant adoption with a program for Georgia (US).
The domestic infant adoption from Georgia is fast (9-18mo) while Ethiopia is a max of 3yrs. They both cost the same.
Our initial choice was the Georgia program but now, after reading what some birth moms have to say, I might be having second thoughts...
My husband and I want to go where the greatest need is. Our hearts are open. Is there a greater need overseas? Are domestic adoptions not really what they seem?
Also, is it too late to change our minds since they already mailed us the paperwork for Georgia? Hopefully you ladies can give me some advice...I have so much running through my head and I need some clarity. Thanks!
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by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mom2be360
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:50 AM
Congr and thats,what I like to do god blessed you yes im so vry happy for you. And just start a baby shower .
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meam4444
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:33 AM

 Welcome to the group!  Here is a bump for you.  I am in the beginning process too.

mcginnisc
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:36 PM

I can tell you about our process....we discussed adoption at the age of 16 on our very first date. We both had the desire to adopt from China. Many years went by before we knew we were ready. We endured many years of infertility, fertility drugs and then the death of our daughter Kahlan at 36 weeks. A year went by before I was able to discuss adoption as I was too entrenched in my grief. I had been researching and reading about adoption for several years before this though. 

Dh and I knew that we could not go through the loss of another child. This is why we chose not to go through the Foster Care system. FC's purpose is the reunification of the natural family, which is the way it should be and we were not equipped to relinquish a child after bonding after losing a child already. It was too fresh and would be too difficult for us to deal with. 

For us, DIA was not an option. I know too many first moms that were coerced into relinquishing and I could not embark on that process when I knew that many agencies pressure women to relinquish. 

We chose China. Both of us knew there was a need there and we had been dreaming of a child from China for many years at that point- 14 to be exact. We began the process for China on 3/10/05 and recieved our referral on 2/1/07. It was a 17 month process...however, it is now over 5 years for China. 

IA is very unpredictable. The wait can shorten or lengthen at any time. In all honesty, it would benefit you greatly to research the adoption process for Ethiopia as well as the culture, language, etc...you need to know if travel is involved ( I believe Ethiopia requires both parents for a certain amount of time before finalization, but I could be wrong), hidden fees,etc...

By the way..if you are located in Georgia, I will warn you that Georgia requires a current homestudy every year, as well as notarization of documents and county authentications of every notarized document. Those fees add up quickly. Your adoption fees will NOT include the county authentications, notarizations, medical co-pays, and a ton of other little fees...also, if your paperwork expires before referral for the USCIS ( homeland security), you will have to refile as well as have new fingerprints done as the US government does not store them longer than a year. Those fees were $70 per person for federal fingerprints and $585 for the USCIS document and that was 5 years ago.. I know the fees are higher now, so if I were you, I would add in at least 1 more fingerprinting for county, state and federal as well as another HS for Georgia and another USCIS document into your equation for IA. It has changed a lot over the past 5 years since we adopted Lilly, but I know the fees have increased significantly. 

I'm not telling you this to discourage you..just giving you a heads up as to what to expect. We were blindsided by the extra fees due to expiration since the wait lengthened so much while we waited. 

There is a great need in FC as well as in IA. In DIA there is more demand than supply as more women are parenting their children rather than relinquishing. 

Claire

" I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Moderator- Healthy Weight Loss

JenniJayne
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:17 PM
Due to the ages of our children, adoption from foster care isn't an option for us right now :( I'll look more into the "hidden costs" of Ethiopia before we make our final decision, thanks :)
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JACAR2010
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:31 PM

Aren't there over 250,000 children entering the foster/adoption system every year right here in the U.S.?

SarahSuzyQ
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:07 PM

I know I said this in the other group, but I want to say it here too... For people who are also considering different types of adoption, and reading through some of our posts. Hope you don't mind reading the same thing twice, Jenni! :)

As far as the age of children to foster/adopt, you can always specify an age range that you will accept for placement. Many people choose to only foster children who are younger than their youngest child. If you only want an infant, it may mean that you wait longer, but you do not just have to (nor should you) accept any kiddo they call you on. It's important in foster/adopt to really consider how different ages and needs might or might not work within your family.

Quoting JenniJayne:

Due to the ages of our children, adoption from foster care isn't an option for us right now :( I'll look more into the "hidden costs" of Ethiopia before we make our final decision, thanks :)


GilMichelini
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:12 PM

Yes, there are 250,000 coming into Foster Care and 240,000 going out. At any one time, there are between 113,000 and 115,000 available for adoption. Of these, about 57,000 are adopted each year.

Adopting Foster children takes a special person who can work with children with emotional baggage.  Most of the children have experienced things in their short lives that no human should exeperience. Parents who are able to take of this role have my highest respect.

GilMichelini
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:18 PM
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Congrads on your progress! May I suggest you your husband talk about your goals with the adoption. This will help you select where you are to adopt from.

May I also suggest never to look at adoption as a way to fullfil a need. To every orphan, not having a permanent family is the greatest need. I adopted because I belived it was a spiritual calling on my life. I adopted from Guatemala because that's where my daughter was born.

Hope this helps.

SheezCraftyNot
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 6:52 PM

Congratulations!  We are choosing to adopt domestically for many reasons (we are pro life, we have family members that were adopted domestically, we have family members who've placed a child(ren) for adoption, to name a few).  While going through our homestudy, our agent required specific book reading and adoption classes to be taken.  During that process, and looking at our own families' experiences, we knew to separate the fact from fiction, and the many myths about domestic adoption. 

I agree with discussing with your husband - you may even find yourselves changing your mind - hopefully, your agency allows you to either change your  mind or open your hearts to both, and see how your baby finds you.  Friends of ours have adopted from China (they have an uncle that was a POW from there), from Russia (the husband was an orphan and from Russian descent) and domestically.  Different answers work for different families.  Good luck!

Amy127
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 7:24 PM
Welcome to the group! I don't know much about international adoption but looks like you've gotten some great input already.
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