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Just wondering, for those who have adopted, does your child have any biological siblings? Do you have (or plan to have) any kind of sibling contact?

This is a subject that has been on my mind quite a bit lately, as our 4yo does have a younger half-sister whom he met during some of his foster care bio visits. Because our adoption has still not been finalized, we currently do not have a plan in place for future contact with any of his birth family... But obviously this is something that is on our minds, as we consider what scenarios will be healthy and/or helpful for our son.

by on Mar. 7, 2012 at 8:26 PM
Replies (31-33):
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:44 AM

Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

Thanks for sharing, Carla. This post is over a year old, but it recently got bumped up. In our situation, it has turned out that Baby Sister was returned to her original foster family, parental rights were terminated, and adoption should be finalized soon. So we are able to do regular visits without concern, and we see them every other month or so.

Oh, how funny!!  I don't know how I saw the question you asked I was responding too!!  I should have gone back and looked, I would have seen I had answered it before!

And yes, I saw the big brother's facebook page, and saw that he is VERY profane and he was talking about barely escaping jail time.  I was pretty shocked because he was always so quiet and humble acting when he was around me.  I decided at that point that he wouldn't be a good guy to see very often.  I would still invite him at holidays, though, but I wouldn't pursue it like I had originally thought - which was that I wanted to see him quite a bit because I felt so sorry for him.  He behaves very well when he's around us, I had no idea he had this "other life!"

Carla Raley, wife of Bill, mom of 12, foster mom of more than 50
Visit my blogs for stories of the life of an older mom raising a large family, foster/adoption and homeschooling

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:47 AM

we adopted our son at birth, he has two older bio-brothers he has met once. When he was three we welcomed our surprise (20th anniversary surprise) they are brother and sister to the TEE.. he knows he is adopted his bio grandma has been here three times and I am sure more visits will be happening. They live several hours away we treat them like family and they treat all of us like family.. When we had our daughter they were all like they have a baby sister, a new baby grand daughter and so on.. it was so awesome.. 

by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:31 PM

 My daughter has 10 siblings.  We just got 2 of them in our care. We are supposed to have sibling contact with the youngest sibling but that has only happened once and there is a big court battle going on over her... Soooo if the wrong person is granted custody we  may never see her again. :(   We aren't sure where the others are but our children's case worker was going to be looking for our daughters 2 closest older siblings.  

My son has 3 siblings and they are older and we were advised against any contact.  :(  I am sure that someday we will have contact though, when our son is older.

I think that sibling contact is important if they know about the sibling.  If not that is up to you to decide.  I plan to tell my dd when she starts understanding her circumstances.  It seems impossible to find them all but we will try if she chooses.

I am probably the wrong person to ask because everything we've been through has made me incredibly paranoid but I would wait to have any contact that wasn't court ordered until the adoption was final.  The batte we are seeing is with a foster parent and a biological relative... Its completely scary and insane.

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