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5 Moms Share the Moment They Felt the Most Judged

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:50 PM
  • 4 Replies

5 Moms Share the Moment They Felt the Most Judged

Posted by Deborah Cruz

breastfeedingAs mothers, many of us have had moments that have left us feeling mommy guilt or second-guessing our own maternal instincts. Sometimes these feelings come from within, not living up to our own expectations, and sometimes the feelings of inadequacy in parenting come from the judgment of other parents.

Here, five women share the moment they felt most judged as a parent.

"I confirmed to a coworker that, yes, I was pregnant again. It was my third (and last) pregnancy and my fourth child (my oldest are twins). She said, 'My goodness! Don't you know what birth control is?' What SHE didn't know is that I have a certain degree of infertility, and required treatment to conceive each of my pregnancies." -- Kymberli Barney

"People see me use a bottle for my son, despite them not knowing he was 11 weeks early and unable to breastfeed. I pumped up until about a month ago and he still gets partial breast milk (I pumped & froze) with his preemie formula." -- Leslie Matteson

"When I was pregnant with my first child, I began having severe panic attacks. In a period of 72 hours, I got no more than 3 hours of sleep. I thought I was losing my mind and ended up in the ER. After much guilt and consultation with several doctors, I decided to take medicine. I was prescribed an anti-depressant to help with the panic attacks. They had me convinced that I was damaging my unborn child. I would email my doctors constantly for reassurance." -- Unknown Mami

"I had three kids, ages 2, 4, and 6. I was a complete mess trying to juggle preschool and kindergarten and nap-time and diapers. I also had absolutely NO help and nobody ever offered to lend a hand. One day when I was taking my youngest to preschool, she started crying that she didn't want to be there. I had no sleep the night before and was exhausted and couldn't deal with her whining. I ended up just picking her up and taking her home, telling the teacher that I wasn't going to leave her there that day. I got the two youngest back in the car and yelled at the 4-year-old to put on her seat belt because she didn't want to do it. Someone heard me yelling at her and told the preschool director ... who then went and told a bunch of other people she was going to call CPS on me." -- Carolyn West

"When I was really pregnant with my second child, I was shopping with the first who is highly ADHD. In about two seconds, he stood up and flipped himself out of the cart onto the cement floor. People were looking at me like I was the devil. He was screaming his lungs out. I was sitting on the floor with him hugging him. People were walking by me making nasty comments about how I let him fall and I wasn't watching him." -- Mimi Dibble

What was the moment that you felt most judged as a parent?

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:50 PM
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by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 3:50 PM
1 mom liked this
My son does have some delays as a result of the circumstances that originally brought him into foster care... And I really struggle with feeling like people are judging me, judging him, making assumptions... But I have had to learn that I don't owe an excuse or explanation to everyone we encounter. Neither does my son. He is a great kid, and I'm learning how to be a good mom. So we just leave it at that!
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by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:57 PM

Many have judged me when I tell them I gave a child up for adoption. It is horrible the things that others say. I have also been judged for being adopted, like I deserved it(in a bad way).

by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 9:33 AM

 we have been judged by distant family members, you know the ones... you only see them at the once in a while funeral, yep those ones... for adopting a child that is not white.... yep can we say KARMA? Our son heard them and said our family is a rainbow, God makes rainbows and they are colorful and beautiful.. it is sad when a small child has more common sense than an adult.

by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:41 PM

It only really bothers me when those closest to me judges my family or myself.  But, I get over it pretty fast--we all live the way we choose to.

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