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Open to advice on how to begin adoption? Places to contact?

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:02 AM
  • 23 Replies

We feel God is leading us to open our home and hearts to children needing a home.  At this point we are seeking advice to those parents who have successfully adopted their child, and if they have any pointers when going thru the process, we appreciate it.  I am also wondering if they recommend any certain adoption sites we should check?  Thank you so much.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mcginnisc
by Claire on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:05 AM


Welcome to the group! 

What route are you considering? 

Foster care? 

Foster to adopt? 

Domestic Infant?

International? 

If we know which route you are looking into, it will help us give you the information you are seeking. For instance, I'm an International Adoption mom, so I can give info about the Chinese process... there are tons of Foster adopt moms in here as well as Domestic Infant Moms as well. 


Claire

Moderator: Healthy Weight Loss & Adoptive Moms

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Join theAdoptive Moms group

sharlarose
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:14 AM

I would consider any route, I could foster to adopt, but I'd rather just adopt right out.  A few places online wanted us to pay them around $15,000 just to make up an info package for us.  That didn't even get us started  anywhere else.  I am looking for a plan that can be financed, and am looking to adopt a baby, or baby sibling pair. 

I am open to overseas adoption, or domestic.  ANY information would be sooooo helpful.


Thanks so much,

Sharla

Isaacsmom913
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:21 AM

Hello,

Our situation was different than most peoples experience-after my miscarriage 3 years ago I said to my friends Mom (who is a pastor) if you ever hear of a baby for adoption let us know-it was tounge in cheek because we're not rich, at the time we were DINKS and really how often do babes fall from teh sky?  Well in July of last year we got a call from her that a Mom needed to place her baby and were we still interested-he was born in September and our adoption of him was final in December.

So....I'd start there-tell people you want to be adopt.  You never know who knows someone who knows someone.

Find a local support group for adoptive parents-I wish we had found ours while we were in the between period of giving birth and the finalization.

 Call an adoption attorney in your area and find out what their fees are-believe me there is a WIDE range-we were told anywhere from $8000 to $15000 for our situation.

As for going through the actual process--know in your heart what kind of adoption (open/closed/semi-open) that you and your family are comfortable with and then be honest with your birth mother-and at the same token make sure the birth mother is honest with you as to what she expects! 

Good luck

sharlarose
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:00 AM

I'm not sure where to find local groups, I figured DHS might be able to help me. The one adoption attorney that called so far expected $15,ooo down, just to make a profile. I need to find one who will help me get financing to adopt. I am even open to giving the mother a home with us. We have a 3 bedroom house, and I only see my kids once a month and Summer, so it is pretty roomy here. I know some people like open adoption, but I'm not sure I could do that. I am willing to send pics of the baby/child, and updates, but to actually let the baby visit her, I dont think I can go that far. I am willing to foster to adopt too.

Sharla

SarahSuzyQ
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:25 AM
I will get back to this when I have more time, just wanted to say that foster care adoption is little to no cost, and there are many kids in need. I'm happy to share more about that later today when I get to my computer. :-)

Welcome to the group!
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meam4444
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:35 AM

bump

SarahSuzyQ
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:16 PM

Hi Sharla,

I see that you have said you are interested in adopting a baby. I will just say up front that you are very unlikely to have a baby placed with you for straight adoption if you are working through the foster care system. What is far more likely is that the baby (or very young child) would come to you first as a foster placement, and the parents would be given an opportunity for reunification first. If the parents were unable to mediate the circumstances that led to the child being removed (ie parenting or domestic violence classes, substance abuse testing, etc), then you as foster parent would have the opportunity to adopt the child that you had been raising this whole time. Most often, foster children remain in the care of their foster parents to be adopted if reunification is unsuccessful and there is no suitable family placement.

It does happen that you can have an infant placed for adoption through foster care, but it is very rare. Typically those are safe surrender situations (if you live in a state that has those laws in place) or a case where the parents' rights are immediately terminated due to egregious circumstances.

If you want to know more about foster parenting, or being dually licensed for foster care/adoption, I'm happy to share my own experience with you. Some states have begun phasing out the "foster to adopt" language and/or programs because it was misleading to foster families. There are times when a caseworker can make an educated guess about how a case might go based on previous knowledge of the BPs, but it is never guaranteed.

Foster parenting is incredibly rewarding, and sometimes you have the chance to support a family in crisis and see them do great things for their kids. Sometimes it is also very challenging and heart-breaking, particularly because we as FPs do not have much say in what happens to the kids placed into our homes.

If you are interested in learning more about foster care or foster adoption, the best thing to do is to go right to your state's homepage and search for foster care or adoption. Most states have a general info site, as well as a number to call for more info.

SarahSuzyQ
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:17 PM

There is some great information in this post from our group.

sharlarose
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Susie,

Thanks I will look up the information now. 

Even if I can help a kid by putting a little love and order in their lives, it will be worth it.  Adoption would be a plus, if it happened. 


Shar

SarahSuzyQ
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:25 PM
That is a great attitude to approaching foster care. Of course I am biased, and I do know it's not for everyone. You have to determine what is best for your family, and what God is calling you to do. Best of luck as you begin investigating the process.


Quoting sharlarose:

Susie,

Thanks I will look up the information now. 

Even if I can help a kid by putting a little love and order in their lives, it will be worth it.  Adoption would be a plus, if it happened. 


Shar


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