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Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

Getting A "Real" Job...Sigh...

Posted by on May. 10, 2012 at 12:10 PM
  • 15 Replies

I'm venting...so please feel free to ignore.

Since the IRS, Senator and the tax advocate don't seem to feel the need to actually refund us our adoption credit I've decided I need to go back to work at a "real" job.  One that doesn't pay me just on a commission basis, and one that I can do at night so I don't need to worry about day care--one very real reason why I needed to be a SAHM.  Sigh.

I'm so frustrated by the whole thing and hubby and I are arguing about it all the time because I'm so frustrated.  We need to finish paying off the attorney and can't do that if I'm not working--and I really dont' want them to reposess my kid.  LOL.  So I'm going to be applying for jobs today. 

Ok, vent over-feel free to tell me to put my big girl panties on and stop complaining!

by on May. 10, 2012 at 12:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
doodlebopfan
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2012 at 12:43 PM
2 moms liked this

 I know how frustrating it can be to have money that's inaccessible. It's hard not to "spend" that money, but you are going to have to act like it's an inheritance that is tied up in probate. Don't spend a dime of that money until  you get it in your account. No more wishing about trips, paying off attorneys, etc. The reason you and DH are fussing over it is because HE can't fix it for you both. His hands are equally tied, but he wants you to be happy. Frustrating for you both. :(  (Ok, there's the "stating the obvious part", LOL!)

The good news? No one is going to consider Isaac as collateral for your debts! LOL Is there a way that you can re-look at your finances and see if you can do some payment plans on some of your debts? You are going to have to think of it like you are NEVER getting the IRS money because you simply are not guaranteed that at this point. Cross it off your list.

I hate that you are having to consider going back to work, but just know that you are supported in whatever decisions you are having to make for your family. No one knows your situation better than you do. Good luck and vent away!

mcginnisc
by Claire on May. 10, 2012 at 2:03 PM

Doodle said it! 

Claire

Moderator: Healthy Weight Loss & Adoptive Moms

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

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meam4444
by on May. 10, 2012 at 3:51 PM

((hugs))

SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on May. 10, 2012 at 4:51 PM
This would be me, too, if I were waiting on these funds... So frustrating! Especially since you want to use them to pay off adoption bills, and that's what they're supposed to be for.

I think doodle makes a good suggestion, to try and think of it like money that's not going to be accessible for a while... Because sadly, that's pretty likely! It really stinks that it will impact your family so much in the meantime. :-\

I guess if you have to pay off the lawyer now, then can the refund just be fun money whenever you finally get it?

Ugh. Vent away. I hope the job thing works out.
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Isaacsmom913
by on May. 10, 2012 at 6:40 PM

I am looking at it like it's never coming--this is why I've decided to get a job.  We've done EVERYTHING-called teh senator, called the IRS, applied for an advocate.  NOTHING has worked.  Sigh.

Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

This would be me, too, if I were waiting on these funds... So frustrating! Especially since you want to use them to pay off adoption bills, and that's what they're supposed to be for.

I think doodle makes a good suggestion, to try and think of it like money that's not going to be accessible for a while... Because sadly, that's pretty likely! It really stinks that it will impact your family so much in the meantime. :-\

I guess if you have to pay off the lawyer now, then can the refund just be fun money whenever you finally get it?

Ugh. Vent away. I hope the job thing works out.


aprilz1225
by Silver Member on May. 10, 2012 at 6:46 PM

 honey i am sorry.

SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on May. 10, 2012 at 7:16 PM
I know you have. I can't imagine your frustration. :-\


Quoting Isaacsmom913:

I am looking at it like it's never coming--this is why I've decided to get a job.  We've done EVERYTHING-called teh senator, called the IRS, applied for an advocate.  NOTHING has worked.  Sigh.


Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

This would be me, too, if I were waiting on these funds... So frustrating! Especially since you want to use them to pay off adoption bills, and that's what they're supposed to be for.

I think doodle makes a good suggestion, to try and think of it like money that's not going to be accessible for a while... Because sadly, that's pretty likely! It really stinks that it will impact your family so much in the meantime. :-\

I guess if you have to pay off the lawyer now, then can the refund just be fun money whenever you finally get it?

Ugh. Vent away. I hope the job thing works out.



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jen1130
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2012 at 10:39 PM
What do they say about your credit? Is it still in processing? That is crazy that it is taking so long. I guess it could be taking longer for private adoption since you have to prove your expenses ??? I know ours only had to prove the kids were adopted and special needs qualification. I sent in so much info.
I just don't think yours should take this much more time: (
So sorry
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Isaacsmom913
by on May. 11, 2012 at 9:04 AM


Quoting jen1130:

What do they say about your credit? Is it still in processing? That is crazy that it is taking so long. I guess it could be taking longer for private adoption since you have to prove your expenses ??? I know ours only had to prove the kids were adopted and special needs qualification. I sent in so much info.
I just don't think yours should take this much more time: (
So sorry

Yes, we are still "under review"  We did get a letter advising that on June 11th they will let us know what further information they are requesting.  We've sent in EVERY credit card statement that corosponds with the attorneys bill, every canceled check, the home study expenditure, the hospital bill that we were responsible for.  TWICE we've sent in his certified adoption decree, and certificate. 

Ultimately I'd adopt Isaac a 1000 times over regardless of the refund--it's just frustrating to know that people tried to dupe the system and as a result those who didn't suffer.  I read that one family waited SIXTEEN MONTHS for their refund!  That is criminal!

jen1130
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2012 at 9:36 AM
I kind of wonder if it has anything to do with the offices for each state that handle them?
I am sorry: (
We got the letter you got as well it was 1/2 weeks later we got the refund.



Quoting Isaacsmom913:



Quoting jen1130:

What do they say about your credit? Is it still in processing? That is crazy that it is taking so long. I guess it could be taking longer for private adoption since you have to prove your expenses ??? I know ours only had to prove the kids were adopted and special needs qualification. I sent in so much info.
I just don't think yours should take this much more time: (
So sorry

Yes, we are still "under review"  We did get a letter advising that on June 11th they will let us know what further information they are requesting.  We've sent in EVERY credit card statement that corosponds with the attorneys bill, every canceled check, the home study expenditure, the hospital bill that we were responsible for.  TWICE we've sent in his certified adoption decree, and certificate. 


Ultimately I'd adopt Isaac a 1000 times over regardless of the refund--it's just frustrating to know that people tried to dupe the system and as a result those who didn't suffer.  I read that one family waited SIXTEEN MONTHS for their refund!  That is criminal!


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