Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

Has anyone gotten a match through an online photolisting?

Posted by on May. 21, 2012 at 1:29 AM
  • 15 Replies

We are now to the point of inquiring about children for a potential match. Since our paperwork with our private agency is not fully complete yet, but it is complete with the state, our private agency caseworker said we can begin searching for a potential match within the state (WA) through the online photo listings or through word-of-mouth. We found a few and sent the profile information to our caseworker.

I was just wondering if anyone here has gotten a match through an online photolisting.

by on May. 21, 2012 at 1:29 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
harmony7
by Bronze Member on May. 21, 2012 at 8:55 AM

 We did but it so happened that the three children we were interested in were living in our county so it was pretty smooth once I told them we were interested in these three boys. Remember though the ones on the listings are harder to place and may have significant problems and are often the victims of sexual abuse since those kids are the ones that most prospective parents say they are not willing to take.  

Pam in Alabama
A Mom to nine sons and one daughter with six still at home!
SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on May. 21, 2012 at 10:57 AM
I'm also interested in hearing more about this... I think we are going to take a break from fostering and pursue straight adoption of an older child, or at least that's what is currently on the table at my house. So... If we can't match through the photo listings, I'm not sure what we'll do. Many of the children require being the youngest or an only child, and that's limiting to us. I'm going to be asking our licensing worker how it works if we pursue adopt-only for a while.

I remember you guys having a pretty wide age range with no other kids in the house... So hopefully it will move quickly now that you're at the stage of your home being open! GL!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MamaEngineer
by Member on May. 21, 2012 at 3:37 PM


Quoting harmony7:

 Remember though the ones on the listings are harder to place and may have significant problems and are often the victims of sexual abuse since those kids are the ones that most prospective parents say they are not willing to take.  

Yes, we are very aware of the issues the child/teen will most likely have when joining our family and are willing to accept the behavioral issues and residual effects of sexual abuse. There are some things we are not willing to accept - known drug effect, known alcohol effect, autism, global delays, wheelchair/walker (we are not handicap accessible), abuse to animals (we have pets) and fire starters. Since we are not willing to accept drug/alcohol effect children, that eliminates many unfortunately, but we were able to develop a list of 14 potential children just from our state photolisting. Now we wait for input from our caseworker about which ones we should inquire about.

FlyingMommy747
by Member on May. 21, 2012 at 3:44 PM

I am not 100% sure exactly what a photolisting is.  We are in WA also, and we matched with our BM through www.ParentProfiles.com.

MamaEngineer
by Member on May. 21, 2012 at 3:45 PM


Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

I'm also interested in hearing more about this... I think we are going to take a break from fostering and pursue straight adoption of an older child, or at least that's what is currently on the table at my house. So... If we can't match through the photo listings, I'm not sure what we'll do. Many of the children require being the youngest or an only child, and that's limiting to us. I'm going to be asking our licensing worker how it works if we pursue adopt-only for a while.

I remember you guys having a pretty wide age range with no other kids in the house... So hopefully it will move quickly now that you're at the stage of your home being open! GL!

Sarah, our age range is 5 to 18, so yes it is very wide and we do not have any other children in our home. We have found that most of the children on the photolisting are over age 10. The ones on our list are age 11-17 with most over age 14. Yes, many need to be the youngest or an only. There are a few that do well with younger siblings, you just need to read through the profiles. I would also recommend Google search "adopting out of birth order" and read articles about this. There are pros and cons to adopting out of birth order.

Even though you are interested in adopt-only, keep up your foster license. I have been told by several caseworkers, including our current one, that it helps with placement, especially interstate adoptions.

MamaEngineer
by Member on May. 21, 2012 at 3:51 PM


Quoting FlyingMommy747:

I am not 100% sure exactly what a photolisting is.  We are in WA also, and we matched with our BM through http://www.parentprofiles.com/.

For older children in Foster Care, caseworkers can post profiles of available children on photolistings such as https://www.nwae.org/PhotoIndex-WARE-dbC.php?tn=3. The Northwest Adoption Exchange features children in WA, OR, ID and AK. There are other photolistings that feature children from all 50 states plus some US territorities. Most of the children on the photolistings are already legally free (parental rights have been terminated by the state), but not all.

SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on May. 21, 2012 at 4:14 PM
In our state you have to be foster licensed to adopt a waiting child, because of the required 6 months of fostering before you can finalize. In addition, our current license will expire before we finalize our adoption of our 4yo foster son, so we have no choice but to renew!

I have mixed feelings about the various adoption birth order theories, fwiw. Somebody always loses their place, whether it's the adoptee or the child already in the home.

In the case of photos listing kids, I understand it's more about safety around other children, not so much birth order.

Quoting MamaEngineer:



Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

I'm also interested in hearing more about this... I think we are going to take a break from fostering and pursue straight adoption of an older child, or at least that's what is currently on the table at my house. So... If we can't match through the photo listings, I'm not sure what we'll do. Many of the children require being the youngest or an only child, and that's limiting to us. I'm going to be asking our licensing worker how it works if we pursue adopt-only for a while.

I remember you guys having a pretty wide age range with no other kids in the house... So hopefully it will move quickly now that you're at the stage of your home being open! GL!

Sarah, our age range is 5 to 18, so yes it is very wide and we do not have any other children in our home. We have found that most of the children on the photolisting are over age 10. The ones on our list are age 11-17 with most over age 14. Yes, many need to be the youngest or an only. There are a few that do well with younger siblings, you just need to read through the profiles. I would also recommend Google search "adopting out of birth order" and read articles about this. There are pros and cons to adopting out of birth order.


Even though you are interested in adopt-only, keep up your foster license. I have been told by several caseworkers, including our current one, that it helps with placement, especially interstate adoptions.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
harmony7
by Bronze Member on May. 21, 2012 at 6:39 PM

 

Quoting MamaEngineer:

 

Quoting harmony7:

 Remember though the ones on the listings are harder to place and may have significant problems and are often the victims of sexual abuse since those kids are the ones that most prospective parents say they are not willing to take.  

Yes, we are very aware of the issues the child/teen will most likely have when joining our family and are willing to accept the behavioral issues and residual effects of sexual abuse. There are some things we are not willing to accept - known drug effect, known alcohol effect, autism, global delays, wheelchair/walker (we are not handicap accessible), abuse to animals (we have pets) and fire starters. Since we are not willing to accept drug/alcohol effect children, that eliminates many unfortunately, but we were able to develop a list of 14 potential children just from our state photolisting. Now we wait for input from our caseworker about which ones we should inquire about.

 My children were sexual abused, drug effect and low IQs and other delays..oh and even though they have been here two years...we now have a new one...starting those fires...problem was we were not told of most of the problems until we adopted them and then the therapist who had been working with them for 4 years told us he could finally fill us in on all the issues. DHR.... which included their worker, CASA, therapy worker, my worker and the foster parents.. had forbidden him to speak up prior due to Hippa laws. ....BUT I will say this...the first 22 months were just unbelievable but we are making progress and things are finally seeming to mellow out....even with J just about blowing the barn up.

DONT get me wrong..I am ALL for adopting from the waiting list...All for it...it was our calling and the thing we wanted to do as a family and we would totally do it again!

Even though our children were legally free we also had to foster until the adoption was final so we had to get our foster license.

Pam in Alabama
A Mom to nine sons and one daughter with six still at home!
meam4444
by on May. 21, 2012 at 6:54 PM

I don't know much about this, but here is a bump for you.

HousewifeNina
by on May. 21, 2012 at 6:59 PM
The only child who fit our parameters in our area of the state was sexually abused. I have a now 2 year old, so sex abuse was out.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)