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Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

New- need advise on choosing a country

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 5:23 PM
  • 19 Replies

We are just starting our adoption journey & need help choosing a country so we can choose an agency & get this started. I am 27 & my husband is 26. We have been married for 3 1/2 years. We have a 15 month old child. I am leaning towards Asian countries but we are open to considering all other countries as well. We are looking at lower cost countries if possible & faster countries (I understand none are fast but looking at the faster ones). We are hoping to adopt an infant girl. We are also open to adopting a male sibling as well, twin or young brother under 2 or 3. Maybe we have too many criterias. Any advise on countries to look at?

by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 5:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Hyacinth72
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 5:28 PM
I think China you need to be 30 years of age. Just curious why international? Adopting domestically can be much faster. I do realize some want only international though. I am not sure about Korean laws. I have a friend who has adopted twice from Korea. Her husband was born there.
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terribeth07
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 6:11 PM

I have always wanted to adopt internationally & there are SO many children around the world that need adopted.  Yes China you have to be 30.  I think Korea is one of the more expensive countries to adopt from.

Hyacinth72
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 6:26 PM
I agree many children do have needs around the world. I just sometimes feel people choose international because they aren't properly educated on domestic. I am not sure of other Asian countries that are Hague accredited but we haven't looked into it in over three years now.
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Hyacinth72
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 6:28 PM
On a side note we were very interested in either Ethiopia or India when we first started researching. We did however get both of our children at birth from different states within the USA.
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aprilz1225
by Silver Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 7:38 PM

 korea is very cheap big guide lines personally... you can't be too far over you hight and weight must be within a certian % of your BMI (yep) they also perfer both parents college educated, and one of asian decent. That was the last I read earlier this year. but it does cost about 7500.00 wich is nice. aqt one point we were thinking of interational adoption we look at Russian and another County in Europe... (forgot the same sorry i can't think with the quiet here lol....)but it involved soooo much travel and rules, spending time with the cild for a few weeks and then you would have to leave then come back later to adopt... way too much for us. good luck momma!

mcginnisc
by Claire on Jun. 23, 2012 at 7:43 PM

It is a very personal decision about choosing a country program. You need to research each program extensively and decide which program is the best fit for your family. 

I can tell you that we adopted from China 5 years ago. We had both wanted to adopt from China as children so it was a natural progression for us to choose that program when we were ready. Our process took over 2 years, but the current wait is over 6 years and climbing. 

Having a lot of options will be easier for you to be matched with a child depending on the program that you choose. For instance, for us, we specified a girl ( since it was China), age 0-2 and we were open to twins as well. Our dd was 15.5 months old at referral and honestly, I was quite happy with the fact that we only got the referral for one child as Lilly did grieve once we met her and it would have been more difficult to handle 2 grieving babies while in China. 

Let me know if you have any questions. 

Claire

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" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

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SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jun. 23, 2012 at 8:54 PM

Welcome, I know we have a lot of international adoptive moms in here... Hopefully you'll get some helpful tips! I am not one, nor did we ever consider international adoption. I have had a lifelong interest in kids in foster care here in the US. Sorry I can't offer advice, only wish you the best as you start on your adoption journey. :)

WritingMom777
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 1:28 PM

China is a great country to adopt from because they have been doing it for a long time so that the process is very regulated but predictable.  They DO have a lot fewer completely healthy infants because they are encouraging adoption in their own country.  Until recently, adoption in China was sort of like adoption here in the US in the 50's and 60's.  People didn't consider it an acceptable option for having children.  So the wait is a few years now, I think.  

That said, there are hundreds of thousands of children with special needs.  Some of these "needs" are very minor and often surgically correctable.  We started out in the "healthy infant" program and then fell in love via a picture of our son posted on the "special needs" page.  His cleft lip had already been surgically repaired.  He recently had a cleft gum (small hole in his gum) repaired here in the US.  We are so glad we saw that photo and he is now our son!  

Also remember that some very healthy children are considered "special needs" because they have not been adopted but are no longer infants.  However, there ARE many children with severe needs.  Keep in mind that if you go that route that YOU choose which sorts of special needs that you would consider.  So if you said that the only special need you would consider was, say, albinism (a very mild disability) then you wouldn't be presented with a child who needs major heart surgery.

Best Wishes in your adoption process!!  It is very exciting, scary, and fulfilling - all at the same time!

Malley
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 1:53 PM
What about Guatemala, or does no one adopt from there anymore? My friend adopted a little girl from there about 6 years ago.
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terribeth07
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 5:31 PM

Thank you all for your advise, keep it coming.  I have been doing some research but it seems like every site says different things about which is less expensive.  We can't adopt from China because we're not old enough & I don't want to have to wait 5 or 6 years to bring our child home!  I know no country is QUICK but don't want to wait that long.  I know it will be 1-2 years for all countries.  I think Guatemala is closed for adoptions right now & theres are more expensive.  Looking for the lower cost countries & also maybe ones who have a lesser cost for the 2nd sibling if we decide to adopt 2.  I have always wanted to adopt internationally so we would prefer to do that over local adoption.  Not because it's "cool" or anything.  We have a 15 mo old so can't go travel for more than 2 weeks & would prefer somewhere with only 1 trip. 

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