Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anyone dealt with physically aggressive kids?

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 2:31 PM
  • 7 Replies
Long story short, we gained custody of our DS at 23 months and adopted at a later date. By the time we got him the damage had already been done. So far he has a diagnosis of RAD (reactive attachment disorder), ODD (oppositional defiance disorder), ADHD, and borderline ASD. Possible fetal alcohol effect. He has come leaps & bounds since we first got him but i feel like we are heading into uncharted territory. Since school has gotten out I'm having a terrible time with physical aggression aimed towards me. He hit me so hard across the face last night my cheeked swelled. And just a few minutes ago we had another tussle. They are over very mundane things or events. I have doctor and therapy appointments lined up but just wondering if anyone has any ideas, experience, or thoughts on what to do. He has little to no empathy. There are no consequences for him. NONE. He has no attachment to anything so you can take away everything from him and he doesn't care. He doesn't really play, he follows me around absolutely all day. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. My patience is running very low and it's only 1:30 in the afternoon.
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 2:31 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
Malley
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 2:56 PM
How old is he? Is he on meds?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ash522
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 3:33 PM
[quote name="Malley" id="0"]How old is he? Is he on meds?

[/quoteA
He is 6 yo now. We're in the process of trying different meds. As of now he is not on any, he's had bad side effects from what he's tried. New doctor on the 16th.
Malley
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 6:05 PM

Derek has just turned 5 and has been physically aggressive with me. I do time ins where he sits by me or I hold him on my lap and I hand out immediate consequences. He is much better than he used to be, he was very angry when his mother moved out and took it out on me. I also watch for triggers liking being hungry or tired. He wants my attention alot, much more than the baby who can entertain himself pretty well.  During the summer we have a rest period after lunch so I can get a little break for 30 minutes. He has to stay on his bed and can watch tv or whatever he wants as long as he stays there. Don't know if yours would do that, though.

maggiemom2000
by Bronze Member on Jun. 24, 2012 at 6:35 PM

I found this book to be very helpful. It really addresses the issue of kids who do not respond to consequences! For only $10 I found it to be worth every penny. Did it solve all of our problems? No, but it really helped me to reframe things and bteere manage the angry outbursts.

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children [Paperback]

Ross W. Green

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
 
 

ash522
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 7:07 PM
Ooohhhh...thanks! I haven't seen that book yet- thanks! Off to Amazon I go.
Quoting maggiemom2000:

I found this book to be very helpful. It really addresses the issue of kids who do not respond to consequences! For only $10 I found it to be worth every penny. Did it solve all of our problems? No, but it really helped me to reframe things and bteere manage the angry outbursts.

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children [Paperback]

Ross W. Green
The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
 
 

ash522
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 7:15 PM
Mine hates being alone. Which I understand given his past history. He will not stay in his room unless its bedtime and even then its a fight. However, as I'm sure you understand, I need a break! He can't give me even 10 min. After exercising yesterday (he did it with me of course) I tried taking a shower- he kept knocking on the door, talked under the door, and even went into the next room & talked to me through the vent! Maybe i'm asking for to much? My 2 yo can keep himself busy all day, he just wants me for the occasional hug & food....lol!
Quoting Malley:

Derek has just turned 5 and has been physically aggressive with me. I do time ins where he sits by me or I hold him on my lap and I hand out immediate consequences. He is much better than he used to be, he was very angry when his mother moved out and took it out on me. I also watch for triggers liking being hungry or tired. He wants my attention alot, much more than the baby who can entertain himself pretty well.  During the summer we have a rest period after lunch so I can get a little break for 30 minutes. He has to stay on his bed and can watch tv or whatever he wants as long as he stays there. Don't know if yours would do that, though.


HarrisonMD
by Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 11:10 AM

Be extremely careful with him...I don't want to scare you, but a child that has no empathy and doen't care about the consequences tends to develop into a sociopath. Now before anybody bashes that....hold that thought! He can be worked with...I PROMISE! Find a good medication for him ASAP and even though it may be tiring for you...get him involved into physical activities that will wear him out and run off that energy....THEY HAVE LOTS OF IT!!! I am speaking from experience....my two children who are adopted, their older brother is going through the same things and he's 15! Some of his "reactions" to his violence is friggin scary! BUT....the good news is that he is involved in alot of physical acitivies of which he learns responsibility! It helps b/c he knows he has "no" normal feelings and most of the time he wants to try and be normal! Good luck honey!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)