We are finally headed to court to adopt our foster son this summer, after 25 long months. We have invited family members to attend the finalization, and then we are having a celebration that includes friends afterwards. Both of our families are very excited, so I think we might have a LOT of people in court with us.
Who went to court with you when you finalized your adoption(s)?
No one. Our lawyer was so negative and had us so worried that the adoption would not be final that we didn't invite anyone. My dh wanted to ask his mother and sister to come, but the lawyer didn't want them to cause drama. Huh? My MIL is like the Catholic Mother of the Year type and my SIL is a very business like pragmatic person and the lawyer has never met either of them. I still can't figure out why our lawyer kept making comments that the adoption might not go through. She had us so stressed we were on the verge of hysteria when we walked into that courtroom and then I could tell we had that judge at "hello" lol. The SW from the state did tell me that the district our lawyer usually went to court in has some over the top family rights type judges who in a situation like ours could well have ordered parenting classes for my daughter and tried to make her parent instead of letting us adopt.
We had "court" in China so it was Heath, myself, Lilly, my MIL and GMIL...along with the other 15 families that were finalizing as well.
Then, when we came home and went through the readoption process, it was just the 3 of us and our attorney. Since our adoption had been finalized by US and Chinese standards for 6 months, there was no reason for anyone else to go with us. It was more of a formality so that we could get a US BC at that point.
Quoting Malley:No one. Our lawyer was so negative and had us so worried that the adoption would not be final that we didn't invite anyone. My dh wanted to ask his mother and sister to come, but the lawyer didn't want them to cause drama. Huh? My MIL is like the Catholic Mother of the Year type and my SIL is a very business like pragmatic person and the lawyer has never met either of them. I still can't figure out why our lawyer kept making comments that the adoption might not go through. She had us so stressed we were on the verge of hysteria when we walked into that courtroom and then I could tell we had that judge at "hello" lol. The SW from the state did tell me that the district our lawyer usually went to court in has some over the top family rights type judges who in a situation like ours could well have ordered parenting classes for my daughter and tried to make her parent instead of letting us adopt.
Bummer...your attorney sounds like she was a real peach.
It was just DH, myself and our DD along with our lawyer. We did video tape it to share with friends and family afterwards, and I am glad we did. At the most tense moment of the hearing, my DD who was 4 months old at the time decided to do a rasberry to the judge, it was hilarious and the whole courtroom cracked up.
We got a personal invitation card in the mail from the judge, it said... I am sending this invitation to invite you and as many supporters you have for your son's adoption ceromony (i love how he phrased it) on the date listed below. Please inform your guest that this is a semi formal court but mostly a family celebration and that semi causual atire is permitted. It is my pleasure and honor to be the finalizing judge for your family. Filming and photos through out the proceedings is warmly welcomed, we will provide tissues, drinks during as well as cupcakes after. This judge realy loved his job... down side... we were move'n from CA to PA with in the next Two days.. so it was just us and our Attorney... the court officer did the photos and waited on us hand and foot. small but perfect.. because no one could come and our son's birthday is on Christmas Day... We have a celebration every year for him on finalization day.
We live far away from of families so we did not invite them but we had my mentor (who was my sons first foster mom and is now called Nana :), My best friend from FL who is the godfather, my other best friend who is the godmother, three other friends who did our references for our home study, the Adoption worker, the guy who did our home study, and my sons main cw. That weekend we also dedicated our son at church and had big party after were there were about 50 friends. It was the best weekend:)
About a month later we visited our familes out of state so our son could meet all of his family. It envoled 4 plane rides, but he was an angel to whole time.
We are really fortunate that my family is able to make the trip out, since they live halfway across the country. I think they are all just so excited after the past two years to celebrate. So we planned our big party for when they will still be here... I'm a little overwhelmed, lol!
How old was your son when you adopted? I have been thinking about whether we wanted to do some kind of dedication with our church, but I just can't decide...
Quoting SunshineLovesT:We live far away from of families so we did not invite them but we had my mentor (who was my sons first foster mom and is now called Nana :), My best friend from FL who is the godfather, my other best friend who is the godmother, three other friends who did our references for our home study, the Adoption worker, the guy who did our home study, and my sons main cw. That weekend we also dedicated our son at church and had big party after were there were about 50 friends. It was the best weekend:)
About a month later we visited our familes out of state so our son could meet all of his family. It envoled 4 plane rides, but he was an angel to whole time.
That's so nerve-wracking and frustrating. :( Isn't this the same lawyer who also dragged his feet on helping you get a birth certificate? Ugh.
I have to confess, there is a little part of me that is very worried about bringing everyone along and having a party and setting this all up. What if the judge does do something different at the last minute? It isn't common in our area, but I have heard of that before... And you know how it is. Nothing's final until it's final. Trying not to focus on the "what ifs", at least as much as I can...
Quoting Malley:No one. Our lawyer was so negative and had us so worried that the adoption would not be final that we didn't invite anyone. My dh wanted to ask his mother and sister to come, but the lawyer didn't want them to cause drama. Huh? My MIL is like the Catholic Mother of the Year type and my SIL is a very business like pragmatic person and the lawyer has never met either of them. I still can't figure out why our lawyer kept making comments that the adoption might not go through. She had us so stressed we were on the verge of hysteria when we walked into that courtroom and then I could tell we had that judge at "hello" lol. The SW from the state did tell me that the district our lawyer usually went to court in has some over the top family rights type judges who in a situation like ours could well have ordered parenting classes for my daughter and tried to make her parent instead of letting us adopt.
Any vegan/vegetarian adoptive families out there? Soy formula vs cow's milk
- SarahSuzyQ
on Jul. 2, 2012 at 7:41 AM