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Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

So I've tried my best to keep my adopted daughter's adoption open with biomom, but I honestly don't know if I can deal with it anymore. I've given this woman extra visits, money, send her pictures all the time, even let her call the house..I bend over backwards all the time trying to keep peace and she is nothing but rude ALL THE TIME. She's made comments to my young daughter before saying that I'm "mean". She just finished telling my daughter about how "evil people called Social Workers stole" her and that's why they don't live together....really? because my daughter almost died because this bio"mom" was so neglectful. I've always thought it was best to let children have contact with biofamily if they wanted to but EVERYTIME we see her or tallk to her, I'm starting to feel more and more like I'm going TO SNAP!

I've tried setting up really specific rules like she's not allowed to say anything negative about me, not allowed to talk about certain subjects that upset my daughter, etc... She will NOT follow these rules! It's hard because more than half the time my daughter enjoys seeing her so I don't know what to do at all. We have bad visits, or bad phone calls where my daughter will want to leave early or something, but that's only sometimes. USUALLY my daughter is excited to see/talk to her.

I'm sorry for kindof ranting but if anyone has any advice, please please give it. I have no one in my life that understands this situation.

by on Jul. 8, 2012 at 5:48 PM
Replies (21-23):
Malley
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Ignore it. She wants to draw you into a fight. If you block her number, you can always undo it later.

Quoting StA123C:

Ah I'm fuming again...biomom sent me a text telling me about how her and "her daughter are a family." I'm "just the woman who takes care of her". Blocking her number right now before I cross the line and threaten to punch this woman or something!!!
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feralkitten
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:59 PM

you should not give this women contact again clearly she cant expect she no longer her daughter and this will be no good for your daughter in the long run its not helping her. it maybe hard at 1st but she will get over it  sometimes it easer just to say

" i have something to tell you ,  your not going to see your mum again till your much older it know its very upsetting but this is just something we have to exspect and when your much older i will be happy to sit down and talk to you about it " then ofer to do something really nice with her like cooking or a movie

I'm sorry your going threw this maybe worth giving your daughter something new in her life like girl scouts or dancing

Quoting StA123C:

Ah I'm fuming again...biomom sent me a text telling me about how her and "her daughter are a family." I'm "just the woman who takes care of her". Blocking her number right now before I cross the line and threaten to punch this woman or something!!!


meam4444
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 8:48 PM

Looks like you were given some good advice--wishing you the best with it all

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