So today is the court date for social services to ask for a paternity test. We can't be there because the boys are in Nebraska, and we are in Hawaii.
The case worker usually emails us, it's just easier with DH's work schedule and the time change... so I've been checking his email almost every 10 minutes. It's driving me crazy, this could make or break our getting custody of the kids.
From what we were told by several lawyers before the boys were in state custody, Nebraska does not see biological fathers as having rights unless they are on the birth certificate, we were told that we couldn't even petition the court for a test because there was another man on the BC. So we had to wait for CPS to hopefully step in and then for them to ask for a test, I'm just so sad it came at such a high cost (my 1 year old step son was beaten so badly he has shaken baby syndrome)
We are still very afraid that for whatever reason the judge will deny the social workers request for a paternity test.
How do you all stay sane while waiting to hear back about things like this?
*** UPDATE***
I emailed the case worker today and she got right back to me. Court went AMAZING!! We were granted the order for paternity!!! No date for the test yet, she said she had to wait for the paperwork to take to the power's that be and get things moving. Still haven't heard for Hawaii CPS either, but we're taking steps in the right direction!!
And I asked about updates on the boys seeing as how the grandmother will no longer answer emails, and she told us that the grandmother is very upset that we are going for the boys (which is understandable) so she will no longer be answering any emails or giving any updates... which is what we had figured was going on. Just frustrating because it would be nice to get pictures and updates, although case worker did hear that he loved his first taste of cake and that she would talk to the foster mother about maybe allowing us to email her so we can get pictures and updates.
So that's what is going on so far :) Steps in the right direction!
I do hope you hear back soon.
Quoting SarahSuzyQ:
Involvement with CPS is all about waiting, that's for sure. Sometimes I find it better to distract myself completely with a new book or project. Sometimes I try to focus on just what I can control; in your case, maybe choosing some of the photos you'd want to share with the boys. And sometimes, well, I just drive myself crazy. You know?
I do hope you hear back soon.
Thanks all,
I think most of the problem is that my 5 month old isn't feeling good today, so most of my day has been just sitting in the glider with him (thankfully he's back cat nappig in his pack and play now) so just a lot of time to sit and think.
I don't understand why CPS likes to take their sweet time. It seems like if there is a home who wants these kids, they would be happy and trying to get them into that home quickly.
And who knows how long it will be for the test to actually get done and get the results. DH's job has a huge issue with letting him for anything right now, because soliders were going crazy making appointments to get out of work.
Paternity tests here take 60-90 days for a result... Nothing to do with CPS, that's just the typical processing time when we take kids in for paternity testing. :-\
I hope that you will see forward progress, however slow it may feel, so that you can just keep chipping away at whatever it takes to get the boys home with you.
that's ace new about the test but at same time the should be telling the foster mum to send you photo its not right . as for gran well the cant make her but maybe they should talk to her about not burning her brides after all if you get these kids she will be wanting you to send photo ect
also if gran cant take the boys full time and need a foster carer help then its a no brainier the should come to live with you after text get back . i have nothing ageist grandparents looking after there grandkids in fact i have great respect for them but at same time if they can cope full time now and there only small then how she gona cope in a year. i say that about anyone no matter of there age
to exspaine i have to boys who are 3 (4 this month) and 1 ( 2 in sept ) . when my 1st son was one i thought he was hard work now i have 2 of them running about my house lol baby are not hard toddler are :)
Adoption Books.. Advice on good ones
- AimBre
on Jul. 9, 2012 at 6:17 PM