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Waiting to Hear How Court Went *IT WENT GOOD*

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So today is the court date for social services to ask for a paternity test. We can't be there because the boys are in Nebraska, and we are in Hawaii. 

The case worker usually emails us, it's just easier with DH's work schedule and the time change... so I've been checking his email almost every 10 minutes. It's driving me crazy, this could make or break our getting custody of the kids. 

From what we were told by several lawyers before the boys were in state custody, Nebraska does not see biological fathers as having rights unless they are on the birth certificate, we were told that we couldn't even petition the court for a test because there was another man on the BC. So we had to wait for CPS to hopefully step in and then for them to ask for a test, I'm just so sad it came at such a high cost (my 1 year old step son was beaten so badly he has shaken baby syndrome) 

We are still very afraid that for whatever reason the judge will deny the social workers request for a paternity test. 

How do you all stay sane while waiting to hear back about things like this? 


*** UPDATE***


I emailed the case worker today and she got right back to me. Court went AMAZING!! We were granted the order for paternity!!! No date for the test yet, she said she had to wait for the paperwork to take to the power's that be and get things moving. Still haven't heard for Hawaii CPS either, but we're taking steps in the right direction!!

And I asked about updates on the boys seeing as how the grandmother will no longer answer emails, and she told us that the grandmother is very upset that we are going for the boys (which is understandable) so she will no longer be answering any emails or giving any updates... which is what we had figured was going on. Just frustrating because it would be nice to get pictures and updates, although case worker did hear that he loved his first taste of cake and that she would talk to the foster mother about maybe allowing us to email her so we can get pictures and updates.

So that's what is going on so far :) Steps in the right direction! 

by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 6:17 PM
Replies (11-20):
AimBre
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:24 PM


Quoting feralkitten:

that's ace new about the test  but at same time the should be telling the foster mum to send you photo its not right . as for gran well the cant make her but maybe they should talk to her about not burning her brides after all if you get these kids she will be wanting you to send photo ect

I agree, we have no contact with these kids and I feel like they should be able to get to know us and now I know that grandma is not going to make that happen which means we may get to talk to them the 2 days they are in foster care. Exactly how she treats us now sets the tone for our whole relationship, and it's making my husband upset. He wants to be able to know how his son is doing other than "good" or "great" he wants to hear what he did that day, how is his therapy going, stuff like that.

With the grandmother we asked for pictures since December when she contacted us, she never sent any, until she found out we were going for Chris, then she sent us one and said we could view more on her husband's facebook... which is all private... when we pointed that out she said it was just our computers... but my husband does not want us to friend them on facebook (which I doubt they would accept now) because they friended the boys' mother. Which they had said she'd have no contact no communication with them or the boys... so I feel like once she found out we wanted the boys she turned to BM and I'm just waiting for the drama to all start up. 

feralkitten
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:28 PM

yes welcome to the world of drama i'm used to it lol. have you checked out everyone's face books for photo's if you don't feel right doing it send me there name privately and i will have a look without contacting or letting anyone know i'm doing it and try to get you some lol and no i dont do anything that breaks the law 

AimBre
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:37 PM


Quoting feralkitten:

yes welcome to the world of drama i'm used to it lol. have you checked out everyone's face books for photo's if you don't feel right doing it send me there name privately and i will have a look without contacting or letting anyone know i'm doing it and try to get you some lol and no i dont do anything that breaks the law 

BM still had DH friended for a little bit so I downloaded every picture she had of the boys (not very many) lol but they are all old pictures because she hasn't even tried to see them in almost a year.... and everyone else is private... I facebook stalk a little bit myself lol, I did find a cute video of Blaik putting together an ABC puzzle with his uncle, sooo cute... but since we weren't friends I couldn't save that :( 

But thank you for the offer!! 

feralkitten
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:51 PM

niver mind you will soon have them and then you can take all the photo you like :)

aprilz1225
by Silver Member on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:57 PM

 happy!!!! sounds like things aqre move'n along!

meam4444
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 8:44 PM

good

SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jul. 11, 2012 at 10:45 PM

Baby steps, baby steps.

I know it's frustrating, but until a judge rules in your favor GM is within her rights to not have contact. Once you have established paternity and there is movement in the direction of granting you custody, I think you will be able to push for some kind of contact... Or for the boys to spend more time with FM and less with GM. It's kind of odd to me that she has this partial custody/partial foster care going on anyway.

Whew. Do let us know how things are going. Thank you for updating, I had been wondering! 

AimBre
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 10:51 PM


Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

Baby steps, baby steps.

I know it's frustrating, but until a judge rules in your favor GM is within her rights to not have contact. Once you have established paternity and there is movement in the direction of granting you custody, I think you will be able to push for some kind of contact... Or for the boys to spend more time with FM and less with GM. It's kind of odd to me that she has this partial custody/partial foster care going on anyway.

Whew. Do let us know how things are going. Thank you for updating, I had been wondering! 

We agree that it is odd, and especially now that she is refusing contact (which yea is her right to) we think we'll talk to the case worker after paternity is established about them spending less time over there. I wonder about parental alienation, I mean if she is upset about us, what is she telling the boys about us? 

koalasami
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 9:35 AM


We agree that it is odd, and especially now that she is refusing contact (which yea is her right to) we think we'll talk to the case worker after paternity is established about them spending less time over there. I wonder about parental alienation, I mean if she is upset about us, what is she telling the boys about us? 

That is definitely a valid concern.  Hopefully the test will be completed soon and you will be able request that they see her less frequently.  This arrangement really is strange.  I don't see how they can justify it as being what is best for the children because as an adult that would be unsettling being in a different place that frequently.  Even if they work together well that is a lot of bouncing around.

mcginnisc
by Claire on Jul. 12, 2012 at 4:45 PM

Yay!!! That is awesome that things are moving in the right direction. 

Claire

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" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

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