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How do you feel about Facebook as a way of contacting birth parents?

That is my only communication with them since I do not really speak to them. It drives me nuts that my friends and family are friends with them and always tag them in posts.
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 9:56 PM
Replies (41-44):
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 7:58 PM

I talked with my adoption counselor today just to get some perspective on the situation and she told me its ultimately up to us and if we choose the contact or not. She told me to try and not let them get to me and if I feel its right for Avery then move forward with the decision.

Quoting Malley:

 I think some birth families (and aparents) have come to view open adoption as having the sort of visitation a noncustodial parent gets after a divorce. Whatever floats people's boats, but I personally wouldn't want a warm and fuzzy relationship with bioparents complete with sleepovers and holidays spent together. I hear comments about it's in the best interest of the child, or studies prove....etc., but I'd like to see the results of studies done of families living in each other's pockets. Just like in divorce cases I have to wonder if you don't get into that dynamic, of kids playing one parent against the other or the birthfamily playing Disney moms and dads.


by on Jul. 14, 2012 at 12:49 AM

I personally love this form of communicating. I don't add random people to my facebook, so it's only the people I want on there, and I have my settings at the top privacy levels. I added certain members of my sons bio family to my Fb per his mothers request. It's a great way for them to be updated on how lil guy is doing, without me or T having to make separate phone calls or messages.

by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 10:17 PM

 I keep in contact with our BM via FB, text etc. For now it works.

by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 9:26 PM
My daughters biodad is a child molester. If anyone ever sent him pics or tagged him in pics of my daughter, that'd be the last time that person ever had/saw a picture of my daughter... you sound like a better person than me.

Quoting cjnaber:

You are right, you do not know anything about our situation. She did not give us her children, they were taken away from her. And yes, the bio dad is a child molester. One of the reasons that she does not have her kids right now. We have an open adoption with all our kids and we have been more than generous with following the agreement. She has even stayed in our house several times so she could afford to visit the kids.

Please do not judge until you know the whole situation. I was simply stating that my husband emails and send HER pictures not for her to share by putting on facebook and tagging the child molesting bio father. We do NOT have an open adoption with him, it is with her so yes it FLOORS me that she would abuse her privilege of receiving pictures of the kids and then share them without permission. It just bothers me greatly that the man that abused my daughter is getting to see pictures of her.

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