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any moms with special needs kids?

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Wondering how anyone else deals with the comments? The comments and dirty looks from people we don't even know are hard enough. Honestly, I think the hardest person to deal with is my mother. She's told me several times that its because I don't spank my daughter...my daughter has ptsd, and has violent flashbacks where she doesn't know where she is and its very dangerous...I'm pretty sure I shouldn't spank her and purposely set that off...

My moms newest thing is she goes around and tells everyone my daughters "fine" and that "she had some issues but she's better now." My daughter has PTSD, she's on the spectrum, she has ODD, bipolar...she's never going to be "better"! My daughter behaves now bc I am with her 24 hrs a day and calm her down quickly when she needs someone to. I explain this to my mom over and over but she will never understand. She's going around church now, told my daughters Sunday school teacher that I don't need to stay with her anymore bc she's all better now... were skipping church today bc I don't wanna argue anymore. Last time I left my daughter alone in Sunday school for 10 min 3 ppl we're bleeding...I had to restrain her and got a bloody nose and fat lip myself, but obvi I should try again...*rolls eyes*
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by on Jul. 15, 2012 at 7:20 AM
Replies (11-16):
Javamom00
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 10:25 AM

RAD and ADHD, both my older boys


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StA123C
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 7:35 AM
Glad to know I'm not alone. I don't have a sitter, a friend or even a family member that will take her for an hour so I can go to drs or anything. In addition to that, the public school will not let her into the special ed program or give an IEP bc they say her test scores are too high, so its not effecting her education, so instead they just suspend her everyday (I literally mean everyday). So now she's homeschooled...I can't even work because I literally have nowhere for her to go. Gets very stressful sometimes too when people ask me about her school and don't understand that I didn't have a choice.


Quoting Amy127:

Our ads has special needs. They have gotten better and not so medically demanding over time as his immune system improved. However he has severe sensory processing disorder, its part of autism but we haven't gotten an autism diagnosis yet. We have almost no support from anyone. No one to watch him for us ever. This has caused a huge problem in our marriage, on the verge of divorce actually. We do have a counselor and he has an IEP but no one offers respite here. When he was in his previous home he received 80 hours a month of respite . We get zero! My SIL is the best with him but she lives 3 hours away. I totally understand whats its like with no support.

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2Busy4Choas
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 8:26 AM

 Our daughter has RAD,ODD, Sensory Proscessing Disorder, ADHD, Anxiety and some OCD .... I dont think some people realize these things dont just vanish- some days maybe better than others but they dont just go away...

StA123C
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 9:28 AM


Quoting 2Busy4Choas:

 Our daughter has RAD,ODD, Sensory Proscessing Disorder, ADHD, Anxiety and some OCD .... I dont think some people realize these things dont just vanish- some days maybe better than others but they dont just go away...


Exactly.. I don't know how many times I've told my mom "she's not all better. She doesn't have a cold..."

SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jul. 20, 2012 at 8:59 PM
1 mom liked this
I have heard about something called (I think) a 504 plan for emotional issues that require additional classroom support... Have you tried that route at all? It's not an IEP since it's not based on cognitive or educational issues, but instead very specific to kids who have the kind of emotional needs that your DD is dealing with.

I know homeschooling is the only functional solution for some families, but it just doesn't sound like your daughter received any attempt at appropriate support, and it might be worth considering if you think going back to school would be helpful...

Quoting StA123C:

Glad to know I'm not alone. I don't have a sitter, a friend or even a family member that will take her for an hour so I can go to drs or anything. In addition to that, the public school will not let her into the special ed program or give an IEP bc they say her test scores are too high, so its not effecting her education, so instead they just suspend her everyday (I literally mean everyday). So now she's homeschooled...I can't even work because I literally have nowhere for her to go. Gets very stressful sometimes too when people ask me about her school and don't understand that I didn't have a choice.



Quoting Amy127:

Our ads has special needs. They have gotten better and not so medically demanding over time as his immune system improved. However he has severe sensory processing disorder, its part of autism but we haven't gotten an autism diagnosis yet. We have almost no support from anyone. No one to watch him for us ever. This has caused a huge problem in our marriage, on the verge of divorce actually. We do have a counselor and he has an IEP but no one offers respite here. When he was in his previous home he received 80 hours a month of respite . We get zero! My SIL is the best with him but she lives 3 hours away. I totally understand whats its like with no support.




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StA123C
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:10 PM

Yes, we have heard of the 504. Coldn't get her one of those either. And you;re right. The school made NO attempt at appropriate support. This is actually a very very long story... I ended up taking them to court with a lawyer, actually went through 2 lawyers, even offered to split the bill on sending her to a special education school if they'd refer her (it's the public school's job to pay but the public school has to refer her no way around it), but they wouldn't do it. I was told by educational lawyers that they didn't want to give her any services because it would mess with their budget and how much money they recieve, etc. I don't know. The whole situation was out of control. I'm a single mom and I just left work at like 9am every single day because she was getting kicked out. I had no income because of the school. My home was in forclosure. My daughter was suicidal because she was "so bad". I don't understand the school's logic. I told the superintendent and the principal that when my daughter died in their school because they couldn't keep her safe, neither one of then would have a job, but they didn't care...

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