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Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

Do you identify yourself as an amom in other groups?

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 12:28 AM
  • 20 Replies
I generally don't. I guess I just don't want to get into the whole story about adopting my dd's children when I'm in a group for mom's with little kids. But on the other hand I feel kind of deceptive because I am not disclosing that I have two adult kids and have taught for 30 years. I just joined the one for elementary school age kids and haven't joined in b/c I feel kind of funny like I'm lying by ommission. I have sent kids off to K before and been there, done that with elem school. I have the same feeling with the fb page for his school. There is a grandma raising her kids who is always so self-deprecating and always saying stuff like "it's been so long since I bought school supplies". I don't intend to post my business there though I'm sure everyone will know since I taught some of those mommies lol. Your opinion?
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by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 12:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Opie99
by Member on Jul. 17, 2012 at 2:17 AM

Sometimes I say something as anon because I have had some bad experiences with cyber-harassment from a different mom site. 

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SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jul. 17, 2012 at 7:27 AM
I think it's fine to cop to previous parenting experience... Even if you want to protect the boys' privacy, people aren't necessarily going to jump on the adoption train just because this is a second time around with small children. At least, not in my opinion.

I almost always will let people know I'm a foster parent if it is appropriate in the context of the conversation. I just spoke with a woman in the Smarter Living group the other day who was frustrated about adoption being "expensive". And in groups where people know me, they know I foster and am willing to talk about it.

I don't talk about my son's case or his adoption as much, sometimes not at all. I do want to protect his privacy. The same with other public places like church, school, etc. Those who are good friends or who need to know, no problem. Otherwise it's not necessarily their business, though I also don't lie or misrepresent the situation.
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aprilz1225
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2012 at 9:02 AM

 only when ppl ask if we are ever going to "have another" or they think hubby is step-dad. then i say that sonner is adopted and now that we are waiting i say we are on the list for our 2nd adoption.

Malley
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 9:42 AM
How do you post anonymously?

Quoting Opie99:

Sometimes I say something as anon because I have had some bad experiences with cyber-harassment from a different mom site. 

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FlyingMommy747
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 9:53 AM

Only in one other group do I identify that my DD is adopted.  It is a group of mom's with kids the same age as mine, and I guess that is a group I am the most active with.  It was actually kinda ironic that one post a few months back asks about hair and eye color and if your LO's hair was the same color as Mom or Dad.  Well my DD's hair and eyes happen to be the same as mine, but then again her B-Mom was looking for a couple that would look like her baby.

Isaacsmom913
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 11:07 AM
No. If we had given birth to him I wouldnt identify myself as a bio mom and there fore dont feel the need to identify as an adoptive mom.
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aprilz1225
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2012 at 12:02 PM

 There was a post one time in another group that was about a license to parent... That ppl should go through all kinds of test to be cleared to be parents... i spoke up and said "gee guess i'm good, i'm an adoptive parent we do have to do that". "Our family passed for the 2 x so i think i got this"... you would have been inpressed how shocked ppl were when i told them about the homestudy process. lol.. but sometimes i don't to avoid dumb question... like when i say Conner is adopted, someone replied once " so your son is not biologicaly yours, don't you miss your real mom and dad (at my son) what do his parents think about that?... my reply.." well, let's see.. his birthmom wants no contact till 18 and his birthfather doesn't want him to know about him, so why don't you call and ask them." their reply "well excuse me".

arthistmom
by Member on Jul. 17, 2012 at 12:07 PM

Only if the situation/context calls for it; otherwise, no.

Opie99
by Member on Jul. 17, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Some groups have that option and some don't. It is usually by the ticker option in the reply.
I use this option when I really feel I need to say something but don't want the "backlash" directed at me


Quoting Malley:

How do you post anonymously?



Quoting Opie99:

Sometimes I say something as anon because I have had some bad experiences with cyber-harassment from a different mom site. 

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StA123C
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 10:50 PM
People are asking your son that?! Omg what is wrong with people?! I hope you go totally ape shit over that! I think that's the worst dumb comment I've heard of yet!


Quoting aprilz1225:

 There was a post one time in another group that was about a license to parent... That ppl should go through all kinds of test to be cleared to be parents... i spoke up and said "gee guess i'm good, i'm an adoptive parent we do have to do that". "Our family passed for the 2 x so i think i got this"... you would have been inpressed how shocked ppl were when i told them about the homestudy process. lol.. but sometimes i don't to avoid dumb question... like when i say Conner is adopted, someone replied once " so your son is not biologicaly yours, don't you miss your real mom and dad (at my son) what do his parents think about that?... my reply.." well, let's see.. his birthmom wants no contact till 18 and his birthfather doesn't want him to know about him, so why don't you call and ask them." their reply "well excuse me".


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