Some of you seen my other thread titled At what age do you tell....
After my husband and I discussed everything we decided of course we were going to tell her and be honest about everything keeping in mind her age (5) and making it appropriate for that.
We explained first what Adoption or Adopting meant....
Then we explained how we were so Lucky to be able to Pick out a Baby who needed a home and Love. Explained we got her at 6 months old. That we are not her biological (REAL) Mom and Dad from the beginning but we ARE her Mom and Dad and Love her More than Life and always will be here for her. That we Adopted her because her other Mom could not take care of her and keep her in a healthy and safe place. Much more was said but all in all things went well. As any 5 yr old she had some questions but I think as long as she knew we will always be a family, she was good with it.
Im sure in time, questions will arise. We told her anytime she wanted to talk about it we could or if she had questions.
Our daughter has some isses/ diagnoses one being ODD so therefore she thinks she HAS to be in control of everything. One thing I did tell my husband, we know she is and can be manipulative, is we can at anytime talk about this, comfort, ect but at the same time not let her use this as an excuse to get her way or start a victim personalitly...
And now how do you feel? I imagine it must be a huge weight off to get it out in the open, esp since your daughter responded so well. Only time will tell what other questions and feelings she will have, but you made a huge step forward by opening the conversation.
Great job, momma!
Thanks everyone... yes It is a HUGE relief. IDK what my husband had in his mind that was going to happen if we told her but she still Loves us like she did, he still HUNG the moon, ect. I know his concern was more if it was going to set her meltdowns off again but I think like the PP stated, we did it in a postive manner that makes her feel so special.... Im glad we got that over with. Thanks for the support
Way to go, mama! And just a note now that the conversation has begun. Her follow-up questions may come at some unusual places and sometimes inconvenient times. I've heard adoption questions from our older son out of the blue in the car, or at the grocery store, or one time, when he was just waking up. But we focused on his questions and answered them because it's what he needed at the time.
So happy you told her and that it went well! i know you were worried telling would set off her meltdowns again, maybe the opposite could be true. ;) You said she is very bright and asking lots of questions, maybe she "knew" something but didn't have the words or understanding for it and it made her act out. Totally just a guess there but i hope all will continue to go smoothly and so glad the weight of it is off your shoulders.
Can a young, single mom adopt??
- 2Busy4Choas
on Jul. 18, 2012 at 10:01 PM