Can anyone offer information/advice about adopting my younger half sibling?

[mommacierra]

I'm Cierra, new to this group. I am married with 3 biological children and looking into adopting my my 10yr old half sister. Her mom is having a hard time carrying for her thanks ti our dead beat father. Her mom is on disability and so is my half sister, for learning disabilities. Her mom is doing her best, but that is not quite enough, unfortunately. I just want information, qualifications and such, please. Thank you ladies in advance..

[Malley]

Would her mom be willing to let you adopt her? If so you would go through a lawyer for her to sign a surrender and then file a petition to adopt. You'd need a home study done.

[SarahSuzyQ]

Malley brings up the most important question, which is whether her mom is willing to let you adopt. Adoption can only happen if someone loses their parental rights.

Have you considered having her mom sign guardianship over to you instead? That way you would be able to make all the necessary decisions to parent and support your half-sister, but her mom would still be her mom. Just something to consider, as it doesn't sound like mom is really mistreating her or that it's a bad relationship... Sounds more like you want to provide some additional support for their family.

At any rate, you would need to make sure that you and her mom were on the same page, and perhaps go together to consult an attorney who specializes in family law/adoption. There is no way to do any of this stuff (guardianship, permanent custody, adoption, etc) without going to court. So the lawyer is probably your best bet, and he/she may also be able to explain different options to you. You will have to spend some $ to get this done, including attorney and homestudy fees.

[Malley]

You might want to look into Custody by Mandate. I was able to get if for $50 at a notary. It needs to be renewed yearly. It doesn't take away parent rights and they can end it whenever they want. It gives you the ability to make medical and educational decisions plus you could put her on your insurance.

[feralkitten]

i would sit down all the adult and yourself and talk about it all. tell  them what you think if you have not already

1) where they think  she sould live

2) what kinds of contact should be in place

3) talk about 50 /50 custody eg you have her school day they have her week ends

4) ask them what they think she need and what they think would be best

5) let them have time to think about it and even wright down what they think

then look into what best suits everyones needs.  adoption is a big step as you would be her legal mum for ever . maybe a guardianship or something would suite better exspashly if bm want to still be mum and have contact a lot .

[feralkitten]

also i have to bring it up you may want to think about hoe much you can give . as taken on a ten year old may not be as easy as you think she been in her life for 10 years she may not want to change to they way your family is she may have attachment problems. it maybe best to read a lot of fostering into about taken older kids and attachment disorders . she may not be better off in your care full time a  50 /50  care maybe best but then again it may not  i dont know your case so i'm just putting that info out there i hope it dose not upset you

[Rebekah8787]

I have my half sister we have the same mom but r mom would rather drink and party then raise her kids. Her dad couldn't handle 16 yr old children in youth got involved and since she was living w her dad he didn't care what happened and said about her living w me I knew nothing about it till they showed up at my house and asked if I could take her. She had a case worker and everything I never had a back ground check or a home study I didn't have to go to a lawyer or anything