We had no idea how daunting a task the adoption process was here in Los Angeles. We had to decide to either hire private attorney or go through the county. We chose a private attorney. After hearing the stories of several young women, I felt sad because there was a common thread amongst all of their stories: each woman never had a mentor or role model to guide them. I also thought about what a difficult decision these women had to make. Most of them had children already. Having to give up a chid had to be difficult. Going through this process helped me to decide to work with an organization that mentors young women.
I had no idea that the whole adoption process would be such an emotional roller coaster. Yes, we went through the adoption classes and our attorney advised us on the process but for some reason it just didn't register. The first bm we chose gave birth without informing us. Myself, the social worker and our attorney spent days trying to find her and the baby because she needed to sign documents. She finally told me that she and "baby girl" were home. I offered to bring her and her 6 children dinner and she proceeded to curse me out. According to her, I was bothering her. She just had baby and she wasn't going to run all over town to sign papers. Needless to say, we chose not to adopt "baby girl." (Yes, I had painted and decorated the room for a girl). A couple of months later, she sent a fb message apologizing for her behavior and to let us know that she turned the baby over to social services. Her hope was that we would find the baby and adopt her. I felt so sad for "baby girl." BM was paying a game with us. She never wanted "baby girl." she said so from the very beginning . My hope is that "baby girl" will find a loving family.
Our attorney found another potential bm. She had a baby girl. We purchased plane tickets to fly back east to adopt. An hour before we were leaving for the airport, the social worker called us to say that he bm wanted to keep the baby for a couple of days to show her family. I called the bm and told her we would not be adopting her baby.
Our attorney found a third bm. At ths point, I told my husband that I was done. I could not handle another adoption rejection. He convinced me to at least talk to this bm. I did. We agreed to fly out and meet her and her family. We did. Our meeting occurred as if we were family members who had not seen each other in years. It was a match made in heaven. Days before our son was born, we flew down south for his birth. I was in he delivery room with the bm's mom. We all went through contractions together and we all pushed my baby out. It was the most amazing experience ever!
We have an open adoption so I communicate and send pictures to his bm often. He is our little PBOJ (precious bundle of joy). Motherhood is great! I used to say that teaching was the best job ever. Now being a mom is the best "job" ever. Teaching is second!!!