This is my 23rd year at my school, which has a large faculty with a regular turn over, and I just realized I am the only person there who has adopted. One of our itinerate therapists adopted internattionally 7 years ago, and when I wanted to do a little something for her even if it was just take up a collection for a gift card, no one wanted to because she was single so they all thought she was a lesbian. Like that should be a reason not to celebrate an adoption even if she was. I do constant battle over my coworkers calling me grandma and I'm at the point I'm getting pretty short with people. Yesterday a new teacher whose son is going to his school asked me if my "grandson" was taking the bus that afternoon. She came after I adopted him, so obviously other people are still telling folks that I am the grandmother. I have also had to field comments from coworkers who think I stole the boys from my dd, that I was wrong to adopt them, that I am "like" a mother but am not. It's frustrating and I'm just glad I don't have much longer before I retire. But what gives? Do you think certain regions have more people who are negative towards adoptions? I've heard ugly comments about families when "father unknown' is marked on a child's BC or when a family member is raising the child. They are also negative towards divorced families and expect those kids to be bad. The majority of the faculty consider themselves religious and they hold a prayer meeting after school one day a week. I would have thought Christians would be more inclined to support adoption since they are against pro choice.
I ended up home schooling until I moved to Texas.
So ,yes it happens a lot I think and not just for adopted kids/families.
Malley,
I have a feeling that many people just don't understand adoption and what it entails. Also, it used to be a "taboo" subject, whereas today it is a very open subject. Many people are obtuse when it comes to intra-family adoption. I can imagine that it becomes very frustrating for you.
Most Christians are very pro-adoption, but that does not mean they understand it completely.
Quoting jen1130:
When we lived in Missouri I was there with the 4 kids and DH was in Key West and then he moved to Germany to finish out his military career. Our youngest bio son was being a turkey,for 3 years I battled with him about doing home work and turning it in. I would never know he slipped again until progress report time. By the 3rd year I was not nearly as nice! I marched in to the principle and told him your teachers have my phone numbers,my mailing address my email as well as my DH's email. I hear nothing until pregress reports. He looked me right in the eye and said well Since you 2 were getting a divorce we don't want to get involved so we just leave the other parent out. Well I called my DH put him on speaker we filled him in. I had a lot to say the the WHOLE office on the other said of the door heard.
I ended up home schooling until I moved to Texas.
So ,yes it happens a lot I think and not just for adopted kids/families.
Oh to be a fly on that wall! I can only imagine what they felt like after you went bonkers with their less than stellar communication skills regarding your son! They dropped the ball completely!
It was kind of funny but I really felt like a drill sargent when I left.
The sad thing is that is the same school system were my granddaughter will be in: (
But I thank god every day we got our kids out!
Quoting mcginnisc:
Quoting jen1130:
When we lived in Missouri I was there with the 4 kids and DH was in Key West and then he moved to Germany to finish out his military career. Our youngest bio son was being a turkey,for 3 years I battled with him about doing home work and turning it in. I would never know he slipped again until progress report time. By the 3rd year I was not nearly as nice! I marched in to the principle and told him your teachers have my phone numbers,my mailing address my email as well as my DH's email. I hear nothing until pregress reports. He looked me right in the eye and said well Since you 2 were getting a divorce we don't want to get involved so we just leave the other parent out. Well I called my DH put him on speaker we filled him in. I had a lot to say the the WHOLE office on the other said of the door heard.
I ended up home schooling until I moved to Texas.
So ,yes it happens a lot I think and not just for adopted kids/families.Oh to be a fly on that wall! I can only imagine what they felt like after you went bonkers with their less than stellar communication skills regarding your son! They dropped the ball completely!
I usually just say that they don't understand adoptions in any aspect... now i am starting to think that the line of ignorant and stupid with these ppl is just dumbfounding.... I would have lost it on some of them big time..
Quoting mcginnisc:Malley,
I have a feeling that many people just don't understand adoption and what it entails. Also, it used to be a "taboo" subject, whereas today it is a very open subject. Many people are obtuse when it comes to intra-family adoption. I can imagine that it becomes very frustrating for you.
Most Christians are very pro-adoption, but that does not mean they understand it completely.
lmao.."ooooooooooooo i'm a Navy brat and i can just see it... their eyes pop'n right out of their heads.. you with the "that's what's up look" i bet they never messed with another military family again...lol...
Quoting jen1130:
When we lived in Missouri I was there with the 4 kids and DH was in Key West and then he moved to Germany to finish out his military career. Our youngest bio son was being a turkey,for 3 years I battled with him about doing home work and turning it in. I would never know he slipped again until progress report time. By the 3rd year I was not nearly as nice! I marched in to the principle and told him your teachers have my phone numbers,my mailing address my email as well as my DH's email. I hear nothing until pregress reports. He looked me right in the eye and said well Since you 2 were getting a divorce we don't want to get involved so we just leave the other parent out. Well I called my DH put him on speaker we filled him in. I had a lot to say the the WHOLE office on the other said of the door heard.
I ended up home schooling until I moved to Texas.
So ,yes it happens a lot I think and not just for adopted kids/families.
I'm not certain that it's necessarily a regional thing but more likely city vs. country setting, and certainly the exposure and familiarity (than not) to the adoption phenomenon. We live in a large metropolis and adoptive families (especially IA), blended, multicultural families, and LGBT families are relatively common. I've gotten genuine curious queries from people (which I'm usually happy to answer), but, so far, not one ignorant, moronic question/comment. There is a big difference.
Quote:
Do you think certain regions have more people who are negative towards adoptions?
Quoting arthistmom:I'm not certain that it's necessarily a regional thing but more likely city vs. country setting, and certainly the exposure and familiarity (than not) to the adoption phenomenon. We live in a large metropolis and adoptive families (especially IA), blended, multicultural families, and LGBT families are relatively common. I've gotten genuine curious queries from people (which I'm usually happy to answer), but, so far, not one ignorant, moronic question/comment. There is a big difference.
Quote:
Do you think certain regions have more people who are negative towards adoptions?
It was really bad as my daughter is Cambodian she did not get the best treatment and she was only 4 when we moved there.
Quoting aprilz1225:lmao.."ooooooooooooo i'm a Navy brat and i can just see it... their eyes pop'n right out of their heads.. you with the "that's what's up look" i bet they never messed with another military family again...lol...
Quoting jen1130:
When we lived in Missouri I was there with the 4 kids and DH was in Key West and then he moved to Germany to finish out his military career. Our youngest bio son was being a turkey,for 3 years I battled with him about doing home work and turning it in. I would never know he slipped again until progress report time. By the 3rd year I was not nearly as nice! I marched in to the principle and told him your teachers have my phone numbers,my mailing address my email as well as my DH's email. I hear nothing until pregress reports. He looked me right in the eye and said well Since you 2 were getting a divorce we don't want to get involved so we just leave the other parent out. Well I called my DH put him on speaker we filled him in. I had a lot to say the the WHOLE office on the other said of the door heard.
I ended up home schooling until I moved to Texas.
So ,yes it happens a lot I think and not just for adopted kids/families.
Can a young, single mom adopt??
- Malley
on Aug. 19, 2012 at 12:45 PM