Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Its not my story to tell, its Zacharys...

Posted by   + Show Post

Hi, my name is Erma. I am married to my best friend. We have been together since I was 15 years old. We share three children of our own. I have a baby named Zachary that we just got permanent custody of on August 13, 2012. The baby was born On December 22, 2010. The child belongs to my husband cousin. We had the baby with us for the first 3 months of his life off and on, then his mother who has mental health issues took him away for 2 months, on May 21, 2011 DEFACS gave him back to my husband and I. The baby was one day shy of 5 months and weighed less than 12 lbs. He had severe bruises on each side of his head. His mother was arrested for 3 counts of child cruelty. It was the day before he turned 5 months old. The parents had visitation 1 time a week on Tuesdays from 8 am till 10 am. They couldn't even make visitation to see their baby. Within one week of us having him DEFACS had us take him to be circumcised, because they didn't take care of it properly and you couldn't clean it properly because it was closed all but just a little hole. We had to build a room, pay for finger prints, pay for drug test, have our children given and us physicals, and our dogs updated on all shots, and do everything that anyone else would have to do to become foster parents. A very long process. Well, we are from Ga and the mother and father moved to Cheyenne Wy on August 17, 2011. Not having anymore visitation with the baby. They call from time to time. They never called on his first birthday, or Christmas. They promise to send him stuff and never have. They are worthless. But, really honestly don't care for there son. In fact, when we was gonna let DEFACS pull the rights and adopt the baby ~ the mother had the nerve to ask me for an open adoption. Then, she went on to tell me that ..." Erma, me and Sam ain't gonna fight you for Zach, Sam wants a baby from start to finish not one someone has taken care of for over a year..." So, basically she said they didn't want him... She already lost one to DEFACS when she was 3 months. Her mother lost her and her brothers and sisters to DEFACS. Same thing with her Grandmother who had all her children removed by DEFACS. Their loss, our gain. We love this baby. He is our blessing. 

My question is this group for me...?

Because, we didnt adopt persay, we decided to accept permanant custody since they didnt want him anyway. Since we already have 3 children of our own DEFACS said this was the best route to accomplish the same thing... Alot less money. 

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 4:48 PM
Replies (11-15):
BamaPride1980
by on Aug. 25, 2012 at 8:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I wasnt trying to make anyone sad, just trying to be honest about the facts. Thank you. He is our blessing. I prayed for another baby, because now I am unable to have more. God answered my prayer and blessed me with a little angel baby that needed me. I am very thankful for every moment with him is a gift. He is so smart. He cant talk like a grown up, he can talk thoug... even though u cant understand everything he says he understands clearly what you say. He wont be two until Dec. 22. The other day, he walked over to my computer table... Put his little hand on the drawer, looked around to see if anyone was looking (I looked away real fast), then he slowly pulled the drawer open peeking inside... then shut it real fast, then looked around to see once again if anyone was looking (i looked away real fast), he pulled the drawer open real fast, grabbed my sons deorderant out, ripped the lid off, and started putting it on... These are the moments that I am in Awe of him... He just leaves me with a smile. He even smiles in his sleep. <3

Quoting Javamom00:

Welcome.  You made me cry.  Good for you and your DH and boys for adjusting. THis is going to effect all of you while your "baby son" is growing up.  Remain positive even when the worst seems to be hitting. I think you have been through the majority of it.  I am a amom, sm, and bm. The situation with my ss has been what you have been going through. My adopted son is an open adoption and so much easier and better than the custodial ss situation. YOUR baby is beautiful. God Bless all of you. Please keep us posted. You are a fine person for what you have done.  HUGS>


Javamom00
by Member on Aug. 25, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Him and I share the same bday..except I will be 37.

Quoting BamaPride1980:

I wasnt trying to make anyone sad, just trying to be honest about the facts. Thank you. He is our blessing. I prayed for another baby, because now I am unable to have more. God answered my prayer and blessed me with a little angel baby that needed me. I am very thankful for every moment with him is a gift. He is so smart. He cant talk like a grown up, he can talk thoug... even though u cant understand everything he says he understands clearly what you say. He wont be two until Dec. 22. The other day, he walked over to my computer table... Put his little hand on the drawer, looked around to see if anyone was looking (I looked away real fast), then he slowly pulled the drawer open peeking inside... then shut it real fast, then looked around to see once again if anyone was looking (i looked away real fast), he pulled the drawer open real fast, grabbed my sons deorderant out, ripped the lid off, and started putting it on... These are the moments that I am in Awe of him... He just leaves me with a smile. He even smiles in his sleep. <3

Quoting Javamom00:

Welcome.  You made me cry.  Good for you and your DH and boys for adjusting. THis is going to effect all of you while your "baby son" is growing up.  Remain positive even when the worst seems to be hitting. I think you have been through the majority of it.  I am a amom, sm, and bm. The situation with my ss has been what you have been going through. My adopted son is an open adoption and so much easier and better than the custodial ss situation. YOUR baby is beautiful. God Bless all of you. Please keep us posted. You are a fine person for what you have done.  HUGS>


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
harmony7
by Bronze Member on Aug. 25, 2012 at 6:22 PM
1 mom liked this

 What a beautiful story ending in a precious blessing!Welcome to the group...from a Bama mom!

Pam in Alabama
A Mom to nine sons and one daughter with six still at home!
MommynMonster
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:38 PM

For the next time around, the proper way to clean an intact penis is just to wipe it down without retracting anything. The tip is supposed to be a small hole that will only open to let urine out and keep poop/bacteria from getting in and when males get older, it opens up more :)


As for his birth parents- wow. just wow, i cant even wrap my head around their logic. Im so glad he has you and your family to love him the way kids need.

BamaPride1980
by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 8:06 AM

I have three boys of my own, but was all circumcised. All I know is that a week after I had him defacs told me I needed to take him to an appt they had set up for him to have it done. Yeah, she already lost one baby to defacs when it was 3 months old. She never tried to get her back either. She is trying to have another, last I heard. Thank you for the info. We enjoy having him. He is part of our family. Just one of the boys. A blessing no doubt. :)

Quoting MommynMonster:

For the next time around, the proper way to clean an intact penis is just to wipe it down without retracting anything. The tip is supposed to be a small hole that will only open to let urine out and keep poop/bacteria from getting in and when males get older, it opens up more :)


As for his birth parents- wow. just wow, i cant even wrap my head around their logic. Im so glad he has you and your family to love him the way kids need.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)