Adopting

[Cbfuller]

I am a 56 year old. Married. 3 girls 1 16 year old son still at home. Two of the girls are married, one with 2 kids. The youngest , 27, trying to get pregnant. The 3rd daughter is 32, not married, no money, moving from place to place mooching off people and pregnant with twins. My husband is thinking she will end up putting them up for adoption and he wants to do it. I think we could do it and it would be great. My daughter who is pregnant with them thinks we would be too old by the time they are 20. We would be up there but if they were more behaved than she was, I don't think it would be a problem. Ant thoughts from you guys on this subject?

[SarahSuzyQ]

We have a couple of members who have adopted grandchildren, so I'm sure they'll have some great advice.

I do think that a child is often better staying with family when that's an option... Has your daughter mentioned adoption, or is that coming from your DH? Would you support her in trying to get stable and raising the babies herself, or is that not really an option?

Welcome to the group, btw. I hope you get good advice and maybe some new perspectives as you explore the possibility of adoption.

[feralkitten]

if you are both healthy then i can't see the problem yes you will be old when there in there 20's but the will have older sister and brothers and nieces and nephew about same age  to look after them 

[Cbfuller]

I would very much like her to straighten up and raise them-herself but I am not seeing any hope. Basically all hats on her mind is moving in. I can't do that. All she does is take advantage. I would end up raising them and her. She has had her chances. Now there will be 2 more.

[Cbfuller]

If I don't try and get them, they will end up in the system for sure.

[socalkatt]

I say go for it! My husband and I just finalized our adoption. Our daughter is 7 months old, we adopted her straight from the birth mom. I am 51 and my husband 50. I will say I get a bit more tired than I thought I would, but all it takes to give me that boost of energy is her beautiful smile and giggles. We don't have our own parents any longer but have a huge support system with family and our close neighbor's have been here to help.We married just 6 years ago and neither one of us had any children of our own, so it was a bit of a learning time the first 2 months, but we now feel very seasoned.We worry about when she is older but we believe raising her right will guide her and keep our energy up. Best wishes on your decision.

[aprilz1225]

 i think you should there are tons of older couples adopting these days.. go for it! but if your daughter is not up on the idea what about the daughter try'n to get preg. that also could be an option. being within the family is best in any situation.

[jen1130]

We are 42 & 45 our bio kids are 24,22 and 16. Our adopted kids are 14,11,11 and 5. One of the 11 yr olds has been with us from birth. We were a little worried about getting a 3 yr old (now 5). I really think it is working out ok. I am not sorry : ) our granddaughter is 5 months older.