how I feel about our children's birth mom. (I have four step-parent adopted kids and one biological baby) Our children's biological mother has not been in their lives at all for the last five years because she has been on drugs. Over a year ago she consented to let me adopt them. Since then she has remarried and has two beautiful step children. For the last five years I have not wanted her to be involved in their lives at all because she was abusing drugs and alchohol and would talk badly of my husband and I and our families the one time a year she got to see the kids. She has come to see the kids four or five times the last month and she doesn't seem like the same person! She is respectful, sober, and her step kids (who ironically only have her in their life and they refer to her as mom) are little angels, which I'm sure you know is impressive at the ages of 3 and 4 :) My husband and his family (not my family) are very upset that she is trying to come back into their lives. I think that it is important that the kids know where they come from and I do not feel like if she is in their lives it will cause problems. The more people that love and support my children the better! Also their biomom is tribal (we live on a reservation) and my kids are first line descendants so I think it is important for them to know their heritage. Do you think I am crazy for feeling like it is OK if biomom and her family come to dinner once a week, attend the kids sporting events, go hunting with us, etc.? If there was any sign that she was back on drugs or being a bad influence on the kids I would want to limit visitiations more but I really feel like the right thing to do is to let her be a part of their lives. Do you have any suggestions on how I can explain this to my husband and his family? Right now it feels like it is me and her against them and I do not want it to be that way. I just want everyone to try to get along and be a positive influence in the kids' life!!!!