Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

Questions to ask? PIOG

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 5:42 PM
  • 7 Replies

*We are looking to adopt an older child, whether straight adoption or foster to adopt.*

Our homestudy is just about complete, though we can already have foster kids in our home. We have inquired on some kids, and have a few case workers waiting for our home study.

There is one child (well, almost teen) we inquired on that we think would be a good match. She is at the top of my husband's list as she and him share similar interests (which he feels would help them bond better). I know from a previous child inquiry not to fall in love with a photo listing, lol.

Anyway, on Friday I'm supposed to talk to her case worker on the phone. She can tell me more about her, and I can ask questions. I know I won't be able to find out everything about her, but I should be able to find out as much as a foster parent (from what I've been told). What are some good questions to ask?

I'm nervous and excited. Her case worker already seems to have taken a liking to us, and I know she gets less inquiries than others we've looked at because she'll be a teen in just a few months. I just want to know from the get go if she isn't a good match for our family.

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 5:42 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Oct. 3, 2012 at 8:03 PM
Do you know what kinds of things might be deal-breakers for your family? That's probably a good place to start.

I would ask how long she's been in care, how many foster families she's been with, and if the worker would share why (if any) moves have happened. I would also want to know if you can speak with the current foster family, any service providers, etc.

I know we have some moms who have been through this process, so I'm really interested in their perspective on these early conversations... I hope you get some helpful advice from everyone!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bekalynne440
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 6:28 PM

Thank you!  I think I have my list ready now.  I asked DH if he had any questions (he'll still be at work when the case worker calls me), and he sweetly responded "What are her favorite foods, movies and hobbies?"  He knows there's more important stuff than that to find out, but I guess he just figured I'd ask all that stuff, lol.

Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

Do you know what kinds of things might be deal-breakers for your family? That's probably a good place to start.

I would ask how long she's been in care, how many foster families she's been with, and if the worker would share why (if any) moves have happened. I would also want to know if you can speak with the current foster family, any service providers, etc.

I know we have some moms who have been through this process, so I'm really interested in their perspective on these early conversations... I hope you get some helpful advice from everyone!


SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Oct. 4, 2012 at 6:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Please keep us posted! I hope it's clear what the next step is for her and for your family.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
meam4444
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:58 AM

bump

feralkitten
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 11:05 AM

i ask if there any sing of an attachment disorder . as it allways good to know if they have got one and i lot of older kids in care do have attachment disorders not all of them 

SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:07 PM
Bump for an update... How did it go?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bekalynne440
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:42 PM
I guess the case worker had something come up, so I wasn't able to talk with her. I should hopefully get a chance this week though. I'm waiting to hear back from her about when.


Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

Bump for an update... How did it go?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN