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We want children of our own sooo bad it is killing us!!!!!

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We have been married for 5 years and miscarried a set of twins a few months after we were married. We have not been pregnant since. I have what is called cusings disease and the doctors say i might not be able to get pregnant or carry a baby to term. So after hearing this horrible news we decided to do adoption. We were liscensed for almost 2 years and had no luck adopting.Now we switched to foster to adopt but are not having any luck adopting the children usually end back with the parents. I would just like some information and help for us to adopt and get the family we have always wanted!!!! I just wanna be a mommy!!!!

by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:48 PM
Replies (11-20):
mcginnisc
by Claire on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:10 AM

http://www.embryoadoption.org/

http://www.embryodonation.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embryo_donation

Here are a few sites for you to check out.. the Wiki will be just a little basic information, but the other 2 should give you more information about the process. 



Claire

Moderator: Healthy Weight Loss & Adoptive Moms

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

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sukie5
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:13 AM

Have you considered going international?  How about a child with special needs of some kind? We have 5 adopted children and 2 with special needs -- a true blessing!

SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:59 AM
I'm saying a prayer right now for your baby and his safety. Does he have a guardian ad litem or a CASA, someone who can fight for his best interest in court?

I'm sure you know this, but the state is required to look into relatives before they can consider allowing permanency elsewhere. So they are simply taking the next step. If he has family that can truly love and care for him, hard as that may be, it's really a good thing for him. If he doesn't, hopefully that will be clear in the home study process.

Try to hang in there, and keep doing what you're doing: loving this little guy and helping him heal. It sounds like you are just the mommy he needs right now.

Please let us know how he is doing, how you are doing, if you need to vent... There are lots of us who have dealt with the system, the back-and-forth, the worries and the uncertainty. We are here to listen, and to help if we can. (((Kelli Jo & baby boy)))

Quoting Kelli_Jo_02:

I want to thank everyone for the advice. The baby that we have now is our only placement that we have had. We have had him twice. We got himĀ  in June and he was 5 months old (he had a fractured skull, bleeding on the brain and bruises (EVERYWHERE)and exactly a month later we got a call again to go and get him again from childrens hospital and he had 2 broken legs and the legs were in casts. We still have him but there is talk from the workers to give him to an aunt or someone in his family in the next couple of months. The Mom cant get him back riight now and the Dad (was not in picture either time anything happened) just seems like he wants everyone else to raise his baby.



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Isaacsmom913
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 3:53 PM
1 mom liked this

It's hard isn't it, to wait and wonder!

I can say our road to parenthood was 13 years in the making.  Infertility, surgery, miscarriages OH MY.  However we were finally blessed with our son.  It was hard watching "everyone else" have their dreams come true...but I know now the timing was PERFECT.

Hang in there!  My best and only advise is do not live every day with what ifs--enjoy the moments where it is you and your hubby for when that baby finally does come home-be it tomorrow, or 13 years from now life changes and you can NEVER get those carefree days back.

HUGS.

Mweddle
by Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 5:02 PM

 I can't even tell you how much our foster moms mean to us.  <3 what you are doing is amazing and appreciated.  You will eventually get a placement that leads to an adoption.  Maybe when they call you for a child you can tell them you only want poor prognosis cases (which means they are about to go to court to terminate rights.  We think we will try foster to adopt next.  We adopted our 5 year old dd through foster care through straight up adoption and we are adopting a 6 year old boy (he should come home soon) through straight up adoption.   Would you be willing to adopt a waiting sibling group?  Maybe a 6 year old and a 3 year old?  You know something like that?  Only thing I can tell you is that we tried for 3 years to have a baby.  We waited 5 more months for our daughter. It was a hard process.  I'm sorry you are going through this pain.  I do believe with every fiber of my being that our dd was meant to be ours.  The wait was worth it because we were made for each other.  <3  I truly beleve that this will happen for you.  I will be praying for you.  I know how hard it is.

RoddaMom
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 5:46 PM

That is so TERRIBLE. I'm so sorry that you are going through this and thanks for being wonderful and being there for this little angel. Hugs to you and I'm SURE that there is a child or will be a child that YOU were meant to be with. I have four step parent adopted children and one bio child and we are all supposed to be together. It will work out just keep on keeping on.

Quoting Kelli_Jo_02:

I want to thank everyone for the advice. The baby that we have now is our only placement that we have had. We have had him twice. We got him  in June and he was 5 months old (he had a fractured skull, bleeding on the brain and bruises (EVERYWHERE)and exactly a month later we got a call again to go and get him again from childrens hospital and he had 2 broken legs and the legs were in casts. We still have him but there is talk from the workers to give him to an aunt or someone in his family in the next couple of months. The Mom cant get him back riight now and the Dad (was not in picture either time anything happened) just seems like he wants everyone else to raise his baby.


iluvsn85
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I know how you feel. 2 years of trying And many many miscarrages, we were told we cant not have children on our own. We looked to adoption. After almost a year of classes, inspections and our business being everyones business. We were placed with 2 children as foster care into an adoption case in May of 2011, we have ran into some massive bumps and will be finalizing the adoption in Dec. We have been married 7 years in AUG.

You will be a Mom, I know its so hard to see people in stores and either being rude to their kids or just thinking why are they so blessed. I have broke down in tears many times walking by the baby isle.

BUT the one thing you will have and can take away from all this painful awful waiting is you will never take your child/children for granted.. an dyou will be an amazing Mother, it will be the part you were born to play.im not sure if you are a religious person, but something that helped my husband and I, you can have a child and give it away, but when you adopt a child it is a forever bond. It will happen! I am here for you whenever you want or need to talk to someone, lets face it dh are great, but sometimes they dont get it and your girlfriends unless that have been in your shoes they dont have a clue.

I hope you have a good night!
iluvsn85
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:07 PM
Also foster parenting is wonderfuld amazing thing, but since we knew we wanted to adopt and I couldnt get attached to a child then have the baby leave us. So we told our case worker children with terminated rights only. That helped not toy with our emotions.
shay0810
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:04 AM
We did foster care for six years before our son got placed with us for adoption. Hang in there, it will happen!
KitKatKate80
by on Oct. 28, 2012 at 11:32 PM

Kuddos to you all for doing the foster to adopt path.  It sounds very emotional.  We're looking at straight adoption of a slightly older kiddo because I'm just not sure I have the strength right now for the long weight time it can take to get those foster to adopt situations worked out.  I haven't done this personally and I don't know if it would be an option for you, but a woman I know who does foster to adopt with the little ones always asks for as many placements as possible.  She says having a full house keeps her busy and helps lessen the loss to her when a reunification happens.  She also stays at home full time and loves to be busy with babies and toddlers, so she seems pretty happy with it, but I know every one's situation is different. 

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